Tag Archives: Humor

Prioritäten Setzen

November 11, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

You know, to prioritize?

The refocusing of U.S. attention on Asia that marked Mr. Obama’s first term had already provoked much soul-searching among Germans about the relevance of the trans-Atlantic ties that for decades defined their existence.

The failure to announce any early state visit to Germany is still perceived in Berlin as a snub, and has helped fuel the urban legend that Mr. Obama has not forgiven Ms. Merkel for refusing to let him speak as a senator before the city’s heavily symbolic Brandenburg Gate landmark.

“Berlin is not only a place of German history, but of American history. It is the city where the Americans twice triumphed over evil, first the Nazis and then the Communists.”

Germans Have Psychological Issues With Regards To Amerika?

November 9, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hate, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 12 Comments

Like, dude. I honestly had no idea.

German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. Yet Germany also harbors a childish infatuation with Obama — one which has little political grounding. The reasons are psychological.

…The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.

There Was Nothing Else In The News These Past Two Days

November 7, 2012 By in Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

So I thought I would post about the new non-stop long distance bus line from Leipzig to Frankfurt that will already be starting service this coming November 29.

It is going to be really neat. The trip might take a bit longer, I read, but at least you’ll be able to take your bike with you.

Längere Fahrzeit, aber Radmitnahme

This Just In: The Taliban Is Violent And Yucky

November 4, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Hate, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Infidel is in, again. Or at least it is for the 27-year-old German who had travelled to Waziristan with his wife intending to free the area from the “infidel occupiers” after they had converted to Islam.

He has now returned to Germany because, well, he was “disheartened by the violence and annoyed with the group’s macho and drug-taking world.”

The former fighter also complained of the unhygienic conditions in the war-torn lands of Pakistan’s Waziristan province and Afghanistan that left him infected with hepatitis, and which were, in his opinion, “incompatible with the teachings of the Koran”.

Holy crap. The Taliban is violent? Wow, like nobody had told me about that either, dude. We feel your pain (in the ass). So welcome back to the real, as in infidel world.

Take Your Pick

November 2, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You can have the German headline Zahl der Jobs seit Obamas Amtsantritt gestiegen (the number of jobs has increased during Obama’s term of office)…

Or you can have the German headline Arbeitslosenquote steigt vor US-Wahl leicht (the jobless rate climbs slightly before the US election – with the emphasis on slightly here, people).

The main thing is that they both remain misleading. I guess this psychological prepping now will be needed later to explain how dumb and ungrateful Americans are (if Obama loses) or how truly deserving his magnificent victory really was (if he wins).

Man of man. You can almost cut the nervous German nervousness here with a knife right now.

Arbeitslosenzahlen lassen Obama aufatmen.

Hurricanes Help

October 29, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Or at least that’s what Germans are openly hoping for right now.

The economic figures don’t really look very good, and although he (Obama) is more popular with the people (more popular than Gerhard Schröder was with German voters ten years ago before he was thought to have been “saved” politically by his perceived handling of the Elbe flooding catastrophe), he is behind in the polls. But maybe now a natural catastrophe could help him, too: Hurricane Sandy.

“Kein Präsident oder Kandidat darf auf eine drohende Naturkatastrophe mehr unterreagieren.”

Expats Pouting?

October 28, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

He may be the World President, but is he still ours?

“There’s a high interest (in voting) among expats in Germany, but I sense those on the Democrat side aren’t as fervent today as they were in 2008. There’s intense disappointment in President Obama’s leadership.”

Meanwhile… An opinion poll by the Emnid polling institute found 87 percent of German nationals would vote for Obama and only 5 percent for Romney if they had the chance to cast ballots.

Enthusiasm for Obama wanes among U.S. voters in Europe

Now It’s Getting Surreal

October 26, 2012 By in Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You know, as in having that disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream and being all like, well, unreal or fantastic?

I just stumbled across a German commentary in German published by a German in Germany entitled: Vielleicht ist Mitt Romney die bessere Wahl für die USA (Maybe Mitt Romney is the better choice for the USA).

Toto, you bullshitter, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

Der republikanische Präsidentschaftsbewerber hat als Gouverneur bewiesen, dass er pragmatisch regieren kann. Obama blieb unter den Erwartungen.

This Just In: Germans Drive Too Fast

October 25, 2012 By in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

During something they’re now calling a Blitz-Marathon (speed trap marathon), some 4000 German police caught some 30,000 German speeders during a large-scale 24-hour, well, speed trap marathon.

338 of these speed freaks were driving so fast that they are now facing a driving ban.

Germans everywhere are nevertheless empört (indignant) about this sneaky police campaign, however, because… Because, uh… Well, because Germans everywhere drive too fast. That’s just what they do.

Der schnellste Raser sei auf der Autobahn bei Düsseldorf mit 176 statt der erlaubten 60 Stundenkilometer erwischt worden.