Greens Ready For Next Verbot

March 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Coffee Capsules, Deposits, Environment, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legislation, Political Parties Leave a comment

Coffee capsules. They’re colorful. They’re deadly. And they must be stopped.

According to German green scientists, these throwaway capsules produced “a mountain of garbage consisting of 5000 tons of aluminum and plastic” in 2014 alone. They refused to say where this mountain was located, however. The mountain is neither here nor there, folks. The important thing is that these capsules must be combated by introducing a so-called “deposit system” or “environmental tax,” two radical new German green ideas never yet tried before. It will be tough. And expensive. And annoying as hell. But we can only hope that their efforts will once again save our planet in time.

In Deutschland wurden dem “Spiegel” zufolge 2014 fast drei Milliarden Kaffeekapseln verbraucht. Das entspreche einem Müllberg von etwa 5000 Tonnen Aluminium und Plastik.

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

February 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anxiety, Crime, Fear, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Gun control, Guns, Insecurity, Political Parties, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Weapons 2 Comments

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

I Got Your Green Credentials For You Right Here, Pal

September 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Climate Change, Climate Goals, Emissions, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Merkel, Renewable energy, UN, Volkswagen, VW 1 Comment

“It’s ugly, but it gets you there.” But it’s ugly. And it’s getting uglier by the minute.

The timing of the scandal could not be worse for the government.

Chancellor Angela Merkel is scheduled to travel to New York on Friday to persuade fellow members of the United Nations to adopt climate goals ahead of a UN climate conference in Paris in December.

Merkel sees herself as champion of climate issues and would like to see Germany’s decision to abandon nuclear power and the transition to renewable energy as one of her most lasting legacies.

In June, she helped draw up ambitious carbon emission reduction goals adopted by the Group of Seven (G7) countries.

At the same time, she has always robustly defended the interests of her country’s automakers and postponed the implementation of European emission limits.

German Of The Day: Dreck Am Stecken

September 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Automobiles, Crime, Defeat Devices, Emissions Testing, Environment, EPA, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Industry, Language, Volkswagen 3 Comments

That means there is dirt stuck (to you) somewhere or you have dirt under your carpet – as in having done something wrong or illegal.

You know, like Volkswagen has/does in US-Amerika? The company inserted a device into almost 500,000 cars meant to trick emissions testing, the EPA says. Volkswagen is not denying this.

So the next time Germans begin those tiring lectures about doing more for the Umwelt (another German word meaning environment), remember to make sure and check if their emissions are make-believe or not.

There are almost 500,000 vehicles on American roads with the devices installed, according to the EPA. Volkswagen must now pay to repair the emissions systems in affected cars. The government may also fine the company as much as $18 billion.

But I Didn’t Inhale

September 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Health, Helections, Hideology, High Art, Humor Tags: Anton Hofreiter, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Pot 1 Comment

Now this one here knocked my socks CLEAN off. Finally, some real news.

German GREEN whip Anton Hofreiter from the GREEN party has revealed in a shocking interview about his new GREEN Book entitled “Toking and Criminality” that yes, he, too, he HIM-GREEN-SELF actually smoked GREEN pot in his youth. He didn’t do it all that often, though. And it goes without saying that he didn’t inhale. And that was way back when in his youth, like he says. When he was young and stuff.

His drugs today are wine and beer. Damn. He reminds me of me.

“Ja, ich habe in meiner Jugend gekifft.”

The Little Red Book: Of Little-Read Jokes about the Enlightened Left

September 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Books, Communists, eBooks, Feminists, Greens, Humor, Jokes, Leftists, Liberals, Pacifists, Satire, Socialists, The Left, The Little Red Book 3 Comments

Why do liberals love eating donuts so much?

Also available at Amazon, Apple iTunes, Barnes & Noble, createspace, etc. Enjoy!

Coffee From Togo To Be Heavily Taxed

September 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Coffee, Deposits, Environmentalists, German, Germans, Germany, Government Intervention, Green Shirts, Greens, Language, Lobbies, Taxation 2 Comments

At last count, Germans who purchase coffee from Togo toss some 3 billion of the disposable cups used to temporarily carry it in each and every year.

Predictably outraged by this, German green shirts have predictably outraged German coffee vendors by suggesting that a 20-cent tax be placed on this luxury drink to encourage coffee Togo connoisseurs to bring along their reusable and occasionally re-washable coffee Togo coffee cups with them, preferably hanging on the environmentally friendly coffee Togo belt loop hangers attached to their biodegradable pants.

Should this prove to be too impractical for some customers, the ecological crusaders suggest, vendors should offer them a discount option (taxpayer subsidized) of drinking the invigorating beverage directly from their trembling cupped hands.

“Nehmen Sie sich ein wenig Zeit und trinken Ihren Kaffee vor Ort – aus einer Tasse.”

German Of The Day: Nervensäge

May 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Birthdays, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Idioms, Language, Political Parties, Politicians 4 Comments

That means “nerve saw” or annoying person. And heaven knows that Claudia Roth of the German Greens has spent an entire career making a name for herself in that department.

The Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung even once referred to her as the “Mother of All Nerve Saws.” But that was then and this is now. She has clearly mellowed out now that she just turned 60 (today). Now it’s more like she just gnaws on your nerves.

Happy Birthday, Claudia!

Selbst Etiketten wie “Mutter aller Nervensägen”, wie die “FAZ” einmal schrieb, ärgern die streitbare Politikerin nicht. Im Gegenteil: Im Bundestagswahlkampf 2013 griff sie das Thema selbstironisch auf, eine Parteikampagne für mehr weibliche Mitglieder warb mit dem Spruch: “Wer nervt mehr als Claudia?”

Germans Don’t Frack Around

April 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Energy, Environment, Fracking, Gas, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legislation, Russia, Ukraine 2 Comments

Germany is just about to make German fracking safer. In a country that doesn’t do any fracking in the first place, versteht sich (it’s understood). And they are going to make it safer by banning it altogether. Makes sense to me. When I concentrate really hard and try to think like a German, I mean (can’t do it for very long, though).

The new draft law, which now goes to parliament for approval, will impose an outright ban on fracking for shale gas in the next few years and only allow scientific test drilling under strict conditions to assess the risks and environmental impact.

The law could allow commercial shale gas fracking in exceptional cases from 2019 but only after successful test drilling and the approval of a special committee.

Germany’s gas industry has warned restricting fracking could increase the country’s dependence on imported energy at a time when geopolitical concerns, particularly over Ukraine, are growing.

The BDI industry lobby group described the new conditions as “completely over the top”.

Last year, gas imports from Russia accounted for 37 percent of Germany’s supply. Only 12 percent of Germany’s needs were covered by its own reserves, down from almost a fifth a decade earlier.

German Greenness Now A Recognized Disease

February 19, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Alles Grün Und Gut?, Books, Dirk Maxeiner, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Michael Miersch 3 Comments

Just like practically everything else around here. It’s called Gefährliche Öko-Hysterie (Dangerous Eco-Hysteria or DEH) and has blossomed out to become one of the top Volkskrankheiten (collective, people’s diseases) in the country, although I couldn’t give you it’s official ranking on the official top-ten disease list because these top-ten diseases change every few minutes anyway.

The problem with German Greenness or DEH is not so much that everyone in Germany has swallowed what the green shirts have been feeding them for decades. Hook, line and sinker, I mean. The problem here arises when the Widersprüche (contradictions) of green shirt ideology begin popping up their ugly little pointed heads. And they do this all the time, if you just look a little closer. Here are just a few such contradictory symptoms that might catch your attention:

“Are energy-saving lamps environmentally friendly if they contain poisonous mercury? Is organic farming truly ecological if twice as much land is needed for the same harvest? Are wind power plants environmentally friendly if they hack thousands of birds and bats to pieces? What effects does biodiesel have on nature if it comes from palm oil and rainforests have to be burned down to cultivate that? Why aren’t German friends of the sun concerned that Chinese solar cell factories pollute the environment and poison people?”

Try as they might, the Germans, green as they may claim to be, nevertheless have no choice but to start thinking about such contradictions from time to time and these contradictions can cause intense innere Spannung (inner tension) and Aufruhr (turmoil). They wonder if maybe the green regime isn’t what it claims to be after all. Some have even begun listening and watching Feindsender (enemy radio stations, TV and Internet sites), although this is strictly forbidden, of course. One or two have even organized Widerstand (resistance groups). Of course I’m just speculating here about the one or two organizing Widerstand but you must admit that it is at least theoretically possible.

Anyways, I want all of you to take two green aspirin and call me in the morning. Better yet, take two green aspirin and go away. Go off to Valhalla or Waldhalla or wherever it is you greens go to when you fade away, which will never be fast enough for me. You dangerously eco-hysterical sickos, you.

Alle sind grün geworden, von Angela Merkel bis Margot Käßmann, von “Bild” bis “Brigitte”, von der Allianz bis zum ADAC. Sogar McDonald’s hat sein Logo von rot auf grün umgefärbt. Gleichzeitig wird immer verschwommener, für was die Etiketten “grün” oder “nachhaltig” überhaupt noch stehen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Greens