The Party Is Already Over?

For the Pirate Party in Germany, I mean?

Sheesh. Even I thought it would take them longer than this to roll over and die. But the latest Emnid poll shows that their popularity (or lack of it?) has rapidly dropped to the lowest level since March (8 percent compared to their all-time high of 12 percent).

But hey, what can you expect from a party with an ex-boss who advises voters not to vote for them anymore.

Auf die Frage „Sollen wir die Piraten wählen?“ würde er inzwischen mit „Nö, lassen Sie es lieber bleiben“ antworten. Er sei von der Bilanz der Fraktion „immens enttäuscht.“

Our Debt Still Doesn’t Stink

German government debt keeps climbing relentlessly higher and reached an all-time high during the first three months of this year. The federal, state and local governments then reached a debt to the tune of 2 trillion euros.

That was 2.1 percent or 42.3 billion euros higher (deeper?) than  in the previous year’s quarter, reported the Federal Office of Statistics in Wiesbaden on Monday.

Now if only Greece and Co. could learn to control their government spending like the Germans do. Oh, wait. They already have. Or do. Or whatever.

Deutschlands Staatsschulden auf Rekordhoch gestiegen

I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots And Your Motorcycle

Is it termination time yet? For the booming German economy, I mean?

The Spiegel says: German manufacturing activity has hit a three-year low and export orders have also seen a big drop. This data suggests that the crisis is starting to hit the previously robust German economy.

Hasta la vista, baby? Maybe.

German Solar Energy Industry Tanks, German Tanks Don’t

Unable to compete in the global market without the subsidy drug, state-ordained “energy turnaround” or not, Germany’s solar energy industry is getting eaten alive by cheap Chinese imports as we speak, so-to-speak.

“Ah, screw it,” German industrialists elsewhere in the country say to that. “We’ll just keep making a killing producing what we’ve always produced best: War technology. Tanks, Saudi Arabia!”

“But it’s not like we don’t continue to support the Arab Spring or anything,” another tankful German industrialist added ruefully.

German paper says Saudis want 600-800 tanks.

What Do Sinking South Pacific Islands Have To Do With Germany?

Nothing. Other than “tectonic shifts” made me think of “Teutonic shifts” (which don’t happen nearly as regularly). And this article I’m writing about was originally in German and published on Spiegel Online. And of course that Germans are all so terribly concerned about how South Pacific islands are sinking due the disastrous effects of rising sea levels caused by climate change.

Or are they?

And I also just felt like pondering hype and hysteria again, so popular here and everywhere else around the world and how folks just want and need to be scared and alarmed and in crisis mode all the time even when (especially when?) they don’t need to be. Anyways, said article starts off like this:

Environmentalist organizations have used images from South Pacific islands to illustrate the disastrous effects of rising sea levels. But a group of French researchers has found that the problem is much more complicated: The islands are also being pulled under by shifting tectonic plates.

Things are more complicated than we think, you see. Or more simple, I mean. There, that was it. I feel better now.

Momombo wako (the white man from the big island)!” Or “Momombo wackos (environmental terror mongers from elsewhere)!” if you prefer.

Bonds, German Bonds

That’s the thing about a crisis: There’s always a winner, too. Take the euro crises, for instance. And the demand for German bonds these days.

Demand for German bonds, seen as the safest haven in the euro zone, has pushed Berlin’s borrowing costs so low that some investors are effectively paying Germany for the privilege of lending it money.

Damn. This gives German bondage a whole new meaning.

Low interest rates on German bonds are translating into billions in savings. Now economists have calculated that the country should be able to balance its budget by next year — something that is likely to increase criticism of Germany’s crisis management.

…The perception that Germany is benefiting financially from the crisis while imposing strict austerity measures on countries in southern Europe is unlikely to win many friends for Chancellor Angela Merkel, who is already highly unpopular in countries such as Greece.

Speaking Of Presidents… You Call This Being “Increasingly Disillusioned” With Obama?

Well, there’s disillusion and there’s disillusion.

A new survey indicates that German disillusionment with the US president is “widespread.” Wow, like what a surprise or something. Even the Germans catch on eventually.

But wait, please look a little closer. The real news story has to do with the numbers behind this so-called disillusionment. “Disillusionment with Obama” over here means:

Nevertheless, they (the Germans) still have overwhelming confidence in Obama’s overall international leadership. In fact, at 87 percent, Germans are the most supportive in Europe… And nine out of 10 Germans want to see Obama re-elected.

Huh? OK. Unbelievable as usual. It never ceases to amaze me. In a nation so openly sensitive to the concept of Gleichschaltung (enforced political conformity, as in the Third Reich kind), how can you get more gleichgeschaltet than that?

In retrospect, hopes for an Obama presidency were unrealistically high, especially among Europeans.

Where Have All The Exports Gone?

The ones that used to go to the euro zone, I mean. Wo sind sie geblieben?

German imports tumbled at their fastest rate in two years in April and exports fell, adding to evidence that Europe’s largest economy is beginning to feel the chill from the euro zone debt crisis.

Hey, I’m all for austerity, too, Germany. But when your European partners are too austere to buy your German products, what happens then?

That’s when Plan B kicks in (the German master plan is well thought out, you know, the diabolical #!?§#!s): Exports to non-EU markets are now on the rise.

“German companies feel that foreign demand isn’t as dynamic as it used to be as the global economy is entering a weaker phase. The weakness originates in the euro area, where the debt crisis can no longer be felt only through budget cuts and austerity but increasingly creates uncertainty about economic prospects, which is reflected in weaker investment.”

Sex, Smokes, Alcohol…

More sex, and then maybe some soccer at one point.

Yup, it’s time for Euro 2012. And the German team is ready to get it on, so-to-speak. German Manager Joachim Löw is taking a more relaxed approach to his squad this time around as his players will be allowed to “drink, smoke, tweet and mix with their girlfriends” during the Euro 2012 competition.

But he is still a German, after all, so Ordnung muss sein (it must be orderly). Conjugal visits in the team hotel will be limited to specific times.

Germany may not win Euro 2012, but they’ll have the most fun there.

Ozone Hole Fixed Or Something

Now there’s a hole where the ozone hole used to be. No hole at all, I mean. Boy, I tell ya. Times sure are getting pretty unholey when you can’t even count on ozone hole hype anymore. The damned thing just up and disappeared altogether the other day.

Personally, I think German scientists at the Alfred Wegner Institute (and elsewhere) are behind it, but none of the hard evidence is in yet.

Nun jedoch sagen Forscher des Alfred-Wegener-Instituts für Polar- und Meeresforschung: Das Loch ist wieder zu.