Next Time You Go Undercover Tell Them You’re A Cop First

And behave with a little more dignity while taking part in violent demonstrations, will you?

Cop

The German justice minister (SPD) is upset that an undercover cop who had infiltrated the Pegida movement in Saxony was doing such a good job at being a right-wing prick that he hassled a camera man from the state broadcaster ZDF and caused uniformed cops to demand the camera man’s papers, preventing him and his other journalist buddies from doing their work.

Sheesh. Can’t anybody take a joke these days? Ain’t no big deal. I think I saw Laurel and Hardy do this once.

“What happened in Saxony is deeply worrying and needs to be urgently and comprehensively investigated.”

PS: They should have seen right off that he was an undercover cop because of that big pixel thingy on his face. Dumb ass journalists.

Must Be The Heat

Modern German war machines aren’t made for it, if you know what I mean.

Heat

German army shows off ailing NATO helicopter – German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen is touring the ranks of the Bundeswehr this summer. But some of the military hardware she is admiring, like the NH90 helicopter, has seen more ground time than flight time.

Mismanagement or routine problems?

Can’t be mismanagement because Frau von der Leyen is Miss Management herself. She has been the Bundeswehr boss for ages now and would never allow this type of thing to happen even though it clearly is happening (a man would have been fired long ago). Besides, she’s one of Chancellor Merkel’s very top girls in the Chancellor Merkel girl group. They’re called The Untouchables.

“We can say that the NH90 has proved its worth.”

How State TV Works

When it comes to the news. Pretty much as you imagine it would. It’s kind of like CNN, only you have to support it with your tax euros whether you want to or not. And there is even less accountability, believe it or not.

Tagesschau

Take a recent murder case in Offenburg, for instance. Please. In what appears to be an unprovoked attack, a Somali migrant is reported to have stormed into a family doctor’s surgery area and stabbed the doctor to death. The man then attacked and wounded a medical assistant before fleeing the scene, where a knife was found by police.

Although clearly of great public interest – it was everywhere else in the papers – Germany’s Tagesschau news program chose not to even mention it. The program’s editor-in-chief doesn’t seem all too concerned about the harsh public cirticism that followed this omission, however. Why should he? It’s not like he can be held accountable or be fired for anything. And the show must go on.

“Wir berichten in der “Tagesschau” über Dinge von gesellschaftlicher, nationaler oder internationaler Relevanz.”

And What About The Illegal Aliens From Outer Space?

World famous for opening their borders to illegal aliens from anywhere and everywhere else in this world, German Green politicians were recently stunned to discover that their government has failed to adequately prepare for the possible arrival of illegal aliens from other worlds.

Aliens

“So how do you organize a welcome party for an alien race?” asked a flustered CDU politician during intense questioning. “You planet!” the Greens shouted back.

The German government says it has made no preparations for the possibility that aliens might land in the European country.

In a response to questions from opposition Green Party lawmaker Dieter Janecek, the government said “there are no protocols or plans for a possible first contact with alien life.”

“A first contact on German territory is extremely unlikely, based on today’s scientific knowledge.”

The Next Level Of Degradation Has Been Reached

Starting next year, Miss Germany contestents will no longer be allowed to wear bikinis. They’re going to march them out there completely naked, I guess.

Bikini

No, wait. It’s even worse than I thought! Instead of bikinis they’re only going to let them wear something called “Sommer-Outfits.” How awful. Awful sounding, I mean. I don’t know what a summer outfit is but I doubt if it tops a bikini.

When is this madness ever going to end? Just because the Miss Germany political correctors suddenly “want to emphasize the personality of Miss Germany” (and blindly follow whatever American political correctors do) doesn’t mean they have the right to spoil the fun for all the young women taking part. And who says their personalities are anybody else’s business anyway? Ever hear of data security? I’m going to “set a signal” and boycott this year’s show.

Auch die “Miss America” in den USA wird inzwischen ohne eine solche Runde gewählt. Das habe mit der Entscheidung des deutschen Pendants jedoch “absolut gar nichts” zu tun.

German Of The Day: Ordnung Muss Sein

That means order must prevail. And prevail it does in Germany, sort of.

Ordnung

This stuff just keeps getting weirder. The recent deportation of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguard and suspected jihadist Sami A. to Tunesia has now been ruled illegal because a last minute fax blocking the decision to deport him was received only after the plane carrying him off to Tunesia had already taken off and this led a higher German court to now order him to be brought back to Germany where he will eventually be deported back to Tunesia again but only after this orderly German deportation process has been carried out in a thoroughly orderly German fashion. I feel like I’m in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest here sometimes, people.

A higher court in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia has ordered the city of Bochum to bring back Sami A., a suspected former bodyguard for Osama bin Laden, who was deported to his native Tunisia last month.

Bochum can appeal the decision in Germany’s top constitutional court in Karlsruhe. But an appeal is not likely to delay the return of the suspect.

Maybe the Tunisians might come through here, though. They are bound to be a little more advanced in matters of jurisprudence.

“The process here in Tunisia is still ongoing, so he has no ID to travel with.”

Just Like That Japanese Reactor

Not quite as dramatic, granted, but just like how Fukushima took down the nuclear power industry in Germany, all it takes is a collapsed highway bridge in Italy to suddenly put Germany’s bridge infrastructure in full tilt crisis mode. You gotta worry about something, after all.

Bridges

The latest reminder of the risks of aging infrastructure came Tuesday, when a highway bridge in Italy collapsed, killing at least 35 people. Germany is also exposed. Its once-envied network of roads, bridges and railways are decaying due to decades of underspending. The country has fallen to 15th in road quality behind Oman and Portugal, according to the World Economic Forum’s competitiveness rankings.

Autobahnbrücken in Deutschland – Jede achte Brücke in schlechtem Zustand.

German Of The Day: Vergewaltigung

That means rape. And three in a row popped up in the news today

Rape

Strange, they never used to be in the news this much. Now hardly a day goes by without a report or two. It’s been, I dunno, two or three years now. Times seem to have gotten a little rougher here in Germany – and elsewhere in Europe – for some reason.

Nach Vergewaltigung in Hamburg Politiker fordern Aufklärung – und Härte… Der Verdächtige ist vorbestraft und sein Asylantrag abgelehnt.

Agreement Kind Of Reached About Actually Sort Of Enforcing A Law That Has Already Been In Effect For Years

Remember when laws used to have to be followed? Me, neither.

Spain

Berlin and Madrid are demonstrating unity with a joint agreement on returning migrants from Germany to Spain. Now Germany wants to seal similar deals with other countries…

Isn’t this already determined by the Dublin Regulation?

Yes, in principle it is. According to the Dublin Regulation, a migrant is supposed to become the responsibility of the country where he or she is first registered. As a rule, it should be the country where they first set foot on European soil. If a refugee comes to Germany and it turns out that he’s already registered in Italy, the German government could send him back there. However, European law also requires it to consider whether it makes more sense for a refugee to stay in Germany — if, for example, they have relatives living here…

Many EU countries consider the Dublin Regulation impracticable. The transfer of migrants from one country to another is extremely time-consuming. Furthermore, many migrants are not even registered at the point when they first set foot on European soil. During her visit to Spain, Merkel too described the Dublin Regulation as “unworkable.”

German Of The Day: Unfassbar

That means unfathomable. As in it being unfathomable” to set free someone who helped the hijackers who seized Flight 11 and Flight 175 out of Boston, launching the War on Terror.

Terror

Mounir el-Motassadeq — who paid tuition and rent for the al-Qaeda killers while they plotted in Hamburg — is being deported back to his native Morocco early. He was sentenced in 2006 to 15 years, but is being given credit for time served, German’s Bild newspaper reported Thursday. He was jailed in November 2001.

“He was found guilty of 246 counts of accessory to murder — one for each of the passengers who died on all the four hijacked flights that day. It’s shocking he only got 15 years and this sends the message the cost of human life is cheap in Germany.”

Das Hanseatische Oberlandesgericht (OLG) hatte Motassadeq wegen Beihilfe zum Mord in 246 Fällen und Mitgliedschaft in einer terroristischen Vereinigung verurteilt.