Isn’t Anyone Going To Do Anything About This?

September 20, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Beer, Brewing, Diversification, Economics, German, Germans, Germany, Marketing, Price War, Prices, Products, Sales, Supply and Demand Leave a comment

The great German beer crisis? Demand is falling, people. And I can only drink so much on my own.

Demand is falling in a country where there are more than 6,000 different brands of beer. The theory goes that you could drink a different one each day for more than 16 years without having to taste the same one twice. In fact, today fewer Germans regularly drink beer at all. Since the early 1990s, domestic consumption has dropped by more than a quarter. Consumption per head peaked in 1976 and has been falling ever since. The result has left mass-market brewers suffering from overcapacity and fighting a long-running price war. More than two-thirds of all the beer sold in supermarkets is offered at a discount.

“How is it that one of the world’s biggest export nations, and one so obsessed with beer quality, fails to woo international drinkers?”

Germans Are Green-Minded?

September 19, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Audi, BMW, Crime, Dieselgate, Environment, Mercedes, VW 1 Comment

Yeah, I guess. Unless it has to do with their cars.

Because when it comes to the numerous environmental and other crimes committed by VW, BMW, Mercedes & Co. (Dieselgate is just the tip of the iceberg), German car owners just don’t care. These companies could march into to Poland and nobody would say anything.

Germans are fastidious about separating trash into different recycling bins and have spent untold billions on the so-called Energiewende, the transition from nuclear and fossil-burning fuels for electricity generation to renewable sources.

Just don’t mess with their cars. It may be a cliché that Germans are obsessed with their four-wheeled companions, but that doesn’t make any less true. While all other major sources of greenhouse gas emissions, from households to industry, have seen declines since 1990, transport emissions, which account for 20 percent of the total, have increased.

Die Europäische Kommission lässt bei ihren Kartell-Ermittlungen gegen BMW, Daimler und Volkswagen nicht locker. Die Behörde werde in einer förmlichen Prüfung untersuchen‚ ob die Konzerne unerlaubte Absprachen bei Abgas-Systemen für Diesel- und Benzinmotoren getroffen haben.

Alien Crop Circle Discovered In Prackenbach

September 18, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: AfD, Aliens, Chemnitz, Crop Circles, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Nazis, Political Parties, Protests, Refugees, Swastikas Leave a comment

That’s in Germany.

Actually, it’s in Bavaria. But still.

And it’s not really an alien crop circle, either. It’s more like an alien cross. It’s a strange geometrical figure and ancient religious icon most likely stemming from the cultures of Eurasia where it remains a symbol of divinity and spirituality in Indian and East Asian religions, to be exact.

So I guess this crop circle didn’t come from outer space after all. It’s also made of manure. That, too, is pretty weird and strange. And the letters “AfD” are also clearly visible next to it. Nope, no alien would write those letters. Not even an illegal alien from outer space would do that, I suppose. This was the work of human beings. Human being artist types who use manure for their shitty works of art. This, too, is weird and strange. And eerie.

Aufregung in der kleinen niederbayerischen Gemeinde Prackenbach (knapp 3000 Einwohner)!

German Of The Day: Sitzfleisch (vs. Aussitzen)

September 16, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrant Crisis, Migrants, Politics, Refugees Leave a comment

Take Angela Merkel. Please.

To have Sitzfleisch (sitting meat) means, on the one hand, to be able to sit still for the long periods of time required to be truly productive; it means the stamina to work through a difficult situation and see a project through to the end. On the other hand, it can also refer to someone who doesn’t know when to leave. You know, like the guest who won’t go home or the chancellor who won’t go home, either?

Aussitzen (sitting something out), however, is to deal with a difficult situation or crisis by not doing anything about it. That is, to just wait it out until it finally goes away – or until the person waiting it out claims that it has gone away. You know, what Angela Merkel and other politicians like her regularly do?

“German condenses what would take about seven or eight words in English into one particular word. The humour comes from the density of the word and the fact that it expresses something in such condensed form that we can’t get anywhere near.”

This Is Tree-Hugger Treason!

September 13, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Activists, Environmentalists, Forests, German, Germans, Germany, Police, Puns, Tree Huggers, Treehouses, Trees Leave a comment

Or treeson, I should say. What? They’re already ready to give up after a mere six years and just… leaf?

German police confront treehouse activists after six-year standoff – Hundreds of police officers have descended on a patch of forest in western Germany occupied by activists living in treehouses, in an escalation of a long-running environmental battle.

Dozens of protesters have occupied 60 treehouses, some as high as 25 metres off the ground, since 2012 in an attempt to protect the ancient Hambach forest from being felled to make way for the expansion of an open-pit coalmine.

Why, I’m shocked. Wood you believe it? And they were doing such a treemendous job up there, too. What do they do now? Look for a new branch of work?

Polizei holt ersten Hambach-Aktivisten von Plattform.

Angela Merkel Condemns Xenophobia

September 12, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: AfD, Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, Bundestag, Chemnitz, Crime, Debates, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Neo-Nazis, Racism, Refugees, Xenophobia Leave a comment

After her decision to let more than a million refugees into Germany.

She hasn’t got around to condemning murder yet but she’s lernfähig (capable of learning), or at least she claims to be.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel condemned xenophobic attacks and the use of Nazi slogans in a robust speech to parliament on Wednesday after the most violent far-right demonstrations in decades exposed deep divisions in the country.

Protests of right-wing radicals in the eastern city of Chemnitz two weeks ago after the fatal stabbing of a German blamed on two migrants has reignited a fierce debate about her 2015 decision to let more than a million refugees into Germany.

Dann griff er Kanzlerin Merkel scharf an: Sie habe „Fake News“ verbreitet, als ihr Sprecher von „Hetzjagden“ gesprochen habe… „Verbarrikadieren Sie sich nur weiter im Bundeskanzleramt. Ich wiederhole meine Frage: Wer gefährdet den politischen Frieden?“

AI Don’t Trust You

September 11, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: AI, German, Germans, Germany, Surveys, Technology, YouGov Leave a comment

But what’s new? Germans don’t trust any new technical development that comes along. Grundsätzlich (out of principle). New is scary because it always comes from somewhere else.

So here’s another piece of news that made the news even though it’s not news at all: A YouGov survey has revealed that Germans are distrustful of anything that has to do with artificial intelligence. Not only is AI new (and from somehwere else), it’s, well, artificial. It’s not natural, you know? Non-organic or something.

Die Mehrheit der Deutschen steht einer Umfrage des Instituts YouGov zufolge dem Einsatz Künstlicher Intelligenz (KI) misstrauisch gegenüber. Nur rund jeder Siebte – 15 Prozent – denkt demnach, dass der Nutzen der Technologie gegenüber den Risiken überwiegt, wie die repräsentative Umfrage ergab.

German Of The Day: Déja-vu

September 10, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Journalists, Köthen, Language, Media, Migrants, Murder, Press, Refugees 1 Comment

That means déja vu. Like here.

I could have sworn this just happened in Chemnitz. Maybe because it just did. One of the Afghan suspects thought to be responsible for the death of a twenty-two-year-old man in a town called Köthen had been turned down for asylum status in Germany and should have already been flown back to his country. Hmm. There seems to be a pattern developing here.

The twenty-two-year-old supposedly died of a heart attack, by the way. During a knife attack. This being quickly determined on the evening of the incident. Before the autopsy. So there is nothing to get excited about, people. Chill already. This kind of thing happens all the time.

Im Fall des im sachsen-anhaltinischen Köthen gestorbenen 22-Jährigen sind die Ermittlungen zum genauen Tathergang noch nicht abgeschlossen. Dies teilten Landesinnenminister Holger Stahlknecht und Landesjustizministerin Anne-Marie Keding mit und bestätigten, dass der Mann an einem akuten Herzinfarkt gestorben ist.

German Of The Day: Allzeit-Tief

September 9, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Asylum Seekers, CDU/CSU, Emnid, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrants, Political Parties, Polls, Refugees, SPD, Surveys Leave a comment

That means all-time low.

The latest Emnid “Sunday trend” survey indicates that Germany’s CDU/CSU Union and SPD “grand” coalition government continues to loss favor with German voters – and is not nearly as grand as the name implies.

Like the SPD experience last week when it fell behind the AfD in similar popularity ratings, the CDU/CSU has also continued its slide and are now only at 29 percent. With the SPD’s current 17 percent rating, the grand coalition would only reach 46 percent of the vote if elections were to be held today.

Everyone is puzzled about what the reason for these low ratings could be. Not.

Die Parteien der großen Koalition verlieren bei den Wählern an Zuspruch. Von den Einbußen der Unionsparteien und der Sozialdemokraten profitiert bislang nur eine Bundestagspartei.

That’s A Shocker

September 7, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Chemnitz, Crime, Demonstrations, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Lying Press, Media, Migrants, Murder, Protests Leave a comment

Not.

The Head of Germany’s Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution (a long name for their spooky spy FBI-type folks), Hans-Georg Maaßen, has had the unmitigated audacity to announce that he has seen no evidence indicating that there was any hounding of refugees going on during the protests in Chemnitz.

He maintains that a video seemingly depicting as much was circulated to distract from the murder that had caused the protests in the first place.

That can’t be, though. That would be fake news. The Germans enjoy state TV. And if it’s not in German state TV, well, it didn’t happen. Or vice versa. Or both. I forget.

Hans-Georg Maaßen sagt, er habe keine Informationen über Hetzjagden in Chemnitz. Ein entsprechendes Video sei wohl gestreut worden, um von dem “Mord” abzulenken.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness