We’re All Going To Die!

When the Brexit hits the fan, remember?

Brexit

It’s quite odd. Germans, notoriously nervous by nature, don’t seem terribly worried about Brexit these days at all. I guess there’s only so much you can worry about at any given time. Even if you’re a German.

Dead calm: Brexit not in top 10 of German businesses’ priorities – With five weeks to March 29th, Germans are worried – about everything but Brexit.

Commuters fear inner-city bans on diesel cars. Politicians are fighting over renovating – and digitising – German schools. Police are battling criminal Arab clans.

“I don’t know why Germany, all in all, is so relaxed about this.”

Our Energy Doesn’t Stink

But we need yours anyway, OK? Your nuclear and coal burning energy…

Energy

Merkel’s Government Looks Abroad to Keep Germany’s Lights On – Germany will rely heavily on neighboring nations in Europe to avert blackouts as it weans itself off coal over the next two decades, a senior government official said.

Europe’s biggest consumer of electricity is working to shut power plants fueled by both coal and nuclear energy that account for half of the nation’s generation capacity. Thomas Bareiss, a deputy economy and energy minister, acknowledged that retiring all those plants poses a challenge that may leave Germany reliant on imported electricity.

“It means thinking ahead and acting in concert in an already active cross-border market.”

Mexico

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week – this time with extra added suspended jail terms!

Mexico

Because somebody has to admire them.

A German court has handed suspended jail terms to two ex-employees of gun maker Heckler & Koch and fined the firm €3.7m (£3.2m) for illegal arms deliveries to Mexico.

The Stuttgart court acquitted three other H&K ex-employees.

H&K was found to have breached German arms export rules by shipping nearly 5,000 G36 assault rifles and smaller firearms to strife-torn regions.

Mexico is plagued by warfare involving drug gangs and paramilitaries.

Heckler & Koch muss wegen Ausfuhren von Gewehren nach Mexiko mehrere Millionen Euro Strafe bezahlen. Zudem wurden zwei Ex-Angestellte zu Bewährungsstrafen verurteilt.

Man Bites Dog

Just kidding. Dog shoots man.

Dog

And here the Germans are always accousing Americans of having way too lax gun regulations. Sheesh.

A court in Munich has refused a hunter’s legal claim to get his gun license back and be allowed to carry weapons. A loaded gun left inside his car two years ago was the start of his problems.

In November 2016, a German hunter was at a game reserve northeast of Dresden and talking to a passerby when his dog accidentally set off his gun from inside the car. The hunter was wounded in the arm. As a result, the hunter lost both his weapons’ license and his hunting permit, which authorities have refused to extend.

Must have had a dog hair trigger.

German Of The Day: Umerziehen

That means re-educate.

Umerziehen

And that’s what the “framing” expert at Germany state TV “Channel One” (ARD) has advised its employees to do. Viewers are in dire need of re-education.

Her secret “framing manual” indicates that the ARD is at war with its critics and private television channels alike, disruptive elements who refer to the ARD as “state TV,” criticize “compulsory fees” (they’re not compulsory, they’re a show of solidarity!) and “question the ARD’s relevance.” Gee, I guess she means me, too.

These disruptive elements don’t understand that the ARD is “guided by moral principles” and its own “moral necessity for social interaction” and not, like them, motivated by profit. The ARD doesn’t have to be motivated by profit, people. All Germans get taxed for this state supported media bias whether they’re viewers or not.

Isn’t that a nice smirk? Big Sister is watching. She wants you all to keep on watching, that is.

Die Arbeit der ARD, so heißt es, sei „von moralischen Prinzipien getragen“, überzeugt von der eigenen „moralischen Notwendigkeit für das gesellschaftliche Miteinander“ – während die „medienkapitalistischen Heuschrecken“ des Privat-TV nur dem Profit dienen würden.

How Could It Not?

Not win, I mean. This is the Berlin Film Festival, after all.

Berlinale

Argentine LGBTQ Sci-Fi Film Wins Berlin Festival’s Teddy Award.

That’s the Berlinale for you. If it’s not about LGBTQ Sci-Fi films it’s about politics. Or should I say other forms of politics?

Santiago Loza’s Brief Story From the Green Planet, an odd genre-mixer involving a trio of LGBTQ friends who discover an actual alien sleeping in the house of one of their late grandmother’s, won the Teddy Award for best LGBTQ film screening at the 69th Berlin International Film Festival.

The Berlin International Film Festival has always been a political stage for filmmakers, and the 69th edition is no exception.

Are You Feeling The Security Risk Yet?

European automobile tariff regulators?

Import

The U.S. Commerce Department is set to meet a Sunday deadline to deliver its recommendations to President Donald Trump on whether imported vehicles and parts pose a national security risk, and to outline options on how to address the issue, officials said on Thursday.

Trump would then have 90 days after Commerce’s recommendation to decide whether to impose tariffs…

Trump has urged the EU to drop its 10 percent tariff on imported vehicles. The U.S. passenger car tariff is 2.5 percent, while it imposes 25 percent tariffs on pickup trucks.

The Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, whose members include General Motors, Volkswagen AG, Toyota Motor Corp, has warned tariffs would boost imported car prices nearly $6,000 on average.

Deutsche Autobauer verstehen die Welt nicht mehr.

What Army?

Nobody wants to join Germany’s army.

Army

Germany’s armed forces are struggling to attract much-needed recruits, with the number of new soldiers joining the Bundeswehr falling to an all-time low last year. The shortages are an urgent challenge for the German military, which has tried to boost its strength and capabilities at a time of record-low unemployment, and against fierce competition from both the private sector and institutions such as the police.

The need to build up the Bundeswehr reflects at least in part the recent pressure from the U.S. and other allies to raise German defense spending to 2 percent of gross domestic product, in line with a longstanding commitment given by all NATO members. Berlin spent 1.2 percent of its budget on defense last year, a figure that is expected to rise to 1.5 percent by 2024. Still …

JUST 20,000 RECRUITS JOINED THE ARMED FORCES IN 2018, DOWN FROM 23,000 THE PREVIOUS YEAR, AND THE LOWEST IN THE HISTORY OF THE BUNDESWEHR.

No Job Losses Here

In Germany. Then everybody’s happy, right?

A380

The German government is not expecting widespread job cuts in Europe’s largest economy following Airbus’s decision to scrap production of the A380 superjumbo, the aerospace policy coordinator told Reuters on Thursday.

“We expect these jobs will largely continue to exist, working on different models such as the A350, the newest plane on the market, or the A330 neo.”

 

Let’s Celebrate Together In Berlin!

The German foreign affairs ministry sent representatives to Iran’s embassy in Berlin yesterday to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Iran

Iran is just a regular old country after all and Germany is everybody’s darling so, what’s the big deal? OK, the mullahs have been known to dabble in international terror now and again. And maybe that part about Tehran urging the destruction of Israel (the Jewish state) is a little over the top but Germans would never urge that kind of thing on their own, directly, so take a chill pill already. Keeping up good business, I mean, diplomatic relations is never a bad idea.

Doch warum schickte die Bundesregierung einen Vertreter zur Revolutionsfeier eines Terrorregimes in dessen Botschaft?