German Of The Day: Multikulti

November 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: AfD, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Political Parties, Politics 2 Comments

That means multiculti, as in multicultural. And this is a word that is suddenly “out” for Angela Merkel’s CDU, for some inexplicable reason.

But to compensate for the loss, Modernisierungsverlierer (modernization losers) is now officially “in” with them. And just in case you were wondering, we are once again moving into election season in Germany and these “losers” are the same ones who have helped parties like the AfD become “winners” in recent years. Sounds vaguely familiar somehow but I can’t seem to put my finger on it at the moment.

Im Entwurf für den Leitantrag, der beim Parteitag Anfang Dezember beschlossen werden soll, sprechen die Christdemokraten ausdrücklich jene Bürger an, “die sich als Modernisierungsverlierer sehen und derzeit noch bei populistischen Parteien von rechts und links ihre Zuflucht suchen”.

German Of The Day: Dingsda

November 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hideology Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Obama Leave a comment

That means thingamajig, doohickey or even what’s-his-name.

Anyway, Dingsda is visiting Berlin again today. For another “iconic” speech, I assume. As long as it’s his last one, von mir aus (as far as I care).

Am Abend landet er in Tegel und er bleibt bis Freitag in Berlin, was auch zu zahlreichen Straßensperrungen führen wird.

Next Brilliant Green Idea Set To Explode In Their Brilliant Green Faces

November 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Language, Political Parties, State Spending, Taxation, Waste Leave a comment

Having years of experience when it comes to introducing ideas that nobody likes and losing votes and power because of it, the German Greens now plan to introduce a “wealth tax” to ensure that they will continue to lose votes in the upcoming 2017 election, as well.

In traditional re-distributive, Robin Hoodlum manner, they announced during their party conference in Wald Nottingheim (Nottingham Forest) that it is time to ask the “super rich,” whoever they might be, for a higher contribution to wasteful state spending and through this thus ensure that countless Mittelstand (middle class) companies in Germany will be disproportionately burdened. This will of course make them more competitive internationally. Not. As in Nottingham.

If industrialized countries, such as the US following Donald Trump’s victory, opted for a national orientation of their economy, German small- and medium-sized businesses would need their reserve funds more than ever before, Kretschmann stressed. The state should not go after these savings.

Germany Jubilant, Too

November 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Horror, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Language, Media, Polls, Trump, USA 4 Comments

Sort of.

German of the day: Ruhig Blut. That means keep your blood calm. You know, as in steady, there, keep your shirt on?

Überraschend und entgegen der meisten Umfragen heißt der kommende Präsident der USA Donald Trump.

German Engineering At Its Finest

November 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Audi, CO2, Deception, Defeat Devices, Dieselgate, Fraud, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Technology, VW Leave a comment

Fortschritt durch Technik. That’s Audi’s motto and means progress through technology.

And their latest advance in defeat device technology is a great step forward in consumer deception indeed.

Audi’s defeat device, camouflaged as a warm-up function, keys in on movements of the steering wheel to detect if the car is in the lab or not. Once in normal traffic, however, this warm-up function is deactivated and the vehicle switches to a higher fuel consumption mode, thus producing more CO2. Brilliant, don’t you think?

Come on, America. Why can’t you produce technology like this? These new fangled electric cars everybody is talking about these days don’t have any of this cool stuff.

So schummelte Audi bei CO² – Mit einer Software sollen Messergebnisse manipuliert worden sein.

Kraut EU Commissioner Sorry He Called Chinese Slitty-Eyed

November 4, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Chines, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Language, Racial Slurs 1 Comment

He actually meant to call them Chop Sticks. Or maybe Chinks. Or at the very least Ping Pongs.

What a Herm. This Boxhead Hun needs to get with the times already and call up the Racial Slur Database on that Heinee Handy (smartphone) of his. He is responsible for EU digital policy, after all.

“Frei von der Leber, as we say in German.”

German Of The Day: Kleiner Waffenschein

October 30, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Hamburg, ISIS, Language, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Terrorists, Weapons 1 Comment

That means small firearms license. And the number of these licenses just keeps on climbing here in Germany (an increase from 301,000 to 402,000 during the first six months of this year).

Gee. I wonder why?

Please note: These are licenses to carry guns that fire gas cartridges or blank rounds only. We don’t want to hurt the guy trying to kill us here or anything.

Der Anstieg setzte nach den Übergriffen der Silvesternacht in Köln ein.

German Of The Day: Liebling

October 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Actors, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Liebling Kreuzberg, Manfred Krug, TV Leave a comment

That means Liebling (favorite, darling). You know, like Liebling Kreuzberg? That was one of my Liebling TV shows I used to watch way back when in a place they used to call “West Berlin.”

Manfred Krug, Mr. lawyer Liebling himself, passed away today. An interesting character, somehow managing to be successful and remain popular on both sides of what they used to call “the Berlin Wall.” Rest in peace.

Er war unser “Liebling Kreuzberg” und die Personifizierung eines Berliners, dabei stammte er aus Duisburg: Manfred “Manne” Krug.

German Of The Day: Schwerbehindert

October 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria Tags: Disabilities, Disease Mongering, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Scams 7 Comments

That means severely disabled. You know, like 10 percent of the German population?

Huh? I know what you’re thinking, but it’s true. No, I’m not thinking it’s just another big scam (I know it is). I’m thinking how could it only be just 10 percent?

Schwerbehindert sind laut Statistik Menschen, denen die Versorgungsämter einen Grad der Behinderung von mindestens 50 Prozent zuerkennen und die einen gültigen Ausweis haben.

German Of The Day: Sexmonster

October 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Bildzeitung, Compound Words, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Media, Trump 4 Comments

That means sex monster.

But that’s only because this year’s presidential election is a real Schlammschlacht.

German word-compounding really shines: Schlamm means “filth” (with connotations of “slime”), and Schlacht, in addition to meaning “fight,” as it’s used here, also means “slaughter” (which you may remember from Schlachthof-fünf in the Vonnegut classic).

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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