Next Brilliant Green Idea Set To Explode In Their Brilliant Green Faces

November 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Language, Political Parties, State Spending, Taxation, Waste Leave a comment

Having years of experience when it comes to introducing ideas that nobody likes and losing votes and power because of it, the German Greens now plan to introduce a “wealth tax” to ensure that they will continue to lose votes in the upcoming 2017 election, as well.

In traditional re-distributive, Robin Hoodlum manner, they announced during their party conference in Wald Nottingheim (Nottingham Forest) that it is time to ask the “super rich,” whoever they might be, for a higher contribution to wasteful state spending and through this thus ensure that countless Mittelstand (middle class) companies in Germany will be disproportionately burdened. This will of course make them more competitive internationally. Not. As in Nottingham.

If industrialized countries, such as the US following Donald Trump’s victory, opted for a national orientation of their economy, German small- and medium-sized businesses would need their reserve funds more than ever before, Kretschmann stressed. The state should not go after these savings.

And Yet Another Leap Forward Already

October 11, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: China, Ecologists, Future, German, Germans, Germany, Green Shirts, Greens, Idioms, Language, Maglev Trains, Progress, Technology, Transrapid Leave a comment

Back to the past, I mean.

Step one: Develop a a maglev train technology that any ecology-minded tree hugger and profit-minded industrialist ought to have been thrilled about.

Step two: Go out of your way as ecology-minded German tree huggers to make absolutely sure that this technology is a complete failure at home.

Step three: Give up as a government years later by auctioning off the technology to the lowest bidder. Fine, to the highest bidder. But they’ll be giving it away “for an apple and an egg,” as the German idiom goes.

Jahrzehntelang stand der Transrapid für die Mobilität der Zukunft – die in Deutschland aber nie Gegenwart wurde.

Confused Green Youth These Days

June 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Euro 2016, Fans, Flag-waving, Flags, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Nationalism, Patriotism, Political Parties, Soccer, Sports Leave a comment

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!

Greens Ready For Next Verbot

March 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Coffee Capsules, Deposits, Environment, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legislation, Political Parties Leave a comment

Coffee capsules. They’re colorful. They’re deadly. And they must be stopped.

According to German green scientists, these throwaway capsules produced “a mountain of garbage consisting of 5000 tons of aluminum and plastic” in 2014 alone. They refused to say where this mountain was located, however. The mountain is neither here nor there, folks. The important thing is that these capsules must be combated by introducing a so-called “deposit system” or “environmental tax,” two radical new German green ideas never yet tried before. It will be tough. And expensive. And annoying as hell. But we can only hope that their efforts will once again save our planet in time.

In Deutschland wurden dem “Spiegel” zufolge 2014 fast drei Milliarden Kaffeekapseln verbraucht. Das entspreche einem Müllberg von etwa 5000 Tonnen Aluminium und Plastik.

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

February 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anxiety, Crime, Fear, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Gun control, Guns, Insecurity, Political Parties, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Weapons 2 Comments

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

I Got Your Green Credentials For You Right Here, Pal

September 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Climate Change, Climate Goals, Emissions, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Merkel, Renewable energy, UN, Volkswagen, VW 1 Comment

“It’s ugly, but it gets you there.” But it’s ugly. And it’s getting uglier by the minute.

The timing of the scandal could not be worse for the government.

Chancellor Angela Merkel is scheduled to travel to New York on Friday to persuade fellow members of the United Nations to adopt climate goals ahead of a UN climate conference in Paris in December.

Merkel sees herself as champion of climate issues and would like to see Germany’s decision to abandon nuclear power and the transition to renewable energy as one of her most lasting legacies.

In June, she helped draw up ambitious carbon emission reduction goals adopted by the Group of Seven (G7) countries.

At the same time, she has always robustly defended the interests of her country’s automakers and postponed the implementation of European emission limits.

German Of The Day: Dreck Am Stecken

September 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Automobiles, Crime, Defeat Devices, Emissions Testing, Environment, EPA, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Industry, Language, Volkswagen 3 Comments

That means there is dirt stuck (to you) somewhere or you have dirt under your carpet – as in having done something wrong or illegal.

You know, like Volkswagen has/does in US-Amerika? The company inserted a device into almost 500,000 cars meant to trick emissions testing, the EPA says. Volkswagen is not denying this.

So the next time Germans begin those tiring lectures about doing more for the Umwelt (another German word meaning environment), remember to make sure and check if their emissions are make-believe or not.

There are almost 500,000 vehicles on American roads with the devices installed, according to the EPA. Volkswagen must now pay to repair the emissions systems in affected cars. The government may also fine the company as much as $18 billion.

But I Didn’t Inhale

September 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Health, Helections, Hideology, High Art, Humor Tags: Anton Hofreiter, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Pot 1 Comment

Now this one here knocked my socks CLEAN off. Finally, some real news.

German GREEN whip Anton Hofreiter from the GREEN party has revealed in a shocking interview about his new GREEN Book entitled “Toking and Criminality” that yes, he, too, he HIM-GREEN-SELF actually smoked GREEN pot in his youth. He didn’t do it all that often, though. And it goes without saying that he didn’t inhale. And that was way back when in his youth, like he says. When he was young and stuff.

His drugs today are wine and beer. Damn. He reminds me of me.

“Ja, ich habe in meiner Jugend gekifft.”

The Little Red Book: Of Little-Read Jokes about the Enlightened Left

September 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Books, Communists, eBooks, Feminists, Greens, Humor, Jokes, Leftists, Liberals, Pacifists, Satire, Socialists, The Left, The Little Red Book 3 Comments

Why do liberals love eating donuts so much?

Also available at Amazon, Apple iTunes, Barnes & Noble, createspace, etc. Enjoy!

Coffee From Togo To Be Heavily Taxed

September 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Deposits, Environmentalists, German, Germans, Germany, Government Intervention, Green Shirts, Greens, Language, Lobbies, Taxation 2 Comments

At last count, Germans who purchase coffee from Togo toss some 3 billion of the disposable cups used to temporarily carry it in each and every year.

Predictably outraged by this, German green shirts have predictably outraged German coffee vendors by suggesting that a 20-cent tax be placed on this luxury drink to encourage coffee Togo connoisseurs to bring along their reusable and occasionally re-washable coffee Togo coffee cups with them, preferably hanging on the environmentally friendly coffee Togo belt loop hangers attached to their biodegradable pants.

Should this prove to be too impractical for some customers, the ecological crusaders suggest, vendors should offer them a discount option (taxpayer subsidized) of drinking the invigorating beverage directly from their trembling cupped hands.

“Nehmen Sie sich ein wenig Zeit und trinken Ihren Kaffee vor Ort – aus einer Tasse.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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