German “Critical Thinking” vs. American Debate Culture

October 3, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Criticial Thinking, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Political Cutlure, Political Debates, Politics, Presidential Debates, Satire 3 Comments

Here is another interesting German commentary by American Eric T. Hansen in Die Zeit.

I’d like to translate it all, but I can’t, so I won’t (no time). Here are a few highlights, though:

Critical thinking does not allow for self-criticism. Where would we be then?

Critical thinking is not debating, it’s finding concensus, or, as I call it, harmony nagging (Harmonienörgeln): Two people criticize a third person so long until the two become friends.

If I want to hear a new or even a different perspective on something, I have to turn to the Anglo-American press. Regarding certain questions – for instance whether nuclear energy, genetically modified corn or having Mitt Romney as president might also have certain advantages – many of my German friends are not even aware that two sides to these arguments even exist.

I too understand Mitt Romney’s positions quite well and suspect that he would make just as good (or bad) a president as Obama. In America that makes me an intellectual. In Germany that makes me a right-winger.

Everything is so serious for the Germans, and they need to know immediately: “Who is my friend, who is my enemy?” For Americans and their debate clubs, however, there is always an element of playfulness involved.

Auch ich verstehe die Positionen eines Mitt Romney gut und ahne, dass er ein ebenso guter (oder schlechter) Präsident wie Obama wäre. In Amerika macht mich das zu einem Intellektuellen. In Deutschland macht mich das zu einem Rechten.

Germans Concerned That Obama Maybe Could Might Not Be Reelected Doch Nicht (After All) Perhaps

October 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Debt, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Humor, Obama, Political Science, Romney, Satire, Unemployment, USA, Washington Leave a comment

Germans everywhere are all aflutter these days at the prospect of their United States President maybe not being automatically reelected after all, like which ought to be selbstverständlich (understood) or something but isn’t irgendwie (somehow).

German political scientists have namely just discovered that the unemployment rate in the US of Obama is well over 8 percent (and has been during the entire Obama administration), poverty levels are way up (3.6 million more Americans live off state support than before he entered office), the rate of founding new companies is at a thirty year low, government spending and debt have risen to incredible levels and the economy will simply not kick into gear, with no recovery or White House plan to change any of this in sight (and with no George W. Bush in sight to blame anymore, either).

Otherwise though, Obama is still the perfect guy for the job. So alles wird gut (everything will fall into place), they HOPE (way cool slogan from somebody a few years back).

Gouverneur Martin O’Malley geriet in Verlegenheit. Ob es den Menschen besser gehe als vor vier Jahren, wollte ein Reporter von dem demokratischen Gouverneur Marylands wissen. “Nein”, hatte O’Malley geantwortet.

Grass Caught Smoking Grass Again

September 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Intellectuals, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Satire Leave a comment

After basking in the glory of his warmly received and highly acclaimed anti-Israeli poem in April, Germany’s Nobel Prize-winning author Günter Grass just can’t seem to help himself and has published yet another poetic work criticizing Israeli policy.

In his latest magnum opus, he praises, among other things, “A Hero in Our Time,” Mordechai Vanunu, who served 18 years in prison for espionage after betraying his country’s nuclear secrets to the Sunday Times of London.

By absoulte sheer amazing coincidence, Grass just released this work in a new book of poems yesterday appropriately entitled “Eintagsfliegen” (One-Hit Wonders) and in no way intended or intends to bring any unwarranted attention to himself and/or said book which can now be purchased online or at a bookstore near you.

And please remember: This is not, never has been nor never will be anti-Semitic abuse. Enlightened Germans (and all Germans are) don’t do that kind of stuff (anymore). This is freakin’ German Nobel Prize-winning author Gunter Grass we’re talking about here, people. For crying out loud.

In 2006, Grass admitted in an interview that he had joined the Waffen-SS as a teenager at the end of World War II, and was accused at the time of having hidden the truth for decades while at the same time pointing the finger at others for hiding their Nazi past.

Well I Thought It Was Real News, Too

September 28, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Ahmadinejad, Berlin, Gallup Polls, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Obama, Polls, Satire, The Onion Leave a comment

German news is reporting that Iranian news is reporting that American news is reporting that a Gallup poll is reporting how rural white Americans prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama.

Unfortunately (did I just write unfortunately?), this was just another satirical piece by The Onion. Dumb Iranians.

“I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.”

The Amazing Disappearing Political Party

September 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Chaos, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Political Parties, Satire, The Pirate Party, The Pirates Leave a comment

Who says that in-fighting and a complete absence of credibility, character, policy, tactics or strategy can’t get you anywhere? It got Germany’s Pirate Party to nowhere fast. So you better take one quick look at them while you still can.

They’re down to five percent in the polls at the moment, and sinking fast. But let’s move on now and just try to remember them for all the good things they accomplished while they were still here among the living (hell if I know, I thought you might have).

Die Piraten liegen einer neuen Umfrage zufolge nur noch bei fünf Prozent und müssen damit um den Einzug in den Bundestag bangen.

Oompah, Oompah, $12.30, Please

September 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Beer, Berlin, Drinking, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Munich, Oktoberfest, Partying, Rituals, Satire, Tradition 2 Comments

€9.50 ($12.30) for an Oktoberfest beer? And that in September?

Damn that must be good brew.

Before long, even the most hard-bitten cynics can’t help but climb up on a bench (dancing on tables is frowned upon) and belt out the lyrics of newly learned folk song.

Kraut ist Out

September 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Cliches, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nationality, Nations, Satire, Stereotypes 3 Comments

The new German national stereotypes are in! From the furious citizen to power Ossis, they’re everywhere these days. My personal favorite here is the Bio-Bourgeois (Organic Bourgeois).

“The German Organic Bourgeois still recycle their garbage, but donate about half the amount to charitable organizations that their British counterparts do. The Organic Bourgeois select their own green power providers, carry handmade linen shopping bags and drink their own favorite organic limonade brands, but that’s about it.”

Bio-Bourgeois recyclen ihren Müll, geben jedoch nur halb so viel Spenden für Wohlfahrtsverbände aus wie ihre britischen Pendants. Der Bio-Bourgeois sucht sich einen Ökostromanbieter, trägt eine handgemachte Leinentasche oder trinkt eine Bio-Marken-Limonade, aber mehr auch nicht.

Egalitarian German Society Does It Better

September 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Equality, Fairness, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Rich and Poor, Satire, Society, Wealth, Wealth Distribution Leave a comment

Or wasn’t that the impression you always got? It’s certainly the one you’re supposed to get.

Take wealth distribution, for instance: The gap between the rich and poor continues to grow in Germany. A report commissioned by the German government on poverty and wealth indicates that private net assets have risen sharply and are up to €1.4 trillion ($1.83 trillion), with the upper 10 percent of German households possesing more than half of the country’s wealth.

Crisis? What crisis? Boy I tell you, it’s a damned good thing that Germans are always there ready to pass on their valuable wealth distribution advice to us (as U.S.). I mean, it’s not like they’re ever going to need it or anything.

So asozial ist Deutschland.

What Are 20,000 Jobs?

September 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Coal-Burning Power Plants, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, Wind Energy 1 Comment

If they are being offered for the sake of Germany’s beloved Energiewende (energy turnaround), I mean (and if you’re not one of the 20,000, of course)?

There is a certain logic here. I think. First you phase out German nuclear power plants because of the Fukushima disaster in Japan (I still haven’t figured out this part yet), then you phase out thousands of Japanese jobs due to the loses incurred by the energy companies due to this hasty (as in immediate) phase-out.

Oops, sorry. I just took a closer look at the article. Those are German jobs that are about to be phased-out, of course. Duh. Look folks, I’m not a German energy turnaround expert here you know. Forgive me for the confusion. Technically, it’s not even mine. I’m just trying to pass it on as best I can.

Branche verliert durch Atomausstieg Geld – Eine Reihe von Studien hatte in früheren Jahren bereist festgestellt, dass der Netto-Effekt der Ökostrom-Subventionen auf dem Arbeitsmarkt bestenfalls Null ist.

Are We Having A Middle East Policy Yet?

September 16, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Foreign Policy, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Mayhem, Middle East, Muslims, Obama, Politics, Riots Leave a comment

Some German commentators argue that the violence shows that Obama’s Middle East policies have failed.

“US President Barack Obama’s Middle East policy is in ruins. Like no president before him, he tried to win over the Arab world. After some initial hesitation, he came out clearly on the side of the democratic revolutions. … In this context, he must accept the fact that he has snubbed old close allies such as Israel, Saudi Arabia and the Egyptian military. And now parts of the freed societies are turning against the country which helped bring them into being. Anti-Americanism in the Arab world has even increased to levels greater than in the Bush era. It’s a bitter outcome for Obama.”

“Obama was naive to believe that one only needed to adopt a new tone and show more respect in order to dispel deep-seated reservations about the free world. In practice, the policies of the Obama administration in the region were not as naive as they may have seemed at times, and the Americans have always been much more involved in the Middle East than the passive Europeans. But Washington has provided the image of a distracted superpower in the process of decline to the societies there. This image of weakness is being exploited by Salafists and al-Qaida, who are active in North Africa from Somalia to Mali.”

“One thing is clear: If jihadists believe they can attack American installations and kill an ambassador on the anniversary of Sept. 11, then America’s deterrent power has declined considerably. For a superpower, it is not enough just to want to be loved. You have to scare the bad guys to keep them in check.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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