Germans Hate Monopolies

Unless they are labor monopolies, of course. They’re always showing Verständnis (understanding) for strikes. And this despite the fact that only about a fifth of employees in Germany are union members.

Strike

It might be a bit different this time, however. The latest hostage-taking of millions of German travelers over the weekend (a weekend in which there are more travelers than usual due to school breaks in most German Länder) during a 50+ hour strike by the GDL train drivers’ union is finally starting to piss people off here.

It’s becoming increasing clear that the union’s boss Claus Weselsky, is suffering from “delusions of omnipotence” and that his thirst for power has less to do with the interests of the train drivers then he would like us to believe. And the passengers? What passengers?

By the way, unlike labor monopolies, Germans don’t generally like leaders with “delusions of omnipotence” anymore.

Es ist erstaunlich, dass sich die Lokführer auf dieses Spiel einlassen. Denn Weselsky ist gerade dabei, seine eigene Klientel durch den Dreck zu ziehen. Für die Erschließung neuer Kompetenzfelder lässt er es zu, dass ganz Deutschland aufschreit: Stoppt die Lokführer! Dabei geht es hier gar nicht um die Lokführer. Die werden von der GDL bestens und uneingeschränkt vertreten, selbst wenn sie bei der Konkurrenz organisiert sind.

Because They Can

Train drivers’ union GDL called for the next senseless nationwide strike starting tonight. But all they’re really doing here is showing the other train drivers’ unions out there (there are three, I think) who they think is the baddest union what’s in charge. The main thing is that hostages will be taken.

Strike

Someone once said: “If unions raise wage rates in a particular occupation or industry, they necessarily make the amount of employment available in the occupation or industry less than it otherwise would be – just as any higher price cuts down the amount purchased. The effect is an increased number of persons seeking other jobs, which forces down wages in other occupations.”

I know that this applies to a lesser degree for train drivers but that’s just what you’ve got here in Germany, on a broad scale. The overpaid on the inside and the underpaid on the out. On the down and out? And yet everyone here continues to show “understanding” for strikes like this.

Es ist nicht etwa so, dass die Lokführer mehr Geld fordern und die Bahn ihnen das verweigert. Die Reisenden zeigen Verständnis für einen Streik, den sie nicht einmal ansatzweise durchdrungen haben. “Der GDL-Führung geht es aber darum, das Terrain von Konkurrenzgewerkschaften erobern zu wollen. Dafür nimmt sie Schaden für Kunden, Mitarbeiter und Unternehmen in Kauf.“

Gazprom Gerd Pushing To Pass More Russian Gas

To Germany, that is. Not less (less was yesterday).

Gerd

And being chairman of the Shareholders’ Committee of Nord Stream, the Russian-German natural gas pipeline (51 percent owned by Gazprom, the Russian state gas monopoly), has absolutely nothing whatsoever at all in the slightest to do with this push one itty-bitty tiny little bit.

Former Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (SPD) said Wednesday that Germany should deepen energy ties with Russia and urged an end to sanctions. Schroeder, who served as Social Democratic chancellor from 1998 to 2005, retains close ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin and celebrated his 70th birthday this year in St. Petersburg, where he was photographed in a bear hug with the Russian leader.

“We would be well-advised to further expand this energy and raw materials partnership with Russia.”

German Of The Day: Wetter

No, let’s make that the English word of the day instead. Not Wetter,  German for weather, let’s go with the English word wetter. You know, as in there are few countries out there that could possibly be wetter than Germany?

Wetter

But that doesn’t stop Germans from going completely overboard when it comes to unnecessary water conservation measures, of course (and don’t say you heard it from me but it’s the German water mafia I tell you).

People here are known to flush toilets with old bath water and to take turns bathing in the same tub without refilling it. New German toilets typically use about two gallons of water for a full flush and less than one for water-saving.

Conserving water is an expression of personal virtue and social responsibility. But as scholars, utility managers, and municipal officials point out, there is a dark side to the impulse. Sewage stagnates in too-large canals and noxious gas is corroding cement. Basements in Berlin are flooding because of the rising water table.

“Water Saving in Germany Is Nonsense.”

This Guy Has Definitely Earned His Mickey Mouse Ears

Edward Snowden, that is. Here in Germany, I mean.

Snowden

In Germany, the new Che Guevara wears glasses instead of a beret, wields a computer rather than a shotgun, and is popping up on the streets of the German capital in graffiti, posters, and T-shirts.

The German War Machine She Is Broken

Only half of Germany’s Eurofighters are operational. Of Germany’s 180 tanks (total), only 70 are ready to roll.

Army

But honestly, who cares? Where would these tanks roll to even if they could roll? Other than over and die, I mean.

This “shocking” new revelation that doesn’t shock anybody who has lived in this country for more than five minutes is just another one of these  famous German Scheindiskussionen (mock discussions). Everybody here knows that even if all of this equipment was in perfect working condition it would never be used anyway. It’s at times like these when everyone else in the world can see what the German army really is: An Alibi Army (you can’t sell expensive weapons systems without having an army to justify why you built them). Not that anybody out there could care less or anything. But still.

Nur 42 der 74 verfügbaren Eurofighter der Luftwaffe sollen für Ausbildung, Übungsflüge oder Einsatz bereitstehen, bei den Tornado-Jägern seien es nur 38 von 66. Von den 43 aktuell verfügbaren Transall-Maschinen C160 könnten demnach nur 24 starten, beim Transporthubschrauber CH-53 seien nur 16 von 43 einsatzbereit…

Das Oktoberfest Hat Begonnen!

O’zapft is!

Munich pukes

Oktoberfest guests probably don’t want to turn up on this site after their visit: “München kotzt” (Munich pukes) documents the low points of the world’s largest Volksfest.

Auf dieser Seite möchte man nach dem Oktoberfest-Besuch lieber nicht auftauchen: “München kotzt” dokumentiert die Tiefpunkte des weltgrößten Volksfestes.

German Of The Day: Frieden Schaffen Ohne Arbeitsplätze

Ohne Waffen natürlich. That means “make peace without weapons.” Or in this case without jobs?

Tank

After Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) recently announced that he will tighten rules on arms exports from Germany (the world’s third largest arms exporter) in the coming months, Germany’s defense industry lobby has fired back with the warning that “these companies are looking into shifting production abroad.”

The defense industry employs about 80,000 people in Germany.

It is unclear at the moment which weapon the Economy Minister will pull out now to make peace with next.

“Wenn mein Land bei mir nicht kauft und mir gleichzeitig sagt, du darfst nicht exportieren, dann halte ich das nicht lange durch.”

Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Like, duh. Because they’re the ones who have it all.

Cash

But the real point isn’t that Germans love cash. It’s that—for the same historical reasons—they loathe debt. (Armchair anthropologists have also long noted that German word for debt—Schulden—comes from the word for guilt, Schuld.)…

In other words, the German tendency to settle up in cash undeniably reflects the fact that for much of the last century, Germany has been either on the brink of, in the midst of, or struggling to recover from, disaster. And traumas like that are bound to leave, if you’ll excuse the pun, a mark.

Forget About The Scots

Now it’s time to get the Bavarians outta here!

Bavaria

In further signs that the Scottish referendum on independence is inspiring secessionist movements across Europe, Germany’s Bavaria Party has signalled its support for the Scottish Yes campaign amidst hopes that Bavaria could also become independent.

This was to be expected, I guess. But I’m just not sure yet if these are the Bavarians who want Bavaria to secede or the rest of Germany.

Wollt Ihr nich auch die Bayern loswerden? Dann wählt die Bayernpartei.