Veil, What Will They Think Of Next?

Veiling German women? What a tremendous waste of natural resources that would be.

Veils

German Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) said the move to ban ads which “reduce women or men to sexual objects” is an attempt to create a “modern gender image”.

The important thing to note here folks are the three letters S, P and D. Support for Germany’s Social Democratic party has now slumpted to an all-time historical-like low (around 20 percent). But now, at the very latest, we at least understand why.

The plan has been called political correctness gone mad by its critics, who said it was the first step towards a “nanny state”. It comes following a controversy over claims made by a senior politician that schools and canteens in Germany are ‘banning’ the serving of pork to avoid offending Muslim migrants.

“To demand the veiling of women or taming of men, is something known among radical Islamic religious leaders, but not from the German minister of justice.”

Boaring

Like what’s the pig deal? I guess you could say I am disgruntled, folks.

Pig

Sow what do you mean that some politicians in Schleswig-Holstein want pork products removed from “cafes, daycare centers and state schools across the state to prevent offending Muslims?”

Well, I’m with some of their reactionary colleagues who are now campaigning to make pork mandatory in public canteens and schools there.

I’m rooting for them, so-to-speak. One should never truffle with tradition.

Dienstag ist Schwienstag. Die Geschichte einer vermeidbaren Sauerei.

This Is The Monster We Are Supposed To Hate

Get used to her face, too.

Petry

Her name is Frauke Petry and Angela Merkel’s refugee policy fiasco, and her refugee policy fiasco alone, is virtually assuring her party’s entry and establishment in the German political landscape and it is unfortunately too late now to do anything about it.

Petry says outrageous things like “People must stop migrants from crossing illegally from Austria into Germany. If necessary, through the use of firearms. I don’t want this, but the use of armed force is there as a last resort.”

Imagine that, suggesting the use of firearms to protect your borders as a last resort. Unthinkable, right? Well it is here. But the real outrageous part is the first part of what she said. It is outrageous because that is precisely what most Germans want and Chancellor Merkel refuses to respect this. It’s time to close the borders.  It’s been time to close the borders. And it will remain time to close the borders until the borders get closed – presumably following the next election.

Sehe ich so aus, als sei ich unter Druck?

Hate Speech To Be Gone Within 24 Hours, Dumb Speech Remains Untouched

In an international move of solidarity to promote goodness and niceness the world over for the betterment of the entire human race itself,  the nations of Germany, Facebook Google and Twitter have agreed to end hate speech from their websites in our time or at least within 24 hours of its issue.

Facebook

“This cuts right to the root of the whole hate thing,” a spokesman for the nation of Germany stressed. “As we have all learned through our years of experience in enforcing political correctness, merely using the proper terminology or “newspeak” is enough to alleviate the actual causes behind this improper way of thinking, I mean speaking. It’s like magic.”

Another spokesman assured the public that only hate speech will be targeted here and that all that other kinds of dumb, inane and annoying speech, the vast majority of speech that’s out there, will remain untouched.

“Wir dürfen den geistigen Brandstiftern nicht das Feld überlassen – weder auf der Straße noch im Netz.”

German Word Of The Day About The German Word Of The Year: Abschätzig

That means pejorative. Disparaging?

Word of the Year

And the German word of the year? Like duh. Flüchtlinge. That means refugees.

But the German Society for the German Language warns us right off the bat that when we use this year’s winner we should do so very carefully because it is “tendentially pejorative” and that would be grammatically if not to say politically incorrect.

Wrestling with these German words is hard as hell sometimes, ain’t it? So I guess sometimes it’s best not to wrestle with them at all.

“GroKo”, “Rettungsroutine”, “Stresstest”, “Wutbürger”. In den vergangenen Jahren wurden Wörter zum Wort des Jahres gewählt, die nicht im Duden stehen. Wörter mit einer inneren Spannung, mit Originalität. Und mit einem Hauch von paradoxem Witz. 2015 ist das anders.

German Media Giving Germans A Distorted Image Of The Migrant Crisis?

No way. Or way?

Migrant

The German language website Frankfurter Allgemene has reported on how the British media “reports on the crisis differently than the German” media.

The newspaper explains: “When it came to clashes between Hungarian border guards and refugees, the BBC showed young men who threw stones.”

The rioting, fit young men were of course described as “hungry”, “desperate” and “defensive,” but at least the images were shown. The suggestion that such a key part of the developing story was omitted on German TV is a startling one.

“On [German channel] ARD Tagesschau,” Frankfurter Allgemenie reports, “the most dramatic pictures could not be seen – instead, women and children, fleeing the tear gas by security forces [was shown]… German television suggesting disproportionate action by Hungary, however the BBC reported of the “defense of the borders…””

Flüchtlinge sind eine Chance, heißt immerfort. Und das entspricht der Wahrheit. Gleichzeitig jedoch stellen uns die 800 000 Flüchtlinge vor Integrationsprobleme, die offen anzusprechen ein Tabu ist. Menschen, die dies trotzdem tun, werden unbedarft rechts verortet, teils sogar medial beleidigt. Dabei muss das Stellen von Fragen erlaubt sein: Wenn so getan wird, als gäbe es bei hunderttausenden Flüchtlingen keine oder kaum Probleme, können diese auch nicht bekämpft werden.

Terrorists Are People, Too

And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=duKXAil1i2M

It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?

„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“

German Of The Day: “Sowas sagt man nicht!”

That’s no way to talk!

DGB

Just ask this lady here. Her name is Gitta Connemann and she is a member of German parliament (CDU) who just got uninvited as the main speaker at an anti-war event sponsored by the big German DGB union for making Israel-friendly comments. And they were shocking as hell, too.

This broad actually had the nerve to say “Every death is one too many but Israel has been shot at since 2006 and has the right to protect itself.”

What on earth was she thinking? Political sensitivity is clearly not her cup of chai.

“Jeder Tote ist zu viel. Aber seit 2006 wird Israel beschossen und hat ein Recht auf Selbstverteidigung.”

I Think It Should Have Been Superpenner

Sozialtourismus has just been selected by the Brain Police as Germany’s Unwort des Jahres (non-word of the year). It means “social tourism” and is terribly cynical and politically incorrect as it refers to “unwanted immigrants from eastern Europe” who come to Germany to presumably milk all the wonderful social benefits here, something of course social tourists from eastern Europe or elsewhere would never, ever do.

Word

Non-word of the year? The year has just begun, hasn’t it? And there are way more cool non-words out there that are much more deserving, if you ask me (I know you didn’t, but I’m telling you anyway). How about Superpenner (Super Bum), for instance? Bum is totally politically incorrect, too (that is what they used to call the homeless) and super is, well, super. So there.

Anyway, in case you didn’t know, Superpenner is a new comic action hero who has now arrived to save Berlin. And it’s about freakin’ time, too. To save it from all of those Straßenfeger (street sweeper) newspaper salesmen who accost us with their sales pitches in the U-Bahn all day long. I can hear it already: “Now with the Supperpenner comic book!”

Berlins Straßen haben einen neuen Helden: Den Superpenner – wenn auch nur auf dem Papier. Der Comic-Actionhero soll den Absatz der Berliner Obdachlosenzeitung Straßenfeger steigern.

Bottle In Front Of Me Better Than Frontal Lobotomy

Or better than psychotherapy, for that matter. Or at least that’s what one German health official has said. A bottle of warm beer can be more effective.

Beer

But the Brain Police are now vigorously reminding us (as in you) that one is not permitted to say stuff like that so now this guy’s in real hot water. Or warm beer, I guess.

“A psychotherapist is not needed next to every citizen. Sometimes a beer is enough.”