If You’re Going To Pull Down Statues

You might as well pull down Fawlty Towers while you’re at it.

Fawlty

Nobody gets this. But nobody gets what’s going on anywhere else these days so, whatever.

An episode of sitcom Fawlty Towers has been taken off UKTV’s streaming service because it contains “racial slurs”.

The BBC-owned platform said it had made The Germans unavailable while it carries out a review.

In the 1975 episode, Basil Fawlty declares “don’t mention the war” around German guests, while the Major uses highly offensive language about the West Indies cricket team.

“One of the things I’ve learned in the last 180 years is that people have very different senses of humour.”

Germany To Subsidize Tesla

In a bold move to help the ailing German automobile industry, the German government will be spending billions of euros on subsidies for electric cars most likely manufactured by the American electric vehicle maker Tesla Inc. (Germans don’t do electric cars).

Tesla

Germany raised the incentives to buy electric cars and cut the sales tax on more fuel-efficient internal combustion engines (ICE), but increased taxes on gas guzzling SUVs and sports cars which will hit the profits of the big auto makers.

Wumms“ für Tesla und Nel. Geldregen für Wasserstoff und E-Auto – Daimler und Co stehen im Regen.

We’re All Going To Die!

So let’s go on a nice vacation first. It looks like Coronavirus is going to take a little longer than expected to wipe out the German race so Germans aren’t wasting any time getting their priorities straight.

Vacation

Coronavirus: Germany to lift travel ban for 29 European countries on June 15 – The German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas has confirmed that Germany will remove a travel ban on EU member states and some other countries from June 15. However, he stressed that this was not “an invitation to travel.”

“We must not let this lull us into a false sense of security.”

Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.

Must Be The Same Company That Built Berlin’s Airport

That took (is taking?) absolutely forever. But sheesh. To take the next 1,000 years to build a stupid time pyramid? Talk about your long term planning.

Pyramid

Germans Are Building a Time Pyramid Over the Next 1,000 Years – A locally crowdfunded “time pyramid” in southern Germany will be completed brick by brick over the next 1,000 years. The project is an interesting symbol of several intersecting ideas. Can you guarantee future generations will comply with very long-term plans? How will the large concrete bricks hold up to a millennium of weather and beyond?

Nice Try, Gazprom Gerd

You can run, Gerhard Schröder, but you can’t hide.

Schroeder

More and more people in Germany are voluntarily wearing face masks in public, as seen here with former chancellor Schröder and his partner.

Immer mehr Menschen in Deutschland tragen in der Öffentlichkeit freiwillig Schutzmasken. Wie hier Alt-Kanzler Schröder mit seiner Lebensgefährtin.

A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.