German Of The Day: Tiefer Fall

That means a steep fall. Very steep in this case. Really, really, really steep already.

Fall

You would have to back in history some ninety years to find a comparable peacetime decline in German economic activity.

But why would anybody want to do that?

Germany’s Economic Slump Shows Scale of Europe’s Challenge – The 10.1% drop in output in the region’s largest economy is a harbinger of worse figures elsewhere. Spain, France and Italy will probably report even deeper contractions on Friday, reflecting a recession that prompted an unprecedented policy response from governments.

Man wird in der Geschichte bis zur Weltwirtschaftskrise vor rund neunzig Jahren zurückgehen müssen, um in Friedenszeiten einen vergleichbaren Sturz der wirtschaftlichen Tätigkeit in Deutschland zu entdecken.

German Of The Day: Sperrzone

That means restricted area.

Frankfurt

For law abiding citizens. The rioters will still go wherever they want to go and do whatever they want to do anyway.

Police and security officials in Frankfurt, Germany, announced Monday they have banned late gatherings in that city’s opera square after a party there turned violent over the weekend, resulting in 39 arrests.

German of the Day 2: Migrationshintergrund. That means having a migrant background. As in, “the suspects are between 17 and 23 years of age and predominantly with migrant background.”

Die Tatverdächtigen seien zwischen 17 und 23 Jahre alt und überwiegend mit Migrationshintergrund.

Cows Step On Somebody In Germany

Finally, some good news! A “cow-trampling drama” has taken place.

Cows

If Sommerloch items like this are finally getting reported again then the Corona Panic must be just about over with and we are rapidly returning to normalcy.

Germany: Cow-trampling drama leaves hiker severely injured – A 67-year-old German man has received serious injuries after he was trampled by cows while hiking in Saarland. Police say he was out hiking with his dog when he was knocked to the ground by a herd of cattle.

A warning sign has been placed there, pointing out the dangers of cows and urging hikers to avoid the pasture if there are animals on it.

The Swedes Are All Dying From Corona!

Or so we’ve been hearing in the German media for months (the Swedes weren’t terribly strict about contact restrictions so they were BAD).

Sweden

But Germany just lifted its travel ban to Sweden? I detect a certain dissonance here.

Coronavirus: Germany lifts travel ban on Sweden – Sweden was the last EU country with a travel ban from the German Foreign Ministry.

Germany has lifted a travel ban on Sweden as the number of COVID-19 cases in the Scandinavian country has dropped in July after spiking in June.

China Number One For Germany

And Taiwan is not even number wan. Nor is the regional flag of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, I suppose.

Taiwan

The German Foreign Ministry doesn’t want to possibly offend the Communist rulers in Beijing. This is why they must discriminate. One must discriminate to properly ingratiate.

Taiwan accuses Germany of discrimination after flag removal – The German Foreign Ministry has removed the Taiwanese flag from its website where it describes bilateral relations. Taiwan has expressed its displeasure, citing how other territorial flags remain.

“We have a one-China policy. We do not have diplomatic relations with?Taiwan and?Taiwan?is not a country we recognize.”

Street-Walkers Take To The Streets

Demanding that the government get off their backs.

Streets

Germany’s sex workers demand to go back to work as coronavirus ban continues – Prostitutes in Germany are demanding the right to get back to work as the country’s brothels remain closed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Prostitution is legal and regulated in Germany but the country’s brothels have been closed for almost four months due to the outbreak.

“Mouth-nose masks are already there. We went through everything carefully: we can also offer sexual services under coronavirus protective measures. We find it insulting and incapacitating if we are not trusted.”

Clothes Pins May Also Be Introduced

If you can’t figure out how to wear your face masks properly.

Masks

Berlin hopes especially pungent body odor will force people to wear masks – If the risk of contracting the coronavirus isn’t enough to make you wear a mask properly, then someone else’s pungent body odor will surely suffice.

Public transportation officials in Berlin issued a cheeky recommendation for riders last week to stop wearing deodorant, and let their natural odors waft through the shared air, so others can have their masks fully cover their mouths and noses.

“Given that so many people think they can wear their masks under their noses, we’re getting tough.”

Will It Be A Proper Landing For Lufthansa?

Or will it be more of an arrival?

Lufthansa

Or is it time to say goodbye? I wouldn’t place any bets on this one, folks. Lufthansa got kicked out of the DAX yesterday –  while Wirecard was allowed to stay? Go figure.

Lufthansa, Berlin in eleventh hour bailout rescue attempt – The German government leapt into action Monday (22 June) to rescue a proposed €9 billion coronavirus bailout for Lufthansa that has run into resistance from a billionaire shareholder…

The clock is ticking as Lufthansa shareholders are voting Thursday (25 June) on the rescue plan, which would see Berlin take a 20% stake in the company with the option of adding 5% more in the case of a hostile takeover bid.

Weiterhin keine Einigung zu Stellenabbau bei Lufthansa.

Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

$1.5 Trillion?

There must be a better word than “stimulus” for that.

Stimulus

Wherever medication is given in huge and sudden doses, there’s a risk of unpleasant side effects. In Germany, and Europe generally, one of these may be a lasting shift in governing philosophy from market-friendly policies to state interventionism. That needn’t end in central planning. But even going part of the way would mean buying relief today at the price of misery tomorrow…

First, governments tend to confuse a company’s size with strength. Second, they’re usually worse than private investors at spotting winners, and always worse at pulling money out of losers. Third, they turn the economy into a big lobbying competition for businesses, which eventually hurts taxpayers and consumers.