Someone Needs To Finally Have The Decency To Tell The German Greens Which Country They Live In

May 17, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Green Shirts, Greens, Humor, Satire, Taxation, Taxes Leave a comment

When it comes to money matters, I mean.

Like I mentioned earlier, only in Germany can a political party go for (and actually get) votes by promising to raise taxes.

But I now stand corrected: (actually hope to get) is what I should have written. It turns out that not even do-gooder mainstream green-like German green people like the idea of increased taxes all that terrible much. At least not when the cameras have finally been turned off and they can answer a survey in peace and quite when the Green Shirt party watchdogs aren’t breathing down their necks.

Ever since the announcement of that wacky plan of theirs to raise the top rate of income tax to 49 percent for those earning 80,000 euros ($104,000) a year or more (and to 45 percent from 42 percent above 60,000 euros), voter support for them has dropped steadily.

I guess there’s GREEN in theory and GREEN in practice after all. And practice makes perfect, you know.

Die Grünen erreichen im Politbarometer nur noch 13 Prozent. Dass die Steuerpläne der Partei schaden, glauben 53 Prozent.

Euro Hawk Actually Euro Turkey

May 16, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, Drones, Euro Hawk, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Politics, Satire 4 Comments

Just when Germans thought that they could own a drone of their own, one of those fancy European-made Euro Hawk drone type drones, somebody finally did the math and figured out that the 508 million euros already spent for the prototype had already been more than enough already.

Now Germany is in talks with Israel on buying something called a Heron TP drone instead. I assume that the TP stands for Total Preiswert (totally inexpensive) and this is definitely the way to go because if you absolutely positively have to own killing machines that you will never ever use in a million years anyway, cheapness is what you want.

Berlin sucht den Drohnen-Depp!

Barbie Must Die

May 15, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Barbie, Barbie Dreamhouse Experience, Berlin, Berlin Alexanderplatz, Children, Demonstrations, Dolls, Feminism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, Protest, Satire, Toys Leave a comment

And the “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” must be wiped from our collective memory. And said dreamhouse must be razed to the ground, too. This is because Barbie is a clear and present danger and a real threat. At least here in Berlin it is.

And as far as I can tell, these are the German feministic reasons for this:

Everything is pink. Barbie and her Dreamhouse are a “pink-colored, sparkling world of beautiful illusion.”

There is an “endless” closet, cupcake baking kitchen, fashion runway and pop-star karaoke stage” inside (OK, I’m with them when it comes to this part).

The Dreamhouse gives “children the chance to taste the sweet nectar of life as a doll” and the protestors don’t like “pretty propaganda” like this.

They find it unfair that “not many women have the possibility of creating such a life for themselves.”

They think that Barbie is a role model that makes young girls want to “always look good, and to cook and clean.”

Barbie and her Dreamhouse “lead to eating disorders,” too.

And on and on and on. The head feminist, Michael Koschitzki, a member of the far-left Left Party’s youth organization, has spearheaded the protest movement against the Dreamhouse, printing thousands of flyers and calling on fellow feminists to gather outside for speeches and protest outside the temporary attraction on Thursday.

I’m speechless, almost. And I’m not making any of this stuff up, either. And these aren’t little girls cranking out this nonsense. These are real live feminist grownup human beings openly calling to picket a Barbie house, albeit a “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” kind of house, but still. And the worst part of all this? The Barbie Dreamhouse Experience will be charging adults €15 just to get in.

“Barbie has again become a tool for some to advance their own agenda.”

Mutually Assured Disillusionment

May 14, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Economy, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Europe, France, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Polls, Psychology, Satire, Surveys, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

And here you thought that the Germans could bitch and moan about Europe.

And boy can they ever. But the reigning Weltmeister of Whining is now suddenly getting some unexpected stiff competition from France, of all places (with Spain, Italy and Greece picking up speed in the griping department, too).

“No European country is becoming more dispirited and disillusioned (with Europe) faster than France,” according to a Pew Research Center report, released in Brussels and Washington. “The French are negative about the economy, with 91 percent saying it is doing badly, up 10 percentage points from 2012.”

France’s malaise with the European Union’s outlook is more similar to sentiment in Spain, Italy and Greece than it is to the mood in Germany, which is the only EU nation of eight surveyed where at least half the public backed giving more power to Brussels to deal with the economic crisis.

So let’s get with it already, Germany. This race ain’t near over with. We (as in you) can do this. When the going gets tough, the tough get moaning.

“Deutsche leben mental auf ihrem eigenen Kontinent.”

Speaking Of Gun Control…

May 12, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Autobahn, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Humor, Political Parties, Politics, Satire, Sigmar Gabriel, SPD, Speed Limits 2 Comments

Ever notice the emotional reaction you get whenever the subject is brought up (I’m talking about gun control in US-Amerika, of course)? The reaction from both sides of the argument, I mean? You know, these irrational, knee-jerk, pre-programmed reactions driven by fear and hate, totally devoid of logical or critical thinking (as is the case with other issues like abortion, religion, women’s rights, gay rights, etc.)?

And have you ever noticed how Germans like to sit back and smirk at these reactions from their expensive, comfortable and cushy seats way up there on the moral high ground? I know, you probably haven’t. But they do.

Well, take a look at what happens when a well-meaning SPD Gutmensch (do-gooder) suggests that a 120km/h speed limit be put on all German autobahns.

The whole country goes ape shit and that’s that. Punkt. Ende. Aus. “Debate” over in gefühlte (what felt like) five minutes. So I guess the only difference here is that there is no other side to the argument – as is/has been so often the case in Germany.

“Eine absurde, überflüssige Debatte.”

Where’s The Pointy Hat?

May 7, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Art, Communism, Garden Dwarves, German, Germans, Germany, Gnomes, Humor, Karl Marx, Marxism, Philosophy, Satire, Sculpture, Trier 3 Comments

A garden gnome or lawn gnome or in this case Karl Marx gnome is a figurine of a small humanoid creature, usually wearing a pointy hat, produced for the purpose of ornamentation and protection from evil sorcery, which is typically placed on front lawns or in gardens.These figurines originated in 19th-century Germany, where they became known as Gartenzwerg (garden dwarf).

Gartenzwerg should not be confused with Giftzwerg here, however. A Giftzwerg is a poison dwarf or a poisonous little man. Not unless you want to confuse the two, I mean.

“I want to inspire pedestrians to think about Karl Marx in a different way.”

Swabians In Berlin Soon To Be Wearing Yellow Mercedes Stars

May 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hate, Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Semitism, Berlin, Gentrification, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jews, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Left-Wing Terror, Nazis, Satire, SPD, Swabia, Swabians, The Greens, The Left Party 2 Comments

Remember that Nazi boycott of Jewish businesses in Berlin back in the bad old days with all those signs and scribblings about “Don’t Buy from Jews!” and the like? Of course you don’t.

But many from Berlin’s enlightened anti-gentrification left do remember and have now come up with the breathtakingly brilliant idea of introducing this same simple asymmetrical tactic against the “hated” Berlin Swabian community by spraying “Don’t Buy from Swabians!” on the walls around town, too.

The evil Swabians are hated here, you see, because they work hard and are successful and make lots of money (and the cliché goes that they’re tightwads, too, but that’s beside the point) and, through their very presence, therefore increase Berlin property values which is an awful thing to do because those of the enlightened left (like most other Germans) do not own property but prefer to pay rent instead and this pushes the rents up and laber, laber, laber (blah, blah, blah) been there done that.

There can be no losers in Germany in general and Berlin in particular, you see (it’s verboten or something). That’s why there are so many of them here, I guess.

Der anonyme Unmut regt sich gegen die Schwaben, weil sie angeblich die Besonderheiten des Stadtviertels veränderten und die Preise auf dem Wohnungsmarkt in die Höhe trieben. In Berlin leben schätzungsweise rund 300.000 Schwaben.

„Kauft nicht bei Schwab’n!“

Germans Bemoan Loaned Drones And Condone Owned Drones Instead

May 1, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Aircraft, Berlin, Drones, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Satire, Surveillance, Weapons 1 Comment

Drones aren’t so evil after all, it seems. As long as Germans are flying them, I mean.

A German Defense Ministry representative says that the US is ready to approve an official German request for three armed MQ-9 Reaper drone aircraft (formerly known as the “Predator B”) and four ground control stations, to be filed in May this year.

A Forsa survey released earlier in April suggested that only 12 percent of Germans supported the use of armed drones in all circumstances. A majority of 59 percent approved the idea, however, provided that the aircraft were only used to ward off clear and present danger.

Nur wenige Bundesbürger sind gegen den Einsatz. In einer Forsa-Umfrage für die Zeitschrift „Internationale Politik” sprachen sich 12 Prozent der Befragten für eine generelle Erlaubnis aus, 59 Prozent plädierten für einen Drohnen-Einsatz unter bestimmten Bedingungen, etwa zur Abwendung einer unmittelbaren Gefahr. Nur 27 Prozent der Bundesbürger wollen bewaffnete Drohnen generell verbieten.

Spring Is In The Air Right Now

April 30, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Capitalism, Berlin, Capitalism, Demonstrations, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Labor Day, May 1, May Day, Satire, Tradition, Violence 1 Comment

Here in Berlin. Just like the teargas will be tomorrow.

And if we’re really lucky, we’ll have a good old-fashioned senselessly violent “Antikapitalistischen Walpurgisnacht” (anti-capitalist Walpurgis Night) tonight, too!

So y’all have a wonderful German May Day celebration, ya-here (not established as a public holiday until 1933)?

In der Vergangenheit war es in Berlin in der Walpurgisnacht und am 1. Mai häufig zu gewalttätigen Ausschreitungen am Rand von Demonstrationen der linken Szene gekommen. In diesem Jahr wollen sowohl linke Gruppen als auch die NPD in Berlin demonstrieren.

Vote For Us And We’ll Raise Your Taxes (As In Their Taxes)

April 29, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Equality, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Humor, Justice, Political Parties, Satire, Taxation, Zero-Sum Fallacy Leave a comment

Ever feel like you fell down the rabbit hole? Spend some time in Germany and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Only in Germany can a political party go for (and actually get) votes by promising to raise taxes.

Delegates at a Greens party convention in Berlin yesterday voted through plans to raise the top rate of income tax to 49 percent for those earning 80,000 euros ($104,000) a year or more, and to 45 percent from 42 percent above 60,000 euros. They also backed a “wealth levy” on the richest to pay down 100 billion euros of Germany’s state debt over 10 years.

And a whole lot of German voters actually get excited about this kind of nonsense. It’s often a zero-sum mentality game over here, you see. You know, the way of thinking that hinges on the notion that there must be one winner and one loser and for every gain there is a loss? Take from the rich and give to the poor, in other words. Or Umverteilung (redistribution), if you prefer.

Of course what the Green Shirts are actually doing is selling “equality” where there is a huge demand and buying Neid (envy) where there is an even bigger supply.

“Nirgendwo in der OECD ist die Ungleichheit so schnell gestiegen wie in Deutschland.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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