Euro Hawk Actually Euro Turkey

Just when Germans thought that they could own a drone of their own, one of those fancy European-made Euro Hawk drone type drones, somebody finally did the math and figured out that the 508 million euros already spent for the prototype had already been more than enough already.

Drone

Now Germany is in talks with Israel on buying something called a Heron TP drone instead. I assume that the TP stands for Total Preiswert (totally inexpensive) and this is definitely the way to go because if you absolutely positively have to own killing machines that you will never ever use in a million years anyway, cheapness is what you want.

Berlin sucht den Drohnen-Depp!​

Barbie Must Die

And the “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” must be wiped from our collective memory. And said dreamhouse must be razed to the ground, too. This is because Barbie is a clear and present danger and a real threat. At least here in Berlin it is.

Barbie

And as far as I can tell, these are the German feministic reasons for this:

Everything is pink. Barbie and her Dreamhouse are a “pink-colored, sparkling world of beautiful illusion.”

There is an “endless” closet, cupcake baking kitchen, fashion runway and pop-star karaoke stage” inside (OK, I’m with them when it comes to this part).

The Dreamhouse gives “children the chance to taste the sweet nectar of life as a doll” and the protestors don’t like “pretty propaganda” like this.

They find it unfair that “not many women have the possibility of creating such a life for themselves.”

They think that Barbie is a role model that makes young girls want to “always look good, and to cook and clean.”

Barbie and her Dreamhouse “lead to eating disorders,” too.

And on and on and on. The head feminist, Michael Koschitzki, a member of the far-left Left Party’s youth organization, has spearheaded the protest movement against the Dreamhouse, printing thousands of flyers and calling on fellow feminists to gather outside for speeches and protest outside the temporary attraction on Thursday.

I’m speechless, almost. And I’m not making any of this stuff up, either. And these aren’t little girls cranking out this nonsense. These are real live feminist grownup human beings openly calling to picket a Barbie house, albeit a “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” kind of house, but still. And the worst part of all this? The Barbie Dreamhouse Experience will be charging adults €15 just to get in.

“Barbie has again become a tool for some to advance their own agenda.”

Harrowing Scenes Involving Nazis?

In a Wagner opera? What will they think of next?

Opera

I mean, it’s not like Wagner could ever be accused of having been an anti-Semite or anything.

The Rheinoper, based in Dusseldorf, said some of the audience had to seek medical help following early performances of Tannhauser.

But the producer “refused” to tone down the staging, set in a concentration camp during the Holocaust.

“With paramount concern, we note that some scenes (especially the shooting scene) were depicted very realistically.”

PS: Speaking of needing medical attention, happy Vatertag already!

Where’s The Pointy Hat?

A garden gnome or lawn gnome or in this case Karl Marx gnome is a figurine of a small humanoid creature, usually wearing a pointy hat, produced for the purpose of ornamentation and protection from evil sorcery, which is typically placed on front lawns or in gardens.These figurines originated in 19th-century Germany, where they became known as Gartenzwerg (garden dwarf).

Marx

Gartenzwerg should not be confused with Giftzwerg here, however. A Giftzwerg is a poison dwarf or a poisonous little man. Not unless you want to confuse the two, I mean.

“I want to inspire pedestrians to think about Karl Marx in a different way.”

Dumm Gelaufen

Hard luck – for this not-tricky-enough maneuver by a group of German Dornier 17 bombers near Kent in the summer of 1940. For this one plane in particular, I should say (very interesting video). But, in a way, it turned out to be good luck for all of us now.

Dornier 17

The plane in question is believed to have crashed on 26 August 1940, brought down by an RAF fighter called the Boulton-Paul Defiant.

The stricken bomber flew south, rapidly losing power and height. The pilot tried to bring his plane down on the water. But when his wingtip touched the surface, he lost control and the plane apparently flipped, coming to rest on its back. The pilot and observer survived; the other two crew members died.

“This aircraft is going to be the only one of its type in existence in the world. There are little bits and pieces – the RAF Museum have a tail section, for one. But this aircraft is complete and therefore its price from a historical viewpoint is invaluable.”

Spring Is In The Air Right Now

Here in Berlin. Just like the teargas will be tomorrow.

Demo

And if we’re really lucky, we’ll have a good old-fashioned senselessly violent “Antikapitalistischen Walpurgisnacht” (anti-capitalist Walpurgis Night) tonight, too!

So y’all have a wonderful German May Day celebration, ya-here (not established as a public holiday until 1933)?

In der Vergangenheit war es in Berlin in der Walpurgisnacht und am 1. Mai häufig zu gewalttätigen Ausschreitungen am Rand von Demonstrationen der linken Szene gekommen. In diesem Jahr wollen sowohl linke Gruppen als auch die NPD in Berlin demonstrieren.

Vote For Us And We’ll Raise Your Taxes (As In Their Taxes)

Ever feel like you fell down the rabbit hole? Spend some time in Germany and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Equality

Only in Germany can a political party go for (and actually get) votes by promising to raise taxes.

Delegates at a Greens party convention in Berlin yesterday voted through plans to raise the top rate of income tax to 49 percent for those earning 80,000 euros ($104,000) a year or more, and to 45 percent from 42 percent above 60,000 euros. They also backed a “wealth levy” on the richest to pay down 100 billion euros of Germany’s state debt over 10 years.

And a whole lot of German voters actually get excited about this kind of nonsense. It’s often a zero-sum mentality game over here, you see. You know, the way of thinking that hinges on the notion that there must be one winner and one loser and for every gain there is a loss? Take from the rich and give to the poor, in other words. Or Umverteilung (redistribution), if you prefer.

Of course what the Green Shirts are actually doing is selling “equality” where there is a huge demand and buying Neid (envy) where there is an even bigger supply.

“Nirgendwo in der OECD ist die Ungleichheit so schnell gestiegen wie in Deutschland.”

The Richard Wagner Bicentennial Jubilee Fun Time Celebration Bash Is Well Underway

But the Partystimmung (party atmosphere) can be a little problematic at times.

Wagner

How do you celebrate the bicentenary of a great composer who also happened to be an anti-Semite, who posthumously inspired Hitler, and whose works featured prominently in the cultural life of the Third Reich?

That’s easy, really. You do what you’ve got to do with Wagner (if you’re a Wagner fan or a German unable to ignore him). As Friedrich Nietzsche said 125 years ago: “The Germans have cooked up a Wagner whom they can honor. And they are thankful for being able to misunderstand him.”

And as Woody Allen said quite some time later: “I just can’t listen to any more Wagner, you know…I’m starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”

“Die Deutschen haben sich einen Wagner zurechtgemacht, den sie verehren können: … sie sind damit dankbar, dass sie missverstehn.”

 

This Was Not Planned So It Cannot Be Happening

Or will not be happening, I should say.

Fracking

As you know, Germany is green. And Germans are greener than green. Why, Germans are so green that Jamaicans want to roll them up and smoke them.

And Germans also like sticking to “the plan,” too (think Stalingrad). So they do not, I repeat do not appreciate it when, as in this case, their ambitious environmental plans get disturbed by unforseen technological developments that were not considered in the original plan and therefore start turning the whole Schlamassel (mess) into a really, really big and annoying, well, Schlamassel (think Stalingrad again).

It goes like this: “Ambitious environmental goals are far less meaningful if the economy withers in achieving them.” So when something really tempting comes along like shale gas drilling (hydraulic fracturing or “fracking”), a technology that could give Germany access to enough reserves to feed natural gas demand for 20 years, then that gets not-so-thoroughly-green people (yes, there still are a few specimens left) to thinking, plan or not.

So there we have it. And that’s the end of it (ask any German Green Shirt). Fracking can’t happen here. It is ideologically inadmissable. Fracking is something that those crazy Americans and their evil multi-national oil companies do, not us (multi-national oil companies are always American, by the way – don’t ask). Nope, fracking can never happen here. Never in a million years. Not this year anyway.

“We are sitting on Swiss cheese. The risks are just too high.”