And let’s get it over with as soon as possible.
Time to say goodbye already.
While his fifth and final official trip to Europe’s biggest economy is expected to cover global crises, one of the headline goals is to advance negotiations on what could become the world’s biggest free trade agreement.
Get it? Nation?
And you thought you had it bad where you live (and of course you do) but here in Germany one out of every three Germans gets discriminated against regularly.
That’s right. Germans just don’t like Germans and they refuse to treat them fairly. They treat them like second-class citizens, which, in a way, well, they are. But so are the other two-thirds so why just pick them out to be treated like Dreck (dirt) like that? It just ain’t fair.
And the latest numbers (see the graph in the article) show that Germans get treated like Dreck whether it is at work or at play or while shopping or over at the courthouse or in the hospital or at school or in the media or even on the Internet. Like right here, for example. They just don’t get no respect.
But don’t worry because these Germans have had it up to here and are now going to start taking each and every one of each other to court about this, without discrimination. I mean indiscriminately.
“Es muss endlich möglich sein, Betroffene vor Gericht effektiv zu unterstützen – wie es in vielen anderen europäischen Ländern längst möglich ist.”
So like, it doesn’t even qualify as a sex bomb?
German police called to the scene of a suspected bomb could breathe a sigh of relief when the feared explosive device turned out to be a sex toy…
Three explosives experts of the Office of Criminal Investigation in the state of Saxony-Anhalt were called in to defuse the ‘bomb’
However, when the bomb squad examined the bin, they found that the explosive device was in fact a battery-powered vibrating penis ring.
Two men in the squad, Dick und Doof, answered the ring, saying “Hallo? Hallo?” but were unfortunately unable to determine just who had placed the call.
Aus Sorge vor einem Sprengsatz evakuierte die Polizei die Spielothek sowie umliegende Geschäfte, brachte etwa 90 Menschen in Sicherheit und sperrte eine Straße.
No, not Wut-Bürger (enraged citizen). Wut-Burger (Angriest Whopper), from Burger King. For enraged citizens, of course.
Talk about your Umsatz (sales). They’re going to be going through the roof. Just like all of the Wut-Bürger out there who are going to be ordering these things – available tomorrow!
So like take a chill pill already, folks. Or, better yet, have a relaxing refreshment along with your order. “Would you like a supersize beer with that Wut-Burger, Mr. Wut-Bürger?”
Der Wut-Bürger ist seit Monaten in aller Munde – aber einen Wut-Burger, den hat die Welt noch nicht gesehen.
“We paid our taxes, we paid our wages, we have done what every other company does with its investments.” Then what are you whining about, you fools? That just makes it all the more obvious that you must be punished.
Power firms brought a legal challenge on Tuesday against a German government decision to shut down the country’s nuclear plants by 2022, a lawsuit that could allow them to claim 19 billion euros ($21 billion) in damages.
The decision deprived the utilities of one of their main sources of profit and pitched them into crisis as the focus moved to renewables and electricity prices tumbled.
“Wir sind als Bundesregierung sehr zuversichtlich, dass unsere Rechtsauffassung obsiegen wird… Die Kernkraft war von Anfang an hoch umstritten. Es musste jederzeit mit der Möglichkeit einer Neubewertung gerechnet werden.”
Am Trumpsten means “the most Trump-like” in German. Well it does now. I just made that up. That’s the cool thing about German. You can make up words right and left (in this case right?) and no force in the universe can stop you.
Anyway, it’s state election time in Germany today and Germany has a Trump-like problem. Germany’s Trump-like problem: Right-wing, anti-foreigner movement poised for big election win.
The problem has the same root cause the American Trump-like problem has, too. Nobody “up there” takes the worries of these folks “down here” seriously, particularly with regard to the refugee crisis. It’s time to dish out some punishment, see? This anger won’t lead to anything constructive, of course, but nobody who votes for the Trumps of this world thinks that far ahead or very much cares. Get your popcorn ready. It’s gonna be ugly.
„Die AfD könnte deutlich besser abschneiden als erwartet.“
Well, not really. Actually, none of it has. But still.
Let’s see… The reactor is under control – still. There are no cancer deaths or deformed babies to report after the radiation in Japan. Not one. The UN (UNSCEAR) even predicts that there will be no significant increase in the cancer rate in the area at all. The exclusion zone around Fukushima keeps getting smaller and smaller. Japan is not saying no to nuclear energy. Im Gegenteil (on the contrary): After a short break, Japan has returned wholeheartedly to nuclear energy. France and America never contemplated doing away with nuclear energy. Of all the countries that have access to nuclear energy, only Germany has taken such drastic action.
By the way, the fish in the waters around Fukushima have no more higher level of radiation than the fish found in the North Sea. Put that in your Spiegel and smoke it.
But the Atomausstieg (nuclear phase-out) – in Germany – was certainly worth it (this is what Germans still repeat to themselves before going to bed each night).
Well, maybe “worth it” isn’t quite the right term to use, taking into account the outrageous wind and solar energy subsidies that have driven/are still driving energy prices up through the roof here in Germany. But other than that, though, everything seems to be going to plan.
I’ve just got to ask: Are these the same people who planned Germany’s refugee policy, too?
Japan auf Jahrzehnte verseucht, Hunderte verstrahlt, Unzählige an Krebs gestorben. So stellte man sich die Folgen von Fukushima vor. Doch vieles ist anders gekommen.
Coffee capsules. They’re colorful. They’re deadly. And they must be stopped.
According to German green scientists, these throwaway capsules produced “a mountain of garbage consisting of 5000 tons of aluminum and plastic” in 2014 alone. They refused to say where this mountain was located, however. The mountain is neither here nor there, folks. The important thing is that these capsules must be combated by introducing a so-called “deposit system” or “environmental tax,” two radical new German green ideas never yet tried before. It will be tough. And expensive. And annoying as hell. But we can only hope that their efforts will once again save our planet in time.
In Deutschland wurden dem “Spiegel” zufolge 2014 fast drei Milliarden Kaffeekapseln verbraucht. Das entspreche einem Müllberg von etwa 5000 Tonnen Aluminium und Plastik.
To grasp this trauma (the refugee crisis) it helps to understand the German zeitgeist that developed (mainly in the former West Germany) in the post-war years, and lingered in the reunited country. Germans call it Heile Welt. The term means something like “wholesome world”, and describes an orderly, idyllic state. It may connote the nurturing environment parents create for their children to protect them from life’s ugliness, or a private oasis of peace amid public chaos. It was a state of mind that Germans clung to after the second world war…
Foreigners were allowed into this Heile Welt, but not entirely accepted. To man its assembly lines, Germany invited workers from southern Europe and especially Turkey. The millionth arrived in 1964 and got a motorcycle as a gift. By the time the programme ended in 1973, 4m foreigners lived in West Germany. But they were called “guest workers” rather than immigrants, on the premise that they would ultimately leave again. Unsurprisingly, most stayed. Yet mainstream Germany continued to see itself as ethnically homogenous—a Heile Welt in a tribal sense…
Gnomic wisdom: Some Germans react by fleeing into ever tinier Heile Welten. “We are becoming ever more like our garden gnomes.”
