German Of The Day: Auftragsmord

That means a contract killing.

Auftragsmord

Germany Says Russian Officials Ordered Berlin Park Killing – Germany’s top prosecutor said Russian officials ordered the killing of a political opponent in a Berlin city park last summer, escalating tensions between the two countries.

“State entities within the central government of the Russian Federation gave the order to the accused to liquidate.”

What A Coincidence

Imagine that. “Racism on the rise in Germany” now too.

Racism

What would be the odds that Germany discovers racism is rising in Germany at the very same time US-Amerika discovers that racism is rising there? Like, right now. Suddenly. Simultaneously. Out of the blue, so-to-speak. It’s mind-boggling, don’t you think?

Unless, of course, racism – like fascism and all those other -isms out there – is ALWAYS rising. But that can’t be true. Otherwise this wouldn’t be considered a news article. It would be an artificial construct. It would be fake. And fake news is not allowed in Germany. It’s the law or something.

Recent statistics back up the protesters’ criticism and confirm a dismal trend: Racial discrimination has increased significantly in Germany.

According to the 2019 annual report presented Tuesday by the German Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency (ADS), the number of such cases reported in Germany rose by almost 10% to 1,176. They make up 33% of the cases dealt with by the agency. That is the largest share, and not for the first time: In 2016, it was already 25%. Since 2015, when 545 reported cases were listed, the number has more than doubled.

Germany To Subsidize Tesla

In a bold move to help the ailing German automobile industry, the German government will be spending billions of euros on subsidies for electric cars most likely manufactured by the American electric vehicle maker Tesla Inc. (Germans don’t do electric cars).

Tesla

Germany raised the incentives to buy electric cars and cut the sales tax on more fuel-efficient internal combustion engines (ICE), but increased taxes on gas guzzling SUVs and sports cars which will hit the profits of the big auto makers.

Wumms“ für Tesla und Nel. Geldregen für Wasserstoff und E-Auto – Daimler und Co stehen im Regen.

We’re All Going To Die!

So let’s go on a nice vacation first. It looks like Coronavirus is going to take a little longer than expected to wipe out the German race so Germans aren’t wasting any time getting their priorities straight.

Vacation

Coronavirus: Germany to lift travel ban for 29 European countries on June 15 – The German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas has confirmed that Germany will remove a travel ban on EU member states and some other countries from June 15. However, he stressed that this was not “an invitation to travel.”

“We must not let this lull us into a false sense of security.”

Anti-Racism Protests Spread To Beijing, Havanna And Pyongyang

Just kidding. But they have spread to Berlin and London, of course.

Protest

Clearly obsessed with the country they love to hate… Outcry over the killing of George Floyd has gone international, with people taking to the streets in Berlin and London to show solidarity with US protesters. In Germany, soccer stars wore T-shirts and knelt in support.

Not terribly original but, hey. It’s the thought that counts.

Austria Doing Germany’s Job Again

Frugality? Refusing to pay other countries’ debts? That was “old Germany.”

Austria

Now the Germans need a country like Austria to take care of the problem for them – just like the Austrians took care of Merkel’s migrant madness by closing their borders way back when.

‘Frugal four’ nations counter Franco-German EU initiative – Four EU countries have teamed up, rejecting Macron and Merkel’s persistent lobbying for a €500 billion rescue fund. Instead, they have their own scheme on how to save Europe from economic fallout amid the pandemic…

The four countries also indicated that they will neither agree to a mutualization of debt nor an increase in the EU budget. Their draft proposal was seen by the German Press Agency (DPA) on Saturday.

“Our objective is to provide temporary, dedicated funding through the EU budgetû and to offer favorable loans to those who have been most severely affected by the crisis.”

German Nuclear Power Plant Explodes

Just kidding. Hardy, har, har. Everybody knows Germans don’t have nuclear power plants anymore. Well, not many. One less now for sure.

Former German nuke plant towers demolished in morning blasts – The two cooling towers of a former nuclear power plant in southwestern Germany have been demolished in a pair of early-morning explosions whose timing was kept under wraps to prevent crowds from gathering during the coronavirus pandemic

Germans Were Skeptical About Vaccinations Before

Why should they trust them any more now? Should a vaccination against COVID-19 ever be available, I mean.

Vaccine

According to a French online survey of parents in five European countries, Germany has a relatively high proportion of people who refuse vaccinations, when compared with the other nations; nearly 3% absolutely refuse to have their children vaccinated. The German Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA) says that around 20% of the population is skeptical when it comes to vaccines…

Unlike in some EU countries, in Germany it has always been up to the individual whether they want to get a recommended vaccine.

“The idea that compulsory vaccinations will be carried out in the future is quite widespread among conspiracy theorists.”

Official Holiday In Berlin – “What Are We Celebrating On May 8?”

Officially, it’s the 75th anniversary of the city’s “liberation” (Befreiung) as World War II ended. They couldn’t call it “Boy Did We Ever Get Our Ass Kicked Day,” I suppose.

Liberation

Or  maybe you could say it’s a day to commemorate the biggest daylight savings time reset ever. It’s when all the clocks in Germany were set to “zero hour.”

May 8, 1945, was ‘zero hour’ for Germany in multiple ways – Adolf Hitler was merely ash among the rubble when World War II ended in Europe. The desolate aftermath was dubbed “zero hour” by Germans — a more prescient term than they realized, for it also paved the way to rebirth.

Feiertag in Berlin – Was feiern wir am 8. Mai?