9,999,999 Foreigners Living In Germany Now

A round 10 million counting me.

Foreigners

When is somebody finally going to do something about this already?

There are only 80 million Germans here, by the way. Tendenz sinkend (going down). But don’t mind them. They’re on their way out for a reason. I don’t know what it is but there must be some reason they’re on their way out.

More than half of residents living in the German city of Frankfurt have a migrant background, according to new statistics. Figures show 51.2 per cent of people living there are either non-German, German citizens born abroad or Germans who are the children of immigrants.

PS: At least some Germans are trying to fight back by making more babies.

Facebook’s Behind It

Never having been a country with anti-Jewish sentiment issues before, German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier, aka Schlafmütze (sleepyhead), just did a little research and was shocked to discover that those awful American social media companies are the reason for the increased anti-Jewish sentiment in Germany today.

Facebook

“Social media often propagates the spread of hate messages and antisemitic provocation,” Steinmeier said, noting that the trend is growing across Europe. Except in Germany, of course, because trend isn’t really the right word for it here. Thanks to social media, he reiterated.

 

“German wedding traditions you’ll want to adopt”

1. Men marry women (or vice versa).

Marriage

2. Then they raise a family together.

The other traditions aren’t all that interesting, I find.

In an absolutely, positively and purely political move she has perfected over the years (to take the wind out of her opponent’s sails in the coming election by suddenly doing 180 degrees and making their stand her own)… German Chancellor Angela Merkel has opened the door to a free vote in parliament on legalising same-sex marriage, after signalling a shift in her party’s position on it. Mrs Merkel surprised the German media by saying she favoured a “decision of conscience” on gay marriage. Her conservative Christian Democrats (CDU) have previously opposed it – unlike the rival Social Democrats (SPD), Free Democrats (FDP) and Greens.

German politicians, like politicians everywhere, are always talking to you about their principles. This is a prime example of what they mean by that.

All The Secret Code That’s Fit To Print

Forget about the lying press. Now some German media have taken it to a new level and publish their news reports using a secret code. Everybody here knows the code, however, so it’s not much of a secret. But still.

250

Here’s an example: 250 “people” obstruct a police operation in Duisburg. The cops in Duisburg wanted to check the papers of some guy involved in a traffic violation. The situation escalated, however, ending up with a gang of 250 “people” assembling and interfering with this police action.

Let me decode that for you: Germans don’t assemble in groups like that to interfere with cops investigating some traffic violation. Ergo, other people who now live in Germany do. Not one word can be found in that article indicating that, of course, but your everyday Germans on the street have become such experienced code breakers that they know the deal as soon as they read the headline. Nobody’s lying though, see?

Etwa 250 Menschen haben der Polizei zufolge eine Verkehrskontrolle gestört.

World’s Largest Publicly Funded Broadcaster Squeamish About Showing Documentary On Antisemitism

Because, well, that would be too unpleasant for the public being made to do the broadcaster’s  forced funding to have to face.

Israel

Germany’s state-run television channel ARD recently decided not to air a documentary it had itself commissioned concerning the latest outbreak of antisemitism in Europe and the Middle East because the people doing the film apparently did this job much too well (after enough noise was made about this decision the ARD had to broadcast it anyway).

This could trouble viewers in a country where at least 40% of its citizens hold anti-Israel, antisemitic views. Or so the reasoning must be. ARD documentaries propagating negative views about Israel get aired here all the time, however. This having to do with balanced journalism or something. Or so the reasoning must be.

Anti-Zionism is not a legitimate political position, but rather a movement against the Jewish and democratic state. It is Antisemitism 2.0.

PS: Meanwhile… The latest boycott Israel campaign from BDS seems to be making great strides forward here in Berlin. It is unclear at this point whether the ARD will be commissioning a documentary about this campaign or not.

My Guess Is Argentina

US authorities have issued international arrest warrants for five former VW managers and developers for their role in the Dieselgate scandal.

VW

Nobody in Germany can seem to find them so, you know, just put two and two together. No, that doesn’t make five. But it comes close.

Under the constitution, German citizens can only be extradited to other European Union countries or to an international court. But leaving Germany could pose the risk of being extradited to the United States from a third country.

Erwartbare Konsequenz.”

More Friends Don’t Spy On Friends Again

It just isn’t done. Go ask Angela Merkel.

Spy

So that at least explains why the Germans have been spying on us (as in U.S.) for years and years now.

Germany’s foreign intelligence service long spied on numerous official and business targets in the United States, including the White House, Spiegel weekly reported Thursday. The magazine said it had seen documents showing that the intelligence service, the BND, had a list of some 4,000 so-called selector keywords for surveillance between 1998 and 2006.

Zwischen 1998 und 2006 soll der BND demnach knapp 4.000 Suchbegriffe, sogenannte Selektoren, in seinen Datenbanken verwendet haben, die auf amerikanische Ziele gerichtet waren. Dazu sollen Telefon- oder Faxnummern sowie E-Mail-Adressen im Weißen Haus, im US-Finanzministerium und im US-Außenministerium gehört haben. Der BND wollte zu dem Vorgang o¨ffentlich keine Stellung nehmen.

 

This Will Never Work Here

A neighborhood social network called Nextdoor where local residents (some call the neighbors) actually communicate with each other? Like, in a friendly way? In Germany?

Nextdoor

You’re wasting your time, folks. Germans hate their neighbors and are in a constant state of warfare with them. I know you think I’m joking here but I’m sad to say I’m not. Better luck next time. And keep an eye on your apple tree, pall. It’s about to grow over my side of the garden fence.

Oddity 367. Germans don’t naturally get along with their neighbors very well. Suing neighbors is not at all uncommon here. One of the reasons for this is that Germans like to mark off their territory. Disputes about territorial claims are inevitable. That’s why you often see people’s back yards completely fenced off or hedged in like small fortresses. Of course another reason for these disputes is that Germans just like to argue and are very litigious in general.

“Wenn du deinen Hund verlierst, können dir Online-Freunde ihr Mitgefühl zeigen, aber deine Nachbarn helfen dir bei der Suche.”

Massive Logistical Move Could, Should And Will Take Months

Transferring six (6) aircraft from Turkey halfway around the world to Jordan is anything but an easy logistical problem to solve.

War

Not if you are the German army, it isn’t. A move of this magnitude has to be carefully planned and cautiously implemented (not to mention cautiously planned and carefully implemented), otherwise something could go wrong because, well, only one or two of these damned planes actually fly.

And this is war, after all.

Last month, Ankara blocked a German parliamentary delegation from visiting Bundeswehr troops at the base, marking the second time that Turkey had done so. Turkish officials said their decision was a response to Germany granting asylum to Turkish military personnel accused of participating in a failed coup last year – a move that reportedly enraged Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

PS: Brought to you by the same people who gave us The Flight of the Phoenix?

European Gazprom Lobby Outraged By US Senate Bill

A US Senate bill aimed at toughening sanctions on Russia has been slammed by leading members of the European Gazprom lobby as a dirty American trick to promote bad American liquefied petroleum gas and squeeze out good Russian gas from the European market.

Gazprom

The two outraged Gazprom spokespersons, German foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) and German chancellor Angela Merkel, reminded the Americans that “Europe’s energy supply is a matter for Germany, that is, Europe to decide and not for the United States of America! We, as Germans, would never put our own economic interests before those of other countries or continents so like stop doing it immediately already. Did I just say we, as Germans? I meant we, as Europeans, of course.”

Ex-Kanzler Gerhard Schröder (SPD) leitet den Verwaltungsrat des Unternehmens Nord Stream II, das dem russischen Energiekonzern Gazprom gehört. Kürzlich erst hatten sich Gabriel, Schröder und der russische Präsident Wladimir Putin am Rande des russischen internationalen Wirtschaftsforums in St. Petersburg getroffen. Schröder hatte auf dem Forum für den Bau der Nordstream-Pipeline geworben.