German Military To Acquire Armed Drones They Will Never Use

Germany’s military is planning to acquire armed drones which they will never use in a zillion years its Defense Minister said on Friday, reigniting a heated debate in Germany over the ethics of not using such aircraft.

Drones

The drones would protect German soldiers in dangerous situations, if we would ever use them that is, which of course we wouldn’t, as German soldiers are never put in dangerous situations in the first place, Thomas de Maiziere told the German government’s YouTube channel in an interview.

Critics of such German drone non-strikes argue that they would end up failing to kill high numbers of innocent civilians and that they would frequently not be launched across sovereign states’ borders – far more frequently than conventional attacks by piloted German aircraft that are never ever launched from anywhere to anyplace, either.

Prior to the official announcement, German opposition lawmakers had already condemned the pointless purchase of the useless, lame-ass, purposeless armed drones, with the head of the Greens parliamentary group Juergen Trittin saying that they could lower the threshold for German military non-engagement even lower than it already is.

“We have a gap in our capabilities which we want to close.”

“Laser”

Dr. Evil: [about his new “laser“] You see, I’ve turned the moon into what I like to call a “Death Star”. [Scott snickers]

Laser

German defense firm Rheinmetall Defense used a new high-energy laser weapons system to shoot fast-moving drones at a distance. The system, which uses two laser weapons, was also used to cut through a steel girder a kilometer away.

All I can say is thank goodness this technology is in German hands. That way it will only be used for peaceful purposes. You know, like making money, and stuff like that.

ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Electric Cars Have Already Reached A Whopping 0.01 Percent Of All Registered Cars In Germany

That’s some, uh, 4,600 vehicles. At this rate, the German government’s plan to have 1 million electric cars on the road by 2020 will be reached easily.

Or maybe not. Because those pesky German consumers still haven’t got the message and think that these babies are too expensive and don’t have a long enough range to make them attractive as, you know, as cars.

So that’s why the German government, flexible as it is, has now said that their goal of 1 million electric cars by 2020 (set last year) has now become a goal of 600,000 electric cars by 2020. I can’t wait to see what next year’s goal for 2020 will be like.

Damn. I’m impressed. This German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is getting easier and easier to reach all the time.

“If we don’t create incentives, then the whole thing is going to fail,” the Green party said in a statement.

This German Woman Right Here Knows Practically Nothing About Computers

And German men want to keep it that way. You know, so they can help them and stuff? Again and again and again?

The latest Bitkom survey has found out that only half of all German women have halfway sort of somewhat decent computer skill knowledge. And the other half are real turkeys (especially the younger ones). So let’s keep it that way.

Selbst beim Anschließen von Druckern und beim Versenden von Emails scheitern sie.

Mehr Fluglärm? Nein Danke!

The next wave of vociferous protests by residents complaining about excessive aircraft noise is being preprogrammed in Germany. Even if the airport in question is in the middle of German nowhere.

California-based XCOR Aerospace is developing a suborbital aircraft called the Lynx space plane which will carry paying passengers to the stratosphere. Unfortunately for them, capable engineers that they surely are, none of these guys has ever been to Germany. Otherwise they wouldn’t have had the not-so-bright idea to try to use an airport near Cuxhaven for their so-called Sea-Airport.

Germans don’t like airport noise, you see. They don’t like technology that isn’t German, either, or any of that other futuristic Scheiß (crap). And they don’t like “neoliberal” globalisation plans for world revolution (literally, this time). And they don’t like millionaires, either. A ride aboard the Lynx will retail at around $95,000. That means it’s time to agitate again or something, before the project can even begin. Bah! Hamburg! I mean Humbug!

Das Projekt sei freilich erst “in den Anfängen einer Ideenfindung.”

Germans Really Are Peaceniks After All

The submarines they have furnished Israel with will certainly be keeping the peace.

Israel is arming these Dolphin class subs with nuclear-tipped cruise missiles. Any nation that attacks Israel with a nuclear weapon will live to regret it. Not for very long, though.

Now this is gun control that really works. And here we thought the Germans were so down on nuclear power and all that.

“Darauf kann Deutschland stolz sein.”

Energy Revolution Not Taking Place Quite Yet

German energy turnaround revolutionaries everywhere are turning around more than usual these days, burning more energy than planned trying to answer all the dumb questions those dumb energy reactionaries are always asking them.

Dumb questions like:
How come the energy turnaround isn’t making any progress?
How come the taxpayers continue to foot the bill?
How come all these renewable energy companies are going broke now that the subsidies are being cut?
How come made in Germany renewable energy technology is now being made in China these days (and German subsidies are actually helping the Chinese)?
How come Germany isn’t in the position to create the power-transmission lines needed to connect these new energy sources to the German power grid?
How come the energy-storage facilities needed for these new technologies are so extremely expensive and, well, just aren’t being built?
How was that again? How come Germany is in the process of turning off all its nuclear power plants?
How come the construction of dozens of new coal-burning power plants will therefore be necessary?

And how could ideology get the upper hand on reality (yet again) in a nation full of such sober, experienced thinkers?

And on and on and on these dumb questioners go. These reactionary types just don’t get it, you see. They don’t have visions like us revolutionary folks do. And they don’t hear the voices, either.

Germany Stalled on the Expressway to a Green Future

What’s One More Delay For The BBA?

The Berlin Brandenburg Airport, I mean. Or isn’t it the Berlin Brandenburg Willy Brandt Airport?

Or does it stand for But Berlin Went Broke Already? Better not Bother With Booking Ahead?

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit said the delay will cost money but declined to put a price tag on it.

Those Airbus A380s Look So Freakin’ Cool

Especially when they’re Boeing 747-8-Jumbos.

Mit einer Rumpflänge von 76,3 Metern übertrifft die 747-8 als jetzt längster Passagierjet den Airbus A340-600 um knapp einen Meter und den Airbus A380 um vier Meter. Das Boeing-Flagschiff kann bis zu 600 Passagiere aufnehmen.

Bye Bye Birdie

Those damned Americans again. The shocking news just came out over here that some 6.8 migrating birds die each and every year over there due to all those awful and yucky radio towers they feel compelled to put up all over the place all the time (for conservative talk radio shows, we must assume).

When will they ever learn?

And when will anybody over here ever learn to start publishing the numbers for all those birds that get killed each and every year due to German wind turbines? Hey, you know the deal. One standard for North American radio towers, another for green energy sources.

Wenn die ständig leuchtenden Lampen an den 4500 Türmen, die höher als 150 Meter sind, durch blinkende ersetzt würden, könne die Zahl der daran sterbenden Vögel um 45 Prozent sinken.