Where Have All The Occupiers Gone?

July 20, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Capitalism, Demonstrations, Frankfurt, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Satire, The Occupy Movement, Wall Street Leave a comment

Wo sind sie geblieben?

Remember when an occupy camp used to be an occupy camp? When a man was a man and a woman was a woman and the occupy movement was a joke? Oh sure, it still is, but who cares anymore?

Now, at least for the occupy camp in front of the European Central Bank in Franfurt, “garbage, rats, social distress and addiction problems have pushed the captitalism protests into the background.”

We will yet overcome or something.

Müll und Ratten sowie soziale und Suchtprobleme haben den kapitalismuskritischen Protest längst in den Hintergrund gedrängt.

Grumbling German Jihadis Go Home

July 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Goodbye Deutschland, Humor, Islam, Islamic Terror, Jihad, Pakistan, Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Training Camps, TV Leave a comment

The German jihad just ain’t what it used to be.

A lot like those disgruntled Auswanderer (emigrant) types on Goodby Deutschland who invariably tuck in their tails and head back home in disgrace, hundreds of aspiring Islamic terrorists from Germany (and their families) have had it up to here already in Waziristan and are heading back to Deutschland in frustration and disgust.

It turns out that their living conditions in the mountains were tougher and less romantic than those portrayed in the promotional clips and what with the disease and the hardship and death always raining down from the sky from American drones and dozens of German combatants already dead, hey, not even going back to live in Germany seemed all that bad a prospect anymore.

What do you think? Which one of these guys is going to turn out to be the next Daniela Katzenberger?

“The first time I heard about going to Pakistan, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I didn’t even know if you could get Pampers there.”

We Must Save The World But It Must Be Affordable

July 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Energy Turnaround, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Cheap, in other words.

Germans everywhere are slowly waking up to the fact that their revolutionary switch to renewable energy sources is going to cost way too way much more than they ever thought they would ever have to pay – and the German government has now woken up to this.

That is why they have now begun a quiet backpedaling policy designed to prepare the German population for a slow turnaround from the energy turnaround that hasn’t even begun to turn around yet.

“For me it’s a priority that electricity remains affordable,” Germany’s new Environment Minister Peter Altmaier says, for instance.

He also says he doubts that Germany will be able to reach its goal of introducing one million electric cars by 2020.

Nor does he think that Germany will be able to cut its energy consumption by 10 percent that year, a precondition for reaching the illusory goal of 35 percent renewables the government is still aiming for, sort of.

This is the German Environment Minister talking here, folks. So you get the message, don’t you? And if you don’t get it now, you’ll get it later.

Regierung fürchtet die Strompreis-Wut der Wähler

Bundeswehr On The Front Line Again

July 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms Sales, Army, Berlin, Bundeswehr, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Sales, Ships, The Military, Weapons, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

When it comes to fighting for German weapon system exports, I mean. Talk about your military industrial complex. The Germans sure have one – and are clearly in denial about it – which is the real news item here if you ask me. Take the latest sale of frigates to Algeria, for instance (I mean please).

These pacifistic (German made) and very expensive peaceships not only make big profits for traditional Waffenschmiede (weapons makers) like Thyssen-Krupp Marine-Systeme, they finally give Germany’s alibi army something vernünftig (reasonable) to do: Train the folks who might actually be using these weapons one day – and in a thoroughly German thorough way, too, I am sure.

Who says the Bundeswehr isn’t an effective force? No, not a fighting one, as a sales force.

“Die Ausbildung wird in Deutschland und auf Hoher See stattfinden.”

Circumcision Decision Revision

July 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Church and State, Custom, German, Germans, Germany, Government, Government Interference, Jews, Law, Muslims, Religion, Ritual 1 Comment

Not that there was ever much doubt about it. That it would come to a big backpedaling Aktion, I mean.

The German government says Jewish and Muslim communities should be able to continue the practice of circumcision, after a regional court ruled it amounted to bodily harm.

That’s what can happen when you have that pressing need to fix things that aren’t broken.

“Circumcision carried out in a responsible manner must be possible without punishment.”

That Didn’t Take Long

July 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Health, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Church and State, Circumcision, Courts, German, Germans, Germany, Government, Jews, Judges, Law, Muslems, Religion, Ritual, State, The Judicial System, Tradition Leave a comment

“We urge the Jewish community in Germany and circumcisers to continue to perform circumcisions and not to wait for a change in the law.”

A German court’s ban on circumcising baby boys has provoked a rare show of unity between Jews, Muslims and Christians who see it as a threat to religious freedom, while doctors warn it could increase health risks by forcing the practice underground.

Die Positionen zur Beschneidung waren bei Anne Will unversöhnlich, am härtesten stritten ein Rabbiner und ein Strafrechtler.

The German Sommerloch

July 10, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Media, News, News Reporting, Newspapers, Satire, Slow News Season 3 Comments

It’s here (the German “summer hole“). So get used to it. And remember: If it wasn’t for slow news (see yesterday’s post), we wouldn’t have no news at all.

Or as one paper here put it: “Exotic Animals in a Summer Loch Ness.”

Hey, news is a product, folks. And production is down.

In the United States the period is referred to prosaically as the slow news season.

Next Imaginary Crocodile Sighting Underway

July 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Alligators, Berlin, Crocodiles, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Monsters, Paranoia, Satire, Scary Animals, Wild Animal Sightings, Wild Animals Leave a comment

Germans are totally tierlieb (fond of animals). Especially when they are the exotic and preferably dangerous kind of Tier they regularly think they see but never manage to find lurking about in the German Wildnis (wilderness).

This time it’s another crocodile, somewhere near Regensburg (with an emphasis on the crock here, folks). A guy out on a walk and “a lady on an air mattress” both saw the horrible creature so we can be sure that this time the danger is clear and present.

These are obligatory annual sightings, by the way. I don’t know why that it, but you have to have at least one here every summer. It has to do with the infamous German Sommerloch (which is just about to start), I think, but that’s another story.

Die Polizei in Bayern hat mit Schlauchbooten, Tauchern und sogar einem Hubschrauber nach einem Krokodil in einem Badesee gesucht – bisher erfolglos.

The Protective Hand

July 8, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Anarchists, Anarchy, Berlin, Communism, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Left-Wing Terror, RAF, Revolution, Terrorism, Terrorists, The Judicial System, Trials Leave a comment

You’ve heard of the invisible hand being everywhere in the free market system, right? Well if you’re a left-wing terrorist in Germany you can count on having a protective hand taking care of you, too. When it comes to the German justice system, I mean.

Four years for being an accessory to murder? Deduct the trial time, which they already have, and RAF terrorist Verena Becker will be out on the street in no time (the safe German street, now that the RAF isn’t active there anymore).

What can I say? The German judicial system has ein Herz für linke Terroristen (left-wing terrorists). They are the ones who are always the Opfer (the victims). The system made them that way or something. That’s why this article confirms “that the sentence was relatively light, but that’s a good thing.” Why that’s a good thing is still not clear to me. But I’m not German.

Germany’s Federal Interior Ministry insists that portions of the BfV files on Becker will remain confidential, as will passages in the documents related to when she was pardoned in 1989 by then German President Richard von Weizsäcker. All of this incomprehensible secretiveness has only contributed to fostering more speculation.

Michael Buback, the son of the murdered prosecutor, added some emotional moments to the trial. In a statement before the court, the chemistry professor from Göttingen admitted to feeling “attacked, insulted and disparaged” by federal prosecutors. What’s more, he accused investigators of having held a “protective hand” over Becker.

172 Economists Can’t Be Wrong

July 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Banking, Berlin, Debt, Economics, Economists, Economy, German, Germans, Germany, The Euro, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone 1 Comment

Right? Right.

We have to approach this differently, folks. Pick an economist. Pick five. Find one that has ever been right. When it comes to dire warnings about the future, I mean.

Sure, I don’t like the idea of Angela Merkel deciding “to agree to allow eurozone bail-out funds to support sinner states” either, but if 172 economists are all hot and bothered about it, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad decision after all.

“First of all, this is about better banking supervision, and one can only say that that is urgently necessary.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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