I Just Had To Look

Having read the book…

Movie

Not. If it weren’t for Corona, I’d go watch Corona – The Movie. I mean, if it were a movie that acutally existed and all that.

‘Corona – The Movie’ is our project. First we need the kind of director who nails the son of a bitch, a guy who will not rest until the virus is turned into lasagna, in its own movie. We need a director who rocks big-time, a man whose name is Martin Scorsese.

The Cast?

Mrs. Corona: Balle Herry
The bad virologist, Professor Pandemia C. Galore: Sigourney Beaver
The good virologist, Professor Vacuna Matata: Sandra Bullocks
The protective mask: Jim Carrey
The individual on the respirator: Brad DiCaprio
The narrator: Bernie Sanders
The arrogant ICU doc: Harrison Dodge
The helpful nurse: Angela Merkel
The Sheriff: Clint Westwood

The Plot? Who cares.

The End Of Amerika Again

And again and again and again.

Amerika

In this episode we die of coronavirus. Stay tuned for the next one.

How Trump Is Fueling a Corona Disaster – Donald Trump’s disastrous crisis management has made the United States the new epicenter of the global coronavirus pandemic. The country is facing an unprecedented economic crash. Are we witnessing the implosion of a superpower?

“German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. The reasons are psychological. The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.”
– Jan Fleischhauer (a German journalist who used to work for Der Spiegel itself)

PS: The quality of Spiegel journalism should never be placed in doubt.

Scientifically Correct?

Perhaps. But who cares? It’s politically incorrect. Angie says something else.

Heinsberg

A virologist from the University of Bonn is using the hard-hit region of Heinsberg, Germany, as a living laboratory to study the coronavirus

The death rate in the district is five times lower than what has been recorded by Johns Hopkins University as the national average, according to the German newspaper Die Welt.

Only 44 people — or 0.37% of people who lived in the district — have died from the disease…

Streeck went on to say that though the virus could “live” on various surfaces for up to seven days, he believed there was little chance that someone could become infected via surfaces, contradicting both the Center for Disease Control and National Institute of Health guidelines…

“There is no significant risk of catching the disease when you go shopping. Severe outbreaks of the infection were always a result of people being closer together over a longer period of time.”

German Of The Day: Wildwest-Methoden

That means “Wild West methods.”

SPD

What it really means is US-Amerika sucks. As usual. Yawn. That the German on the street is anti-American while vehemently denying being anti-American is certainly nothing new but whenever German politicians openly spread fake news allegations about evil Amerikan intentions just to play to the crowd – and everybody bends over backwards not to notice afterward – that still surprises me.

In this case it was Berlin’s red-redder-green city government with Interior Senator Andreas Geisel (SPD) in the lead role.

When face masks for the Berlin police that were supposedly ordered in China and shipped over Thailand never arrived here Geisel ranted in a press statement that the Americans had confiscated them and redirected the shipment to the USA using their “wild west methods” in an act of “modern day piracy” and that the German federal government needed to take action here immediately. None of this ever happened, of course. Just as there will be no consequences for this guy now. Other than he’ll maybe get a raise. It’s a natural instinct, folks. It’s just what Germans and German politicians do.

Als angeblich in China bestellte, über Bangkok nach Berlin verfrachtete Schutzmasken für die Berliner Polizei nicht ankamen, wetterte Geisel in einer Presseerklärung: Die USA hätten die Ware für sich konfiszieren, umleiten lassen – „Wildwest-Methoden“ und „Akt moderner Piraterie“, wütete der Innensenator. Die Bundesregierung müsse eingreifen!

German Of The Day: Fehlbesetzung

That means the wrong choice, as in choosing the wrong person. Well, at least the voters didn’t choose her.

Ursula

Hey, Ursula von der Leyen ruined the German Bundeswehr. She has a proven track record. That’s how she got her raise to ruin what’s left of Europe in the first place. She never had to run for election, folks. Backroom politics at its best. Why should she? She was one of Angie Merkel’s girls. Is anybody really surprised by any of this?

In the midst of the deepest crisis Europe is desperately seeking leadership. The new Commission President is proving to be weak in every respect.

Inmitten tiefster Krisen sucht Europa händeringend nach Führung. Die neue Kommissionspräsidentin erweist sich in jeder Hinsicht als schwach.

I’m One Of Your Biggest Fans!

A monster fan, even.

Fans

Tear gas hits the fan during clashes on Greek-Turkish border – Greek border units trying to stop crowds of migrants from pushing their way in from Turkey have hit on a new defense against tear gas unleashed on them from the Turkish side of the frontier — monster fans

Flüchtende zünden Brandsätze, griechische Grenzbeamte lenken Tränengas und Rauch in ihre Richtung.

German Of The Day: Humbug

That means humbug. Only it’s pronounced hoomboog. This is German, after all.

Humbug

Germans don’t know who she is yet. Geez. Are they always the last to know?

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. That means Naomi Seibt from Münster says the climate change is humbug.

The rest of the article, as you can imagine, explains how this “controversial international star” (from Germany) is a bad thing. Person, I mean. Pronounced purrsown.

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. Damit ist sie international zum umstrittenen Star geworden – auch wegen ihrer Affinität zur politischen Rechten. Wer ist diese 19 Jahre alte Frau?

A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.

Ha, Ha, Ha

“Few Germans afraid of coronavirus?” They “feel the country’s health officials have the situation under control?”

Corona

Which Germany are you referring to? Talk about fake news – brought to you tonight from German state TV channel ARD. Please remember this when you read up on Germany and the coronavirus again in a few weeks. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly and abruptly the rosy numbers they are publishing here can change.

Few Germans afraid of coronavirus – Most Germans are not overly worried about the coronavirus outbreak and feel the country’s health officials have the situation under control. But they’re more divided on accepting refugees and Germany’s political makeup.

German Of The Day: Reiche Erschießen

That means “shoot the rich.”

Nothing new, of course. But it is kind of odd that we are hearing this suggestion TODAY and that it’s coming from a member of a “harmless” political party German voters routinely turn a blind eye to – a blind left eye, by the way: The Left Party. You know, the successor party of the East German Communist SED? It is currently forming state governments all over the Mystical German East as we speak, by the way.

“The energy turnaround is also necessary after a revolution. And even after we’ve shot that one percent of the rich it will still be the case that we will need to heat our homes, that we will need a means of transportation.”

“Energiewende ist auch nötig nach einer Revolution. Und auch wenn wir das eine Prozent der Reichen erschossen haben, ist es immer noch so, dass wir heizen wollen, wir wollen uns fortbewegen.”