German Of The Day: Stiff Upper Lippe

January 16, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Donald Trump, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Migrants, NATO, Protectionism, Refugees 1 Comment

That means stiff upper lip.

And that’s what meany Berlin politician types are struggling with to keep up after Donald Trump’s latest bizarre attacks against Germany, the EU and NATO.

In trying to console themselves, however, many German stiff-upper-lippers remind the rest of us that Donald Trump is also against the UN, the CIA, the FBI, AC/DC, TCP/IP and even LSD itself, to name just a few. Although the LSD…

With a stiff upper lip, Steffen Seibert instead pledged that Berlin would “co-operate closely” with the Trump administration.

Germans Disturbed That Racial Profiling Actually Worked

January 15, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Police, Prevention, Racial Profiling, Refugees 1 Comment

But not all too much, it seems.

I mean, who ought those police checks on New Year’s Eve in Cologne have been directed toward? Blonde Scandanavian retirees? Something tells me that would have been less effective than the emphasis they placed on Nafris.

A YouGov poll released on Thursday found that the majority of Germans said racial profiling was not problematic, amid criticism of police checks on New Year’s Eve in Cologne. Sixty-three percent of Germans in the YouGov poll said they did not find racial profiling generally problematic.

Mehrheit der Deutschen hält Racial Profiling für unproblematisch, US-Amerikaner denken anders

My German Is More Dumber Than Your German Is

January 14, 2017 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Higher Education, Humor Tags: 99 Cent, Amazon, Antecdotes, Barnes & Noble, Berlin, Book Sales, Books, eBooks, Free Ebooks, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, iTunes, Jokes, Language, Sales, Smashwords, Travel Leave a comment

It’s 99 cent blowout ebook sale time again! Like how outrageous is that?

Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)

Also available at iTunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, etc. For a limited time only or something.*

“Very funny book, relating dumb things people say while trying out their high school German. Laughing so hard at my normally quiet workplace I had tears in my eyes, my boss walked by and asked if I was OK. Oh yeah! She has a great sense of humor with an eye toward languages. Buy this book and laugh yourself silly!”

–Kilgore Trout

* I’d give this ebook away for free but then you wouldn’t read it and that would be irresponsible so I won’t.

At Least It’s Not A Life Sentence

January 13, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings Tags: Courts, Crime, Dieselgate, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Language, Law, VW 1 Comment

Or lebenslänglich*, as the Germans like to call it. It’s only 169 years.

Or could be. For Volkswagen managers who get arrested in US-Amerika, I mean.

A U.S. judge on Thursday ordered a Volkswagen executive charged in the Justice Department’s diesel emissions investigation held without bail pending trial. Oliver Schmidt was arrested Saturday at Miami’s International Airport as he planned to fly home after a vacation. He was one of six current and former VW executives charged this week in U.S. District Court in Detroit. The other five are in Germany and are unlikely to be extradited…

Schmidt is charged with eleven felony counts, which could be punished by up to 169 years in prison, the government said.

VW-Manager drohen bis zu 169 Jahre Gefängnis

* There is no such think as a life sentence in Germany, by the way. A life sentence is 15 years here.

Leading German Fake News Provider Upset That News It Calls Real Now Being Called Fake By Others

January 12, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: CNN, Der Spiegel, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Journalism, Media, Trump 2 Comments

Aghast (along with CNN) at allegations by President-elect Donald Trump that the fake news they and other major fake news purveyors regularly claim to be real is actually fake, German fake news provider Der Spiegel now claims that the President-elect’s allegations are “like totally fake already.”

“He can’t be serious, can he? Let’s get real here, people,” said one empörter (indignant) journalist in Hamburg. “He’s faking it. And I know a fake when I see one. That’s my job. And I mean that. For real.”

Fake News ist für manche die unbelastete Variante von “Lügenpresse” und ein bequemes Schlagwort für alles Neue, was einem nicht in den Kram passt. Auch in Deutschland findet das Nachahmer bei jenen, die die von ihnen sogenannten Mainstream-Medien ins Visier genommen haben.

Spectacular!

January 11, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Elbharmonie, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Hamburg, Opera, Spending, Waste 1 Comment

The new Elbphilharmonie!!

Instead of costing the planned 77 million euros it ended up costing Hamburg 800 million instead!!!

Breathtaking or something. Enjoy your status while you can, Hamburg. Just wait until the final cost for Berlin’s airport gets determined. If it ever does, I mean. We will CRUSH you!

Die Hansestädter sind froh, dass das Ding endlich fertig ist. Der Bau sollte 77 Millionen Euro kosten, am Ende waren es fast 800 Millionen.

German Bad Word Of The Year 2016: Volksverräter

January 10, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Politicians, Words Leave a comment

That means traitor, or traitor of the people. And it’s actually a non-word or un-word of the year, not just a bad word of the year. Although it’s all three, I guess.

And if you look carefully at that photo you will see the feminine form of that word. Just in case you were wondering.

Each year, German linguists elect one word as the ‘Unwort’ (non-word) of the year. For 2016, the winner was a term meaning ‘traitor’ which has strong Nazi connotations.

Das Wort sei ein “Erbe von Diktaturen“, sagte sie. In der Begründung der Jury heißt es, Anhänger von Pegida, AfD und ähnlichen Initiativen würden den Begriff als Vorwurf gegenüber Politikern verwenden. Er sei undifferenziert und diffamierend und würde “das ernsthafte Gespräch und damit die für Demokratie notwendigen Diskussionen in der Gesellschaft” abwürgen.

I’ll Fill Your Prescription For You, Baby

January 9, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Prostitution 3 Comments

The German Green party is not wacky or comprised of „weltfremde Spinner“ (unrealistic weirdos). Honest. Or at least that’s what they’ve been telling us for years and years.

But every once in a while something short-circuits and they get all atavistic on us and pull something where you realize that they are totally coo coo for cocoa puffs after all. The latest: A German Lawmaker Wants the State to Pay for Prostitutes for the Elderly – The Green Party lawmaker says she can imagine authorities “financing sexual assistance.”

Damn. This could give elder abuse a whole new meaning.

Tübingens Grüner Oberbürgermeister kritisiert den Vorstoß, Sexdienste für Pflegebedürftige finanzieren zu wollen. Die Grünen setzten sich wieder einmal dem Vorwurf aus, „weltfremde Spinner“ zu sein.

Arresting One Of The Fourteen Would Have Been Enough

January 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: Anis Amri, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Islamist Terror, Police, Security, Surveillance, Terror Leave a comment

Why did German authorities fail to stop Anis Amri, Spiegel asks? Like, duh. Because they can. And boy oh boy can they ever.

I mean, what didn’t go wrong here? Now it’s come out that this guy was known to German authorities under fourteen different identities long before the attack in Berlin took place. Nothing suspicious there, right? That’s why nothing was undertaken, I guess. Now people are asking why but they already know why because that’s why German authorities are there. To do nothing. Except get reprimanded for using bad words. That’s why. Inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Aus einem Bericht des NRW-Landeskriminaldirektors Dieter Schürmann vor dem Ausschuss ging hevor, dass Amri den deutschen Behörden unter insgesamt 14 verschiedenen Identitäten bekannt war.

German Of The Day: Mogelpackung

January 4, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Consumer Fraud, Deception, Fraud, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Products 3 Comments

That means deceptive packaging. And it’s not just in politics either, folks.

Lots of products get packaged deceptively over here, too. Take these chips, for instance. You get 25 grams less product for the same not-all-that-low price!

Can’t wait to see who wins “Mogelpackung 2016.” The competition never sleeps.

Zu dieser Wahl ruft die Verbraucherzentrale Hamburg auf, die das ganze Jahr über Beispiele für versteckte Preiserhöhungen gesammelt hat. Das Prinzip ist stets das gleiche: In einer Packung ist weniger drin, aber der Preis bleibt unverändert.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germans