Veggie Day Will Just Be The Start

August 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Cuisine, Elections, Food, German, Germans, Germany, Green Shirts, Greens, Humor, Ideology, Political correctness, Satire, Vegetarians, Veggie Day 4 Comments

If the Greens get their way, I mean.

Although most German works canteens (the place where most working Germans take in their main meal of the day) offer one vegetarian day per week voluntarily already, this is clearly not enough for certain of the more nervous elements pacing the floors at Green Shirt Campaign Headquarters. A federal election is coming up people, so it’s time for a little agitprop sommertime theater already (agitprop Sommerloch theater?).

Once in absolute control – uh, I mean after the coming election in September – the Greens apparantly plan to introduce legislation indroducing “Veggie Day” for the good of all of us, animals included, whether we like our veggies or not (most animals hate them). Like how Organic Bourgeois of them is that?

You see, it’s not like the Greens are into Bevormundung or anything (paternalism, condescension, tutelage, bureaucratic PC dictatorship, etc.). It’s just that they’re into Bevormundung.

One guy from the FDP put it well: “What’s next? Jute Shopping Bag Day? Bike Day? Green Shirt Day?”

“Man muss nicht jeden Tag zwei Burger essen.”

Tugendterror

June 9, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, Fast Food, Free Choice, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Living, Paternalism, Political correctness, Political Parties, Socialism, SPD, Taxation, Tutelage Leave a comment

Or “virtue/politically correct terror,” if you prefer. Even some Germans now (in this case Thea Dorn for Die Zeit – “Deutsche Sitten” – no link yet) have come to realize that those who might still prefer to have the right to choose for themselves are losing Lebensraum (their habitat) fast.

A German Opera house decides to cancel a production from their repertoire because several spectators needed medical attention (they were traumatized) after the premiere. A leading SPD politician openly discusses the possibility of limiting the speed limit to 120 kmh on German autobahns. The Greens specify in their party program to do away with the reduced value added tax rate currently granted for fast-food and to forbid the use of wild animals in circuses.

The German (or European) citizen who still expects to be able to decide for him- or herself on matters of this nature (whether to attend the opera performance or not, drive the speed he/she wishes on certain stretches of the autobahn, eat fast-food, etc.) is frowned upon ever more these days because, well, there are others out/up there more enlightened than him/her to make these decisions for them. This is the essence of socialist and/or Green thinking. This makes everything safe. And predictable. And correct sowieso (at the very least).

Autonomy means being able to assess what I can expect of myself and of my environment to put up with. Living means not letting myself be knocked down by injuries or setbacks. But how can I learn either of these things if our society becomes an omnipresent governess keenly taking care that her wards never get carried away?

How indeed. They don’t want you to get carried away. Or get away at all, for that matter, ever. That’s the point. Just curb your enthusiasm already and keep on voting for more tutelage.

Man kann sein Leben zu Tode verschwenden, andere zu Tode schinden. Wir sind dabei, uns zu Tode zu schonen.

First We Take Leipzig, Then We Take Berlin

June 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Academics, Berlin, Equality, Feminism, FU Berlin, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Political correctness, Professors, Sex, Women 1 Comment

That didn’t take long. After planning to introduce “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor at the University of Leipzig for both men and women professors, the FU Berlin is now thinking about doing the same.

Did Delta House dump some LSD in the faculty water cooler over here or something?

“All are equal in Leipzig. All women, that is.”

In Leipzig sind jetzt alle gleich, nämlich Frauen. Professoren gibt’s nicht mehr, nur noch Professorinnen, gemeint bleiben damit natürlich auch noch die männlichen Akademiker, die jedoch nur noch in einer Fußnote erwähnt werden.

Emasculation 101

June 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Feminism, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Leipzig, Political correctness, Professors, Sexism, Universities 2 Comments

If you have your doubts and worries about where your language is going in matters of political correctness, just be glad that you don’t speak German.

Squirming as everyone does these days to find a way to neuter anything and everything that can be neutered because, well, I’m still not quite sure why that is… The University of Leipzig has now made a very important contribution to this valiant endeavor, I think.

In German, calling a man a Professor and a woman a Professorin simply isn’t as geschlechtsneutral (gender-free) as it needs to be in this complex time we live in, it seems. That’s why the head smart folks what’s in charge of proper correct-type language usage here have decided to simply matters drastically. From now on Leipzig professors of either sex will be referred to as “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor.

I know, I know. You think that I’m pulling your leg and that this is some kind of a prank or a punk or whatever it is they call it these days, but it isn’t. Honest. It’s here. We’ve come a way long way baby. And this is where we are now.

Mit “Professorin” können somit künftig auch Männer gemeint sein, “Dozentinnen” umfasst sowohl männliche als weibliche Personen.

Cross Repels Left-Wing Politicians

March 10, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Christianity, Church and State, Crucifix, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Political correctness, Politics, Satire, The Green Shirts, The Left Party, Vampires Leave a comment

Left party and Green politicians have expressed outrage upon learning that Ilse Aigner (CSU), Germany’s Minister of Consumer Protection, has arranged that a so-called “crucifix” be hung on the wall of her ministry’s visitors’ room.

“Not only is this fauxpas a flagrant breach of the much cherished separation of church and state,” the visiting Green politician is said to have said upon discovering the cross, his horrible, unearthly scream cutting through the night as smoke began spurting from his pallid flesh right before the ghastly green creature twisted away in horror and half dove, half fell through the ministry’s crashing window, “But it also insults our secular values and fundamental way of living dead life.”

Frau Aigner has expressed openness with regard to removing the offensive Christian object but insists that she will not budge an inch should it come to further demands to remove the hundreds of garlic cloves or that bucket of holy water she holds ready at all times underneath her desk.

Hintergrund ist offenbar eine Beschwerde aus den Reihen einer Besuchergruppe der hessischen Grünen. Zwei Teilnehmerinnen drückten demnach in einem Brief an die Ministerin ihre “Verwunderung” darüber aus, dass in dem Besucherraum ein “den christlichen Glauben symbolisierendes Kreuz aufgehängt war”.

US-Amerika In Decline Yet Again

October 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debate Culture, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Journalism, Obama, Political correctness, Presidential Debates, Propaganda, Romney, Satire 2 Comments

Clearly disappointed in last night’s debate for some inexplicable reason, one leading German mind policeman has hurried to remind his countrymen that the United States is still, after all, a “global power in decline” which now appears to be “stuck in the Bush worldview,” whatever that is.

A buddy of his at the same German news organ also rushed to explain that President Obama, being a man of peace or something, did not want to have to fight and get all rude during the debates like he did but that the “unexpectedly close race” forced him to. I tell ya, life just ain’t fair sometimes.

With his centrist policies, Barack Obama tried to be a president for all Americans. But few in Washington were enthusiastic about his attempts to reach bipartisan compromise.

How Could He Have Said That?

June 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Civil Courage, German, Germans, Germany, Joachim Gauck, Political correctness, Politically Incorrect, The Bundeswehr, The Military Leave a comment

Boy oh boy, German President Joachim Gauck is in hot water with the German Left now. Bless his heart.

During a visit to something called the Leadership Academy for the Bundeswehr in Hamburg, he had the gall to demand “more openness” when it comes to Bundeswehr operations abroad.

He then had the nerve to say that there are once again German fallen (as in the soldier kind) no longer amoung us “who are hard to handle for those living in our pleasure-addicted society.”

And then he even had the chutzpah to say that violence can be “necessary and sensible when used to prevent violence itself.”

Needless to say, German lefties of all 57 varieties are now having a collective cow and lecturing him and the rest of us (I mean you) about how irresponsible such utterances can and must be whenever they come out of a German mouth. The same old same old, in other words.

You just can’t say stuff like this in Germany. It’s verboten. It’s taboo. And this guy says it anyway. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a President I like.

Schäfer nannte Gaucks “Äußerungen, um Opfer zu rechtfertigen, völlig falsch und fatal.”

An Old School German Intellectual Poetry Attack Par Excellence

April 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Democracy, Dictatorships, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Intellectuals, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Literature, Political correctness, Self-Defense, The Nobel Prize 3 Comments

Günter Grass has it all: That fat and sassy moral high ground he’s king of the hill of, that left-wing obsession for defending brutal regimes in the name of “world peace,” that Nobel Prize for literature and that SPD party membership book (I’m not sure which one gives him more legitimacy here).

But above all else, he’s got that which all successful peacenik artists and Künstler the world over must invariably have: That inability to keep their mouths shut when it comes to addressing issues they clearly know nothing about.

At the moment Grass is worried about how “the nuclear power Israel is endangering the already fragile world peace” (think Iran) and has written a shockingly predictable poem about it. It must be a real humdinger, too, but to be fair I must admit that I haven’t read it yet and most certainly never will because I’m waiting to read his poem about Iran’s threat to world peace first. I assume that he will publish that one next week, but you know what they say about when you assume things… Blah, blah, blah. Meet the new school. Same as the old school.

Israel currently has three Dolphin submarines from Germany – one half-funded and two entirely funded by Berlin – two more are currently under construction, and the contract for a sixth submarine was signed last month. Dolphin-class submarines can carry nuclear-tipped missiles, but there is no evidence Israel has armed them with such weapons.

Can We Have Them Back On International Men’s Day?

March 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Hotness, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bild, Bildzeitung, Feminism, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Newspapers, Nudity, Political correctness, Sex, Topless Women, Tradition 3 Comments

Oh yeah, I forgot. There’s no such thing as International Men’s Day.

So much for tradition. The emasculated male staff at Germany’s Bild newspaper not only gave the women employees the day off on International Women’s Day this Thursday, they must have had too much to drink afterwards, too, because later that day the crazy bastards announced that the paper would be removing its trademark pictures of topless women from the front page.

How sweet or something. Sickening sweet. Now 28 years and 5000 topless women later we, I mean you, will be forced to turn to page three if you want to see them again (and we all know who they are). I feel so disgusted. And degraded.

So this is like progress marching on?

“I’m pleased that the pictures have finally disappeared from the front of the paper but the question is how long it will stay away. It was very degrading but we will have to wait and see whether this is permanent,” said Monika Lazar, women’s spokeswoman for the Green party.

Degrading, lady? Hell yeah, it’s degrading. Why degrade these women by putting them on page three?

Nix Kebab For You!

July 22, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, PC, Political correctness, Satire 2 Comments

It’s witch hunt time again.

“Thilo Sarrazin, a member of Germany’s Social Democratic Party and author of a controversial book about Islam’s role in German society, has been chased from a Berlin kebab shop by angry Muslims, reports Der Spiegel.”

Renommierter Publizist will nicht für etwas ausgezeichnet werden, für das Sarrazin gemobbt wird.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Political correctness