Let Us All Learn Together

September 6, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Hypocrisy, Manuela Schwesig, Private Schools, Public Schools, Schools, Social Democracy, SPD 1 Comment

And hold hands together. And show solidarity for one another. You know, all that kind of wonderful gooey fooey social activist stuff that “Social” Democrats do.

But even though I’m a big time SPD public school education advocate and multi-cultural integration cheerleader poster girl kinda woman – and former Federal Minister for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth and current Minister President of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania – I still prefer to send my kid to a private school, if you don’t mind. Even if you do mind I’ll be sending my kid to a private school. There’s way less riff-raff there.

Mecklenburg-Vorpommerns Ministerpräsidentin Manuela Schwesig (SPD) steht wegen der Entscheidung, ihr älteres Kind, Sohn Julian (10), zum Schuljahresbeginn auf eine Privatschule zu schicken, in der Kritik. Nach Ansicht der Links-Opposition im Landtag offenbart der Schritt die Mängel und Lücken im staatlichen Schulsystem.

Germany Wants Code Of Ethics For Driverless Cars?

September 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Humor Tags: Driverless Cars, Driving, Ethics, German, Germans, Germany, Self-driving Cars Leave a comment

Why? What a complete waste of time and money. Driverless cars could only be more ethical than the ones with drivers in them. At least here they would be.

Here are just a few of the new ethical rules self-driving cars are going to have to follow once they are introduced in Germany:

1. No tailgating any closer than six inches while you’re doing 180 or higher on the Autobahn.

2. No pointing repeatedly to your non-existent head screaming at the top of your non-existent lungs about what a bunch of insufferable idiots all these other cars with drivers in them are.

3. No fist fighting over parking spaces because you don’t have any fists, you big dummy. Just run over the guy and that space is yours.

4. In “dilemma situations” when a crash is imminent, do not prioritize a human’s potential worth based on age, gender, race, physical attributes or political affiliation as all humans are equally worthless in the end.

5. If a collision is unavoidable be sure to have a little fun on your way out by making it a really, really big collision. Any human who survives is going to win in court anyway.

“All humans are considered equal for the poruposes of harm minimisation.”

Plague Beats Cholera

September 4, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Debates, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, Schultz, TV 4 Comments

That was a debate? I’d say that’s debatable.

Aren’t these two the heads of the parties that form the current coaltion government in Germany? What on earth are two people who are condemmed to agree about everything they do going to debate about? That’s right. Nothing. And that’s what we got last night. A whole lot of it.

German of the day: Schnarch. That means snore.

The leaders of Germany’s two biggest parties went head to head on TV for the only time ahead of the September 24 vote. Merkel and Schulz sparred on topics ranging from migration to foreign policy.

Maybe The Taliban Could Run For Election Here, Too

September 3, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Horror, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, MLPD, PFLP, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

The German election system certainly is a transparent one. It is easy for anyone here who is interested to see, for instance, that Germany’s Bundeswahlleiter (Federal Election Commissioner), whoever that might be, has one hell of a sense of humor.

He/she has allowed the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), an Iran-backed terror group, to campaign as a political party in this month’s parliamentary election. The punch line, I guess, or one of them, is that the PFLP plans to run with the Marxist-Leninist Party of Germany.

No one here is interested, however. Why should they be? The PFLP is just another one of those boring, everyday German political parties that puts everybody asleep. Sure, it’s been linked to numerous terror incidents and killings and all that but it’s not like it’s the AfD or anything.

Die MLPD betreibt jetzt Wahlkampf als internationalistische Liste/MLPD, unter anderem mit der palästinensischen Terrororganisation PFLP, die durch Anschläge bekannt wurde.

How Poor Is Germany?

September 1, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Aid, Brexit, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Poverty, Scams, Subsidies 2 Comments

Why Germany is so poor it can’t even put its two cents in the conversation.

Poor? Germany is so poor it scams the Nigerians.

Germany is poor. It’s so poor it drives a Poor-shh.

And to top these jokes off, Germany is so poor that German states like Brandenburg will continue to need aid from the European Union for, like, well… Forever.

Remember: “The state (or in this case the über-suprranational-EU-state) is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.”

Brandenburg darf aus Sicht von Finanzminister Christian Görke (Linke) bei künftigen notwendigen Haushaltseinsparungen der Europäischen Union nicht belastet werden.

Russians Hack German Vote-O-Meter In Futile “Trump For Chancellor” Bid

August 31, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Political Parties, Voting, Wahl-O-Meter 3 Comments

Germany’s infamous Wahl-O.Meter app, a popular program that uses a series of questions to help undecided German voters (some 50 percent of the electorate) find the political party that suits them best, has been compromised by a group of mean and nasty Russian hackers, apparently in a vain attempt to get Donald Trump elected Chancellor of Germany.

Unfortunately, however, there is no such thing as a direct ballot for the office of German Chancellor so that “went into the pants” (was a complete flop), as the Germans like to say. But you can’t blame those clever Ruskies for not trying.

Since its inception 15 years ago, the Wahl-O-Mat’s main focus has been to mobilize younger voters. In fact, all 38 questions posed in the app chosen by a group of young and first-time voters. “Young people have contributed towards this product, which is aimed at furthering the political education,” Krüger said. “That is what lies at the very core.”

German Of The Day: Familienzusammenführung

August 29, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, Courts, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Law, Migrants, Refugees, Syria 2 Comments

That means family reunification. And that is what 390,000 Syrian asylum seekers in Germany have now been granted.

Meaning? Meaning, of course, that 390,000 Syrian families (families, not individuals) still in Syria will now be given asylum in Germany, too (probably to include Cousin It, Uncle Fester und the neighbor’s dog). They will only be staying here temporarily, however. Just like the first wave that organized this second one, see? So it ain’t no big deal or anything. And the German government has money to burn. Or sure seems to.

390 000 Syrer dürfen ihre Familien nachholen.

Do They Have A Marxist-Leninist Animal Protection Party, Too?

August 28, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berln, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties 1 Comment

They are an endangered species, after all. Maybe not in Berlin. But everywhere else they are – aren’t they?

German political parties are not as boring as you think they are. They are much more boring than you can possibly imagine. But some of them are also just plain wacky. Wacky and boring. It’s a new level of boring. Wacky-boring, I guess. I can’t say if it’s higher or lower but it’s a new level.

Take the V-Partei³, for instance. Please. Voters almost across the board can vote for the V-Partei³ (the V-cubed party) – the party for “Veränderung” (“change” in English), Vegetarians and Vegans. Founded in 2016 at the Veggieworld trade fair in Munich, the party has about 1,200 members. By 2030, they’d like to see all butchers go out of business, true to their motto: “We love life.”

Germany’s election campaign is a snooze—just the way Merkel likes it.

Invite Unilaterally, Distribute Fairly

August 27, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees 3 Comments

No, that is not an election campaign motto, although it sure could be. That, of course, is the well known thought process (for lack of a better term) behind Angela Merkel’s decision to open Germany’s borders to refugees back in 2015.

This thought process was not well thought out, however. To put it mildly. That Germany is located in the center of Europe and thus far away from Europe’s actual southern border, for example, a border which we have now learned does not even exist, is one itsy bitsy problem here.

Countries like Italy and Greece are completely swampted now, of course. This is because countries like Austria took care of Germany’s problem by closing their borders. Now Angela Merkel is calling once again for a fairer distribution of refugees. Like for the eighty-seventh time already. But it is not clear what she means (what part of no don’t you understand?). Does she mean Italy and Greece when she calls for EU countries to show more solidarity in taking in the refugees? Which refugees does she mean? The million or two who made it into Germany before reality made sure legality got switched back on again – or the latest batch?

Using a complex mathematical formula I have just worked out, I would say that the whole thing is an incredibly big ugly mess caused by no one other than the German chancellor and that it is up to Germany now to take care of this problem. But that’s just me. Elections are approaching in Germany and her popularity here is as high as it has ever been. And no, I don’t have a complex mathematical formula to explain that. I am not in that league.

“I would take all the important decisions of 2015 the same way again.”

Many Sides To Blame

August 25, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bans, Far-left Violence, G20, German, Germans, Germany, Linksunten, Radicals, Violence, Websites 2 Comments

What, here in Germany, too? Who would have thought that?

Germany has banned a far-left internet portal accused of inciting violence and rallying activists who rioted during last month’s G20 summit in Hamburg.

How refreshing. Who says you have to always insist on focusing on the negative news reports out there?

“Für radikale gewaltbereite Extremisten ist in Deutschland kein Platz, egal welche Ausrichtung.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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