German Of The Day: Deutsche Bank

That means German Bank.

Deutsche Bank

And it’s getting hard to find a financial scandal that this bank is not involved in. When it comes to corruption and criminal activity, it’s the Volkswagen among the banks, you could say. Or the Audi, if you prefer.

Today’s criminal activity: U.S. authorities have tried to seize millions of dollars associated with several companies that deal with North Korea, including the country’s military, from eight large international banks, according to court filings made public on Thursday. Deutsche Bank is among them.

Some of the transactions were processed for Dandong Zhicheng Metallic Material Co and four affiliated “front” companies that prosecutors said tried to evade sanctions through transactions that would benefit North Korean entities, “including the North Korea military and North Korea weapons programs,” according to the filings.

Amerikanische Staatsanwälte haben die Deutsche Bank und sieben weitere Banken im Visier. Der Grund: Sie sollen Geschäfte mit nordkoreanischen Tarnfirmen gemacht haben.

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Happy Easter!

Rocket

Funny how a rocket can just explode like that. During such an important test, I mean.

China hatte noch am Freitag vor dem Hintergrund der stark angespannten Lage eindringlich vor neuen Provokationen und Drohungen gewarnt, damit die Situation nicht außer Kontrolle gerät. Alle Seiten sollten Zurückhaltung zeigen und nichts unternehmen, was die Situation noch verschärfen könnte, sagte Außenminister Wang Yi.

North Korea Demands Film Not Being Shown At Film Festival Not Be Shown At Film Festival

And when North Korea demands something, the Berlinale listens.

Interview

Organizers here quickly buckled under pressure and have now sheepishly agreed to take the film not being shown on their program off their program immediately. The wussies.

Somewhere along the line, because of the February 5th start dates, North Korea’s Foreign Ministry misinterpreted that The Interview was an official entrant in the 65th annual Berlinale. As a result, North Korean’s state-run broadcast issued a statement demanding that the film not screen at the festival, which it’s not and never was scheduled to. An organizer for the film festival spoke to the North Korean ambassador to Germany to clear up the misunderstanding.

Rookie Dictator Just Can’t Get Anybody To Take Him Seriously

In the latest feeble attempt to get the entire world to cower in fear before him, AZUBI (apprentice) communist dictator Kim Jong Un has now warned the German embassy in Pyongyang (and other foreign embassies as well) to consider evacuating their employees ASAP.

Rookie

North Korea will not be able to guarantee their safety in the event of the imminent conflict and subsequent Weltuntergang (Armageddon) which is about to take place honest I swear it is, he said.

And if these employees of yours are not evacuated real soon like, Kim Jong Un then went on to say, he may then have to seriously consider airing a live worldwide television broadcast (OK, YouTube) in which he will hold his breath until his face turns blue. No, he means red.

Nordkorea, das wegen seines Atomwaffenprogramms international isoliert ist, reiht seit Wochen militärische Drohungen insbesondere gegen die USA und Südkorea aneinander. Am Donnerstag hatte der Generalstab der nordkoreanischen Volksarmee mitgeteilt, ein Atomangriff auf die USA sei nun “offiziell genehmigt.”

US-Amerika Raising Tensions Again

United States military forces have once again dramatically and unnecessarily raised tensions all over the place (but in North Korea mostly) by clearly demonstrating that they intend to react to any preemptive nuclear strikes conducted by North Korea against the United States with what will most likely be a more than sufficient show of overwhelming force.

B2

Concerned European peace researchers are alarmed, of course, and stress that this type of bravado only sends signals that could result in confrontation and should cease immediately already. Or else.

Nordkorea hatte den Amerikanern jüngst mit einem atomaren Erstschlag und dem Angriff von amerikanischen Militärstützpunkten im Pazifik gedroht.

Doing Business With Communist Regimes R Us

You won’t regret it, Pyongyang! Germans have always been the one-stop experts when it comes to laying the groundwork for foreign investment in crumbling shithole communist states!

Kim Jong Un

And here are just a few of the bennies your North Korean “companies” will soon be getting out of the coming deal:

We have absolutely no problem validating communism – we’ve been doing it for decades!

Our proven track record of indifference to the suffering populations under oppressive totalitarian regimes is virtually unmatched in the Western World!

Our economists and lawyers are all “can do will do” when it comes to selling expensive stuff to bullies of all varieties, no matter how bizarre, deranged or absolutely wacko they may be!

That is why you know that we support your latest master plan wholeheartedly – and we Germans KNOW a thing or two about master plans, too.

So remember Kim Jong: We are the pros when it comes to helping you help ourselves to help you help ourselves while helping you help us in the process.

“There is a master plan. They want to open up this year.”