German Women Regularly Beat The Scheiße Out Of German Men

As if the shocking sexual coercion German women force their male sex slaves to endure again and again and again wasn’t bad enough already (and it certainly must be), an even more shocking new study has revealed what many of us have suspected all along: German women also regularly subject their German men to vicious physical abuse of the most cruel and unusual kind.

Gewalt

One Betroffene (person concerned) reports: Hamburg. At first he thought that he would be able to overcome the problems with his girlfriend. This is what Jochen K. (the initial has been changed to protect the innocent) wrote in his diary after she hit him the first time in the face with her fist. He held her back and tried to calm her down. But the attack in the hallway was not to be the last one. His girlfriend turned violent again and again in the following years. She couldn’t come to grips with her problem. Today Jochen K. admits that he must have been crazy to think that he could have overcome this problem alone.

But just what is it that makes these crazy German bitches so violent? Many psychologists and law enforcement experts believe that these men-beating monsters are simply products of their environment and actually victims themselves, having been socialized in a system of matriarchy in which beatings of this nature are simply not taken seriously. These women beat their men because they can, in other words.

So what can YOU do about it, German men? Break the silence. That’s the first step. And then go out and seek help immediately. Preferably in a city far, far away where nobody could possibly know you. And please, whatever you do, never ever use your real name while getting help, not unless you absolutely positively have to. No, I take that back. Don’t even use it then.

“Wenn Männer sich als Opfer an die Polizei wenden, werden oftmals keine Verfahren eröffnet”, sagt K. “Ihnen wird nicht geglaubt.”

Kleinvieh Macht Auch Mist

Literally, “small animals make manure, too.” But of course this German idiom means more. What they’re really saying is “every little bit counts.”

Kleinwaffen

And the Süddeutsche Zeitung just found a whole bunch of manure when it brought out a report about German small arms sales. They hit an all-time high in 2012, at more than double the previous year’s sales.

And Germans are really concerned about this (not). Not at all, really. As a matter of fact, as far as I can tell, the only time Germans seem to get concerned about small arms is when one of those crazy Americans goes berserk and uses one to kill a bunch of innocent people again because there is simply not enough effective gun control legislation in that dang dern US-Amerika country of theirs. Legislation aimed at stopping small arms imports from Germany, I suppose they mean.

Exporting small weapons is a contentious issue as they are used to kill far more people than heavy weapons and major military equipment around the world. Amnesty International estimates that 1,000 people die each day from gunshot wounds inflicted by small arms. Owing to their size, they are also the hardest weapons to keep track of, and circulate with comparative ease in conflict zones.

Literally Hundreds Celebrate Bayern München’s Champions League Victory At The Brandenburg Gate Public Viewing Party Thingy Last Night

It was raining like Katzen and Hunde, after all. So what do you expect?

Public Viewing

And, oh yeah. Bayern München won.

Bayern Munich are the club Germans love to hate: There may be some unresolved psychological issues too. The first football chant every German child learns is the Freudian “Zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus”: “Pull down the Bavarians’ lederhosen”.

PS: “Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie.”

Drink Your Fracking Beer Already

Uh oh. Germans are suddenly worried about their Reinheitsgebot or “German Beer Purity Law” again. And Fracking, I mean.

Fracking

This has to do with the fact that fracking does not stick soley to the only ingredients that may be used in the production of beer: Water, barley and hops. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think that fracking uses barley and hops at all.

I’m interested in tradition, too, of course. But let’s face it, if you’re going to start quoting a 500-year-old “purity law,” quote it right: The law also set the price of beer at 1-2 Pfennig per Maß.

The Brauer-Bund beer association is worried that fracking for shale gas, which involves pumping water and chemicals at high pressure into the ground, could pollute water used for brewing and break a 500-year-old industry rule on water purity.

“Das Reinheitsgebot darf nicht beeinträchtigt werden. Es müssen alle Maßnahmen ergriffen werden, damit das Brauwasser geschützt wird.”

Alternative Energy Available In US-Amerika

Soaring German energy costs in the wake of the country’s transition to renewable energy have seen more and more firms thinking abut relocating their operations. The US looks like a sound alternative, associations claim.

Energy

And this even though everybody (everybody Green or SPD) knows that fracking is EVIL.

“If we don’t get on top of the country’s energy transition to renewables and are not able to rein in energy costs in the process, German industry’s competitiveness stands to suffer.”

Someone Needs To Finally Have The Decency To Tell The German Greens Which Country They Live In

When it comes to money matters, I mean.

Greens

Like I mentioned earlier, only in Germany can a political party go for (and actually get) votes by promising to raise taxes.

But I now stand corrected: (actually hope to get) is what I should have written. It turns out that not even do-gooder mainstream green-like German green people like the idea of increased taxes all that terrible much. At least not when the cameras have finally been turned off and they can answer a survey in peace and quite when the Green Shirt party watchdogs aren’t breathing down their necks.

Ever since the announcement of that wacky plan of theirs to raise the top rate of income tax to 49 percent for those earning 80,000 euros ($104,000) a year or more (and to 45 percent from 42 percent above 60,000 euros), voter support for them has dropped steadily.

I guess there’s GREEN in theory and GREEN in practice after all. And practice makes perfect, you know.

Die Grünen erreichen im Politbarometer nur noch 13 Prozent. Dass die Steuerpläne der Partei schaden, glauben 53 Prozent.

Barbie Must Die

And the “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” must be wiped from our collective memory. And said dreamhouse must be razed to the ground, too. This is because Barbie is a clear and present danger and a real threat. At least here in Berlin it is.

Barbie

And as far as I can tell, these are the German feministic reasons for this:

Everything is pink. Barbie and her Dreamhouse are a “pink-colored, sparkling world of beautiful illusion.”

There is an “endless” closet, cupcake baking kitchen, fashion runway and pop-star karaoke stage” inside (OK, I’m with them when it comes to this part).

The Dreamhouse gives “children the chance to taste the sweet nectar of life as a doll” and the protestors don’t like “pretty propaganda” like this.

They find it unfair that “not many women have the possibility of creating such a life for themselves.”

They think that Barbie is a role model that makes young girls want to “always look good, and to cook and clean.”

Barbie and her Dreamhouse “lead to eating disorders,” too.

And on and on and on. The head feminist, Michael Koschitzki, a member of the far-left Left Party’s youth organization, has spearheaded the protest movement against the Dreamhouse, printing thousands of flyers and calling on fellow feminists to gather outside for speeches and protest outside the temporary attraction on Thursday.

I’m speechless, almost. And I’m not making any of this stuff up, either. And these aren’t little girls cranking out this nonsense. These are real live feminist grownup human beings openly calling to picket a Barbie house, albeit a “Barbie Dreamhouse Experience” kind of house, but still. And the worst part of all this? The Barbie Dreamhouse Experience will be charging adults €15 just to get in.

“Barbie has again become a tool for some to advance their own agenda.”

Mutually Assured Disillusionment

And here you thought that the Germans could bitch and moan about Europe.

Moan

And boy can they ever. But the reigning Weltmeister of Whining is now suddenly getting some unexpected stiff competition from France, of all places (with Spain, Italy and Greece picking up speed in the griping department, too).

“No European country is becoming more dispirited and disillusioned (with Europe) faster than France,” according to a Pew Research Center report, released in Brussels and Washington. “The French are negative about the economy, with 91 percent saying it is doing badly, up 10 percentage points from 2012.”

France’s malaise with the European Union’s outlook is more similar to sentiment in Spain, Italy and Greece than it is to the mood in Germany, which is the only EU nation of eight surveyed where at least half the public backed giving more power to Brussels to deal with the economic crisis.

So let’s get with it already, Germany. This race ain’t near over with. We (as in you) can do this. When the going gets tough, the tough get moaning.

“Deutsche leben mental auf ihrem eigenen Kontinent.”

More German Gun Control In Action

Germany’s gun control laws are some of the most restrictive in Europe. Unfortunately, not all armed criminals and nutcases who live here appear to have been properly informed.

Gun control

Some idiot just killed three people and injured three more near Aachen, before shooting himself into a coma.

Shootings like this happen quite regulary in this country. Nobody likes to address the issue, other than to suggest introducing even stricter gun control laws, but it happens here quite regularly all the same.

Discussing shootings that take place in US-Amerika, on the other hand, is a downright popular obsession here. This is because Germans feel that Americans need more gun control legislation like the Germans have here in Germany, get it? Me neither.

Der Hintergrund des Amoklaufes ist noch unklar. Man könne nur spekulieren, sagt der Oberstaatsanwalt.

Harrowing Scenes Involving Nazis?

In a Wagner opera? What will they think of next?

Opera

I mean, it’s not like Wagner could ever be accused of having been an anti-Semite or anything.

The Rheinoper, based in Dusseldorf, said some of the audience had to seek medical help following early performances of Tannhauser.

But the producer “refused” to tone down the staging, set in a concentration camp during the Holocaust.

“With paramount concern, we note that some scenes (especially the shooting scene) were depicted very realistically.”

PS: Speaking of needing medical attention, happy Vatertag already!