German Of The Day: Klartext

May 11, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Hypocrisy, Iran, Language, Merkel, Migrants, Refugees, Trump 1 Comment

That means straight talk.

And that’s the kind of talk Angela Merkel was talking today when she said at the German Catholic Congress in Munster: “If everybody does whatever he feels like doing then that is bad news for the world.”

She was referring, of course, to her reckless, emotion-driven, unilateral and illegal decision to provide refuge to anybody and everybody coming from Syria or anywhere else (provided they don’t have any identification papers on them), this having led to the ongoing refugee crisis in Germany and the rest of Europe.

Oh, oops! Sorry. Actually she was referring to Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw from the Iran nuclear deal. But, I dunno, same difference.

“Wenn jeder macht, worauf er Lust hat, ist das eine schlechte Nachricht für die Welt.”

Father’s Day Is Sexist In Germany, Too

May 10, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Advertising, Ascension Day, Beer, Drinking, Father's Day, German, Germans, Germany, Lidl, Men, Mother's Day, Sexism, Traditions, Women 1 Comment

Not only are mothers here reduced to cultural stereotypes whenever it is suggested that they might be interested in things like cookbooks, vacuum cleaners, sewing machines and irons, fathers in these parts are not treated any better.

The German Father’s Day stereotype (Father’s Day is today, incidentally) consists of fathers and other so-called “men” celebrating it by turning it into a drunken orgy of day-drinking debauchery in which mindless Herrenparties (gentlemen party groups) pull their ridiculously decorated Bollerwagen (handcarts) filled with booze and food but mostly booze through the countryside or greener urban landscape. It’s scandalous. To assume that all men are interested in that kind of nonsense, I mean.

I’d like to address this subject in a little more detail but I have to go help my neighbor load up our Bollerwagen. It’s getting on noon and we haven’t had a drink yet.

Lidl Germany has come under fire for suggesting people buy their mums cookbooks, vacuum cleaners, sewing machines and irons for Mother’s Day.

The Iran Deal Is Not Dead

May 9, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Ambassador, Berlin, Business, German, Germans, Germany, Iran, Richard Grenell, Sanctions, Trade, Twitter 2 Comments

It just smells funny. At least that’s what Germany seems to think.

You see, spokesmen for German industry plan to call up Donald Trump and explain to him that the “US Iran call is illegal.” Then, once they’ve straightened that up with him, everything ought to be hunky dory, right? And they can go back to getting moola from the mullahs again.

They better hurry up, though. America’s new ambassador to Germany has only been in office for twenty-four hours and already has a really bad case of ITF (Itchy Twitter Finger).

For the past year, German officials have been urging their U.S. counterparts to send a new ambassador to Berlin. But after finally receiving one, many may be having second thoughts.

Within hours of assuming his new post on Tuesday, Richard Grenell triggered harsh criticism in this Trump-weary country after appearing to threaten one of the American president’s frequent targets: German businesses.

“German companies doing business in Iran should wind down operations immediately.”

Turkey

May 8, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Defense, Exports, Germany, NATO, Profits, Submarines, Turkey, Weapons Exports 1 Comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Einen Auftrag zur Aufrüstung von Panzern für die Türkei hatte die Bundesregierung vor einigen Wochen noch gestoppt. Jetzt aber erhält das Land sechs neue Jagd-U-Boote – geliefert von ThyssenKrupp.

PS: Funny how these expensive exports always meet the client’s expectations but the weapons systems used in Germany never seem to work. Hard to believe, actually. It’s almost as if it were intentional. Nah.

“Germany Needs a New Approach to Deport Migrants?”

May 7, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Asylum Seekers, Deportation, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

Yes, it certainly does. It ought to consider trying the so-called “deportation” approach I’ve heard tell about. You know, like actually deporting the hundreds of thousands that have already been turned down?

Germany has a problem with migrants who have been denied asylum. Many of them don’t want to leave, and getting them to go is far from easy.

Last week, police in Ellwangen in the southwestern state of Baden-Wuerttemberg attempted to pick up a 23-year-old Togolese man at a refugee hostel to deport him to Italy, the country where he first crossed the border into the European Union. About 150 other Africans at the hostel wouldn’t allow it. They heavily outnumbered the 24 officers, and forced them to hand over the keys to the man’s handcuffs. The police had to retreat. They returned in force three days later and took the Togolese man away. Twenty-seven of the hostel residents are being held for rioting.

For 2016 and 2017, 406,153 people were denied asylum in Germany. In the same two years, only 49,300 people were deported or left “voluntarily” under pressure from authorities.

Additional Terminal For Berlin Brandenburg Airport Also Not To Be Built On Time If Ever At All

May 4, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, BBA, BER, Berlin, Berlin-Brandenburg Airport, Efficiency, German, Germans, Germany 1 Comment

Flushed with the success of not having been built yet but nobody really seeming to give a shit, Berlin’s hyper-delayed Berlin Brandenburg Airport will soon also not be getting an additional terminal for none of the additional millions of passengers that are almost certainly never going to land here.

Being that the airport was originally planned to open in 2011, Airport operators are playing it safe this time and have scheduled the new terminal to open in October 2074, provided, of course, no unforeseen delays get in the way of all the other unforeseen delays that are invariably going to pop up during non-construction so unforeseenly.

The new airport has defied all clichés of German efficiency: it was meant to open in 2011, but construction problems and technical delays saw the date pushed back repeatedly, leaving the German capital reliant on two small and aging Cold War-era airports.

German Police Stand For The Rule Of Law

May 3, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Deportation, German, Germans, Germany, Law, Migrants, Police, Refugees Leave a comment

When not actually running away, that is.

Around 200 African migrants in refugee accommodation in the small southern German town of Ellwangen have forced police to release a man who was due to be deported to the Congo.

The 23-year-old man was un-handcuffed by police who considered themselves outnumbered after the large crowd of refugees, reportedly mostly African, threatened violence against officers who had arrived in three police cars.

“They were so aggressive and threatened us more and more, so we had to leave the man behind and retreat to the gate [of the refugee facility],” one officer said, adding that there was some damage to the cars.

The migrants then sent a messenger to the police, bearing an ultimatum: that they had to remove the handcuffs from the Congolese national within two minutes, or that they would storm the gate.

The police decided to give the security guard at the refugee facility a key to release the man.

“I can only pay my colleagues great respect for having kept cool heads in such an aggressive and exceptional situation.”

4 Out Of 128 Ain’t Bad

May 2, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Military, NATO, Readiness, Spending 2 Comments

It’s past bad. It’s hilarious.

Only 4 of the Bundeswehr’s 128 Tornadoes are operational.

Maybe that’s why Germany’s defense minister Ursula von der Leyen wants 12 billion euros “more for the German army than current budget plans foresee.” That won’t do it even if she gets it, of course. And to get anywhere near the 2 percent of GDP spending Germany has committed itself to spend you’d need more along the lines of 30 to 40 billion euros. But who’s counting?

Nur 4 von 128 Eurofightern kampfbereit: „Im Ernstfall kann man nur beten.”

Get Your Popcorn Ready

May 1, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Demonstrations, Destruction, Frank Zappa, German, Germans, Germany, Kreuzberg, May !, May Day, Riots, Senseless Violence, Trouble Every Day, Violence 1 Comment

It’s May Day in Berlin! And Berliners are big on tradition.

Tuesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

Berliner Polizei rechnet mit heftigen Krawallen – 5300 Beamte im Einsatz

BREAKING NEWS: Germans Are More Negative Than Americans

April 29, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hostility, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Americans, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, Negativity, Pessimism, Statistics, Studies, Surveys, Trump, USA 2 Comments

When it comes to German-American relations, I mean. Like holy Scheiße! Who would have ever expected that?

And here I thought Germans were such positive, can-do people who have always been so, you know, upbeat and cheerful about German-American relations. In the past, I mean. Right? This just doesn’t make any sense. It’s just not their nature. Somebody should double-check these numbers.

6 charts on how Germans and Americans view one another

1. Americans think U.S.-German relations are in good shape, but Germans disagree.

2. German attitudes toward the U.S. have turned sharply negative in the Trump era.

3. Merkel gets positive reviews from Americans, especially Democrats.

4. Many Germans see the U.S. as a top foreign policy partner; fewer Americans feel the same way about Germany.

5. Democrats are more likely than Republicans to see Germany as an important partner for foreign policy.

6. There are transatlantic differences about defense spending.

Only 11% of Germans expressed confidence in Trump to do the right thing in world affairs in 2017, down from 86% for Obama in 2016.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habitudes