Speaking Of Corruption…

As far as I can tell, there isn’t a German automobile company that isn’t involved in emissions manipulation. Or maybe this is just another misunderstanding/accident kind of thing again.

Daimler

Remember when Germany used to have a clean image? Me, neither. It has been a while now, hasn’t it?

Daimler faces a recall order for more than 600,000 diesel-engine vehicles including C-Class and G-Class models because of suspected emissions manipulation, German magazine Der Spiegel reported on Friday.

Auch Daimler soll bei Diesel-Pkw bei den Abgaswerten getrickst haben. Das Kraftfahrt-Bundesamt könnte einen Rückruf von über einer halben Millionen Autos anordnen.

German Of The Day: Vorschriften

That means regulations. You know, like the regulations that were “intentionally” ignored 97% of the time while asylum requests were being processed at the BAMF in Bremen?

BAMF

So much for German efficiency, again. And chalk one up to German corruption, while we’re at it. Again.

Larry the lawyer and his other lawyer buddies must be having a real heyday up there. By the way, how can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.

Anwälte bekamen 97 Prozent ihrer Asylfälle anerkannt.

German Of The Day: BAMF

That stands for Bundesamt für Migration und Flüchtlinge, which means the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees. It turns out they should have translated that as the Bureau for Asylum and Migrant Fraud, however.

BAMF

This is one of those tip of the iceberg stories, folks. Employees at Bremen’s BAMF have been accused of improperly granting asylum in 1,200 cases between 2013 and 2017 and now an investigation has been launched in which 18,000 additional successful asylum applications will be reviewed. In the meantime irregularities at other BAMF offices have come to light.

Internal email correspondence at the Bremen office has emerged in which an upper-level manager appears to be aware of this systemic problem but asks that an internal investigation be carried out in a “noiseless” manner.  Nor should “everything be examined down to the last detail.”

Same old same old, isn’t it? We’re from the government and we’re here to help.

Angeschrieben wegen möglicher Unregelmäßigkeiten in den Bremer Asylverfahren, habe der zuständige Abteilungsleiter des Bundesamts im Februar 2017 zwar eine Prüfung angeordnet, zugleich aber verfügt, dass diese „geräuschlos“ geschehen solle. Er wolle nicht, heiße es in seiner E-Mail, „dass alles bis ins Detail geprüft wird.”

German Of The Day: Bekömmlich

That means easily digestible, wholesome, beneficial to your health.

Beer

And these are bad things to call beer, a German court has ruled – even though bekömmlich also implies tastiness. Thanks, judge. Chalk another one up to political correctness.

The German Federal Court of Justice upheld a lower court finding that the word could not be used in advertisement for beverages containing more than 1.2 percent alcohol.

The German court said bekoemmlich, which does not have a direct English translation but would be something akin to “wholesome”, described more than the taste of the beer.

When used to describe food, it means that the product is easily absorbed and tolerated by the digestive system even alongside long-term consumption, the court said, adding that beer sometimes did cause health problems.

“The term ‘bekoemmlich’ is understood by the relevant public to mean ‘healthy’, ‘beneficial’ and ‘digestible’,” the court said.

The Iran Deal Is Not Dead

It just smells funny. At least that’s what Germany seems to think.

Iran

You see, spokesmen for German industry plan to call up Donald Trump and explain to him that the “US Iran call is illegal.” Then, once they’ve straightened that up with him, everything ought to be hunky dory, right? And they can go back to getting moola from the mullahs again.

They better hurry up, though. America’s new ambassador to Germany has only been in office for twenty-four hours and already has a really bad case of ITF (Itchy Twitter Finger).

For the past year, German officials have been urging their U.S. counterparts to send a new ambassador to Berlin. But after finally receiving one, many may be having second thoughts.

Within hours of assuming his new post on Tuesday, Richard Grenell triggered harsh criticism in this Trump-weary country after appearing to threaten one of the American president’s frequent targets: German businesses.

“German companies doing business in Iran should wind down operations immediately.”

“Germany Needs a New Approach to Deport Migrants?”

Yes, it certainly does. It ought to consider trying the so-called “deportation” approach I’ve heard tell about. You know, like actually deporting the hundreds of thousands that have already been turned down?

Deportation

Germany has a problem with migrants who have been denied asylum. Many of them don’t want to leave, and getting them to go is far from easy.

Last week, police in Ellwangen in the southwestern state of Baden-Wuerttemberg attempted to pick up a 23-year-old Togolese man at a refugee hostel to deport him to Italy, the country where he first crossed the border into the European Union. About 150 other Africans at the hostel wouldn’t allow it. They heavily outnumbered the 24 officers, and forced them to hand over the keys to the man’s handcuffs. The police had to retreat. They returned in force three days later and took the Togolese man away. Twenty-seven of the hostel residents are being held for rioting.

For 2016 and 2017, 406,153 people were denied asylum in Germany. In the same two years, only 49,300 people were deported or left “voluntarily” under pressure from authorities.

Get Your Popcorn Ready

It’s May Day in Berlin! And Berliners are big on tradition.

May

Tuesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

Berliner Polizei rechnet mit heftigen Krawallen – 5300 Beamte im Einsatz

That Was Close

Just in time, people. Brussels has just proudly and loudly announced that it plans to encourage and better protect whistleblowers in order to help them “bring light to scandals that would otherwise remain in the dark.” You know, like the Facebook thing, the Panama Papers, scandals like that. Or maybe like this one right down here?

EU

“Experts Strongly Suspect Corruption in the European Council.” Several members of the European Council are suspected of having taken bribes from Azerbaijan in exchange for political support.

Perfect. They really think these things through, don’t they? So now it’s time to step up to the plate and start shedding some light on this for us, European Council whistleblowers. But don’t worry. Brussels will protect you. Oh, I forgot. You are Brussels. Why, see? Then there’s even less for you to worry about.

“Es sollte keine Strafe dafür geben, das Richtige zu tun.”

Disproportionate Reporting Of Crimes Committed By Migrants In Germany?

I suppose that’s true, but not in the way you would think.

Media

There are “disproportionate,” near daily state TV and news reports that point their fingers at migrant perpetrators – by going out of their way not to point their fingers at migrant perpatrators. It’s an embarassingly simple code that everybody here was able to crack in no time.

By reporting, for instance, that “a man stabbed his daughter at a local shopping center” and refusing to give any names or indicating directly that the man was a German, everyone knows who this guy is, his background.

So, yes. Disproportionate it is. The number of crimes committed by migrants reported in the news, I mean. But you can see by the way these crimes are reported that the media is not making them up (for once?). They’re just covering them up.

The somewhat dubious concept of lawless areas in Germany has been promoted in no small part by disproportionate reporting of crimes committed by migrants and foreigners in popular media, particularly outlets like Bild.

PS: The first article I read made no indication as to who the perpetrator was. A later one did indicate – at the very bottom of the article – that father and daughter were Turkish citizens.

Columbia

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Sig Sauer

Because somebody has to admire them.

Looks like Sig Sauer might  get fined twelve million euros for illegally selling 36,000 handguns to Columbia.

Nach vier Jahren Ermittlungen gibt es eine Anklage gegen Sig Sauer. Eine Strafe von zwölf Millionen Euro droht: Der Waffenhersteller in Eckernförde soll über die USA illegal mehr als 36 000 Pistolen nach Kolumbien verkauft haben. Sig Sauer sieht sich «rechtskonform».