Germany Wins

Yawn. And nobody in Germany cares.

Germany

Germany was picked to host the 2024 European soccer championship and everybody is thrilled as can be. Not.

Berliners will probably even start organizing protests about holding any of the matches in the nation’s capital. They recently did their best to sabotoge Germany’s bid for the Olympics, too. They’re just Neinsager kind of folks, folks.

I feel sorry for the Turks. They have been turned down to host the EM 2008, 2012 and 2016 already. They would have been enthusiastic about hosting the event in their country but hey, it’s just sports. Curb your enthusiasm already.

Die Türkei scheiterte damit wie zuletzt bei den vergeblichen Anläufen für die EM 2008, 2012 und 2016.

Germans Feeling Gloomy?

Wow. We’ve never had that one before.

Gloomy

The German economy is booming. Unemployment is at a near-record low. In Europe and around the world, the country is seen as a beacon of wealth and efficiency.

So what’s so mysterious about their gloom? This is Germany. Duh. How could Germans not get gloomy about a situation like that?

But maybe, just maybe, with a little luck things will start to crap out here before too long and everybody can start cheering up again.

Es war einmal ein starkes Land.

German Of The Day: Beschönigen

That means to whitewash.

Merkel

And as Angela Merkel herself says, there is nothing to whitewash about her party’s decision to refuse reelecting her man Volker Kauder as CDU party whip. They elected the Merkel critical Ralph Brinkhaus instead.

The natives are getting restless. The AfD keeps growing in popularity. Her coalition partner SPD is still dead and getting deader by the minute. Now her own party members are trying their hand at open rebellion. Other than that, though, everyhing is looking just fine.

“Das ist eine Stunde der Demokratie, in der gibt es auch Niederlagen, und da gibt es auch nichts zu beschönigen.”

It’s Not Supposed To Grow

The AfD’s popularity. But it keeps on growing. How can that be?

AfD

Anyone “good German” you ask will explain to you that the AfD is “bad” and “racist” and “Nazi” and “completely unacceptable.” The friendly people from the German media will explain that to you, too. How could such an awful group of people keep on growing in popularity? Something must be wrong somewhere. What on earth could it be?

The AFD is benefiting from being the official opposition to Chancellor Merkel’s grand coalition government. Polls rate it Germany’s second most popular party, dropping the Social Democrats to third.

They Used To Call It Inner Emigration

Now Germans do their inner emigration openly.

Exile

Peter Fitzek rules over a kingdom, and he has the passport to prove it. 

Bound in white, the passport gives Mr Fitzek’s name only as Peter I. His title is boldly stated: “King of Germany”. The issuing authority is the Kingdom of Germany, a pseudo-state founded by Mr Fitzek in 2012 that claims to have more than 250 citizens.

The kingdom is near the eastern German city of Wittenberg, and covers only a hectare. Mr Fitzek insists it meets all the criteria of an independent country, and that neither Germany’s law nor government hold sway within its borders. The kingdom has a flag and crest, a constitution and bank, a separate health insurance and pension system, and even a currency: the E-Mark…

Political analysts argue that the movement, whose members are usually referred to as Reichsbürger (citizens of the Reich) or Selbstverwalter (self-administrators), is a symptom of the same political malaise that has fuelled the rise of the Alternative for Germany (AfD), the far-right party that won 13 per cent of the vote at last year’s general election.

“What you see is a deeply-rooted dissatisfaction that becomes so radical that people want to drop out of the federal republic altogether.”

Thirty Minutes

Is that a new record?

Monk

It only took thirty minutes for a fake monk to become this Wiesen season’s first Bierleiche. That’s right. The guy was dressed up like a freakin’ monk. But don’t worry about it. He’s in a better place now.

Der Mann habe eine Mönchskutte getragen, sagte die Sprecherin des Sanitätsdienstes Aicher Ambulanz, Ulrike Krivec. “Wir dachten, dass es ein Mönch ist.” Im Laufe der Behandlung habe sich aber herausgestellt, dass es sich bei dem etwa 50 Jahre alten Wiesngast nicht um einen Ordensmann handelte.

German Of The Day: Fremdschämen

That means feeling shame on someone else’s behalf. You know, like for the SPD? The party you just left because you can’t take it anymore?

Fremdschämen

The SPD mayor of Freiberg just tossed in the towel and left the SPD. He had tried to get the party leadership to consider a four-year immigration stop for any new refugees in the hopes of stopping what he saw to be a shift in the public’s mood. He was ignored, of course.

Tired of them refusing to listen to what his constituents on the street in the real world have to say, he announced his departure from the party with a post on Facebook, noting that “if you look at what’s going on in Berlin these days the word “Fremdschämen” doesn’t even come close to how I feel about it.”

“Schaut man diese Tage nach Berlin, drückt das Wort ‚Fremdschämen‘ nicht einmal ansatzweise aus, was ich derzeit empfinde.“

Isn’t Anyone Going To Do Anything About This?

The great German beer crisis? Demand is falling, people. And I can only drink so much on my own.

Beer

Demand is falling in a country where there are more than 6,000 different brands of beer. The theory goes that you could drink a different one each day for more than 16 years without having to taste the same one twice. In fact, today fewer Germans regularly drink beer at all. Since the early 1990s, domestic consumption has dropped by more than a quarter. Consumption per head peaked in 1976 and has been falling ever since. The result has left mass-market brewers suffering from overcapacity and fighting a long-running price war. More than two-thirds of all the beer sold in supermarkets is offered at a discount.

“How is it that one of the world’s biggest export nations, and one so obsessed with beer quality, fails to woo international drinkers?”

Germans Are Green-Minded?

Yeah, I guess. Unless it has to do with their cars.

Because when it comes to the numerous environmental and other crimes committed by VW, BMW, Mercedes & Co. (Dieselgate is just the tip of the iceberg), German car owners just don’t care. These companies could march into to Poland and nobody would say anything.

BMW

Germans are fastidious about separating trash into different recycling bins and have spent untold billions on the so-called Energiewende, the transition from nuclear and fossil-burning fuels for electricity generation to renewable sources.

Just don’t mess with their cars. It may be a cliché that Germans are obsessed with their four-wheeled companions, but that doesn’t make any less true. While all other major sources of greenhouse gas emissions, from households to industry, have seen declines since 1990, transport emissions, which account for 20 percent of the total, have increased.

Die Europäische Kommission lässt bei ihren Kartell-Ermittlungen gegen BMW, Daimler und Volkswagen nicht locker. Die Behörde werde in einer förmlichen Prüfung untersuchen‚ ob die Konzerne unerlaubte Absprachen bei Abgas-Systemen für Diesel- und Benzinmotoren getroffen haben.