He Opened The Door For Me

October 29, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hype, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Harvey Weinstein, Hype, Media, Men, Polls, Sexual Harassment, Surveys, Women Leave a comment

“And this other creep said he liked my new Frisur (hairstyle).”

German men would never do that, of course. They just grab knees and do other more direct kind of sexually harassing stuff like that. And they’re apparently pretty fleißig (diligent) at it, too.

One in two women in Germany has experienced some form of sexual harassment, a new YouGov survey showed. The poll comes amid global outrage over sexual assault allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein.

Only one in two? No way. I get globally outraged myself just reading that. Why don’t they just print the truth as it is meant to be and say that all German women have been sexually harassed (or at least all of them will have been very soon – we’ve only got two hands, ladies) and just move on already. To the next global outrage, I mean.

“In 20 years of show business I’ve never been sexually harassed by a man. But that is probably because I find sexual advances from men basically enjoyable and see them as compliments, not as harassment.”

Green Phantom Energy Expensive, Too

October 27, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Renewable energy, Subsidies, Taxation, Wind Energy 2 Comments

How the hell do they do this? It’s magic.

And the trick goes like this: Germans spent some 643 million euros last year for energy that was never even produced. The reason is the wind energy operators get compensation payments for lost revenues.

How’s that? Is this the New Deal all over again? Nope. Well, yup. Only different. On most days wind turbines in Germany produce more energy than needed. In oder to avoid overloading the energy grid, turbines get taken off the grid or this energy gets fed into foreign grids – for free. In order that German wind energy operators still get their money, however, they get “compensation.” That is, money for electricity they never had to produce. 643 million euros was shelled out for this last year alone, like I said. And things are looking up, too. This was over twice as much as was paid in 2015 (315 million euros). Can’t wait for next year’s bill. German taxpayers pay for this, just in case you were wondering.

Damn. I sure do wish that US-Amerika could start making some progress here with this renewable energy scam, I mean business, but nobody back home seems to get it.

Die Strom-Netzentgelte steigen auf Rekordniveau. Ein Grund sind Windräder, die sich im Leerlauf drehen. Und die Verbraucher merken es im Portemonnaie.

German Of The Day: Tapfer

October 25, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Counter-Cuture, Crime, Drug Dealers, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Museums, Political Parties, Racism Leave a comment

That means brave or valiant. Yeah, here’s to you tapfer drug dealers hanging out in the parks of Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg.

Only in Berlin, folks. No joke: Somebody over at that district’s museum of local history has set up an exhibition honoring the “undaunted” criminal African drug dealers who carry out their illegal trade despite the slings and arrows of outreageous fortune they are forced to endure like… I dunno. Being pursued by the cops for breaking the law?

Oh yeah, and there’s racism involved, too (there always is). These guys are “in the spotlight of racist animosity” and are the “scapegoats for collective hate” because all they want to do is sell illegal drugs and the system won’t let them do it. Oppression everywhere you look these days, I tell you.

This is an outrage, damn it! That something like this exhibition is possible and it isn’t even meant to be a joke, I mean. Or is it? The more I read this the less sure about it I am.

„Drogendealer leisten einen gesellschaftlich wertvollen und von vielen Menschen geschätzten Dienst – und zwar dort, wo sie gut zu erreichen sind: mitten im Bezirk, vor allem in den Parks.“

PS: Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg is a so-called red-red-green district governed by the Greens, the SPD and the Left Party. Just in case you were wondering.

Which Germany Is This Guy Talking About?

October 24, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Biased Media, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Media, News Media, State Control 1 Comment

“Why Germany Is Better at Resisting Fake News”

It’s not the Germany I live in. Germans don’t resist fake news, they roll around in it like pigs in the mud. Only they pretend their news is not fake. Their fake news doesn’t stink, in other words. And their fake news is different than our fake news, of course. Maybe that’s why they can pretend it isn’t fake: German fake news is generated by the government broadcasters and funded by taxation for which the viewers have no representation.

Here is a little example recently to give you an idea of what I mean. If 98 percent negative reporting about Donald Trump done by a state-run broadcasting monopoly isn’t fake news I don’t know what is. Germans would be skeptical about 98 percent negative reporting on Hitler. Nobody here bats an eye about this, however. What is there to resist, right?

More regulation of social media, less news consumption from alternative sources and no Fox News.

Berlin’s BER Airport Nonexistent And Too Small At The Same Time

October 23, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, BER, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste 2 Comments

Previously thought to be impossible within the realm of phenomenal reality, airport physisists were more than a little shocked today to discover that Berlin’s infamously nonexistent and still not new BER airport – latest takeoff delay soon to be announced for 2019 – is nevertheless much too small, despite its nothingness.

Too small to ever be a grown-up, major hub-like airport, that is. If it ever were to see the light of day, of course. Which it might not. These are theoretical airport physisists we’re talking about here, in case you were wondering.

Ein Start des BER vor 2019 gilt als unwahrscheinlich. Flughafenchef Engelbert Lütke Daldrup will in diesem Jahr einen Eröffnungstermin nennen.

German Of The Day: Gleichberechtigung

October 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Crime, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Language, Political correctness, Prisons, Sex Offenders 1 Comment

That means equality, emancipation, equal status.

You know, like with prison personnel? Although that’s not quite what this female correctional facility employee got as she accompanied a sex offender during his accompanied prison leave. She got sexually abused instead, before the guy hung himself.

Let women staff accompany convicted sex offenders on the outside? Why, uh, of course. You got to go with the times, bro. Only an outdated primitive like myself would think that maybe that might not be such a terribly good idea.

Wie konnte es zu der schrecklichen Tat in Niedersachsen kommen? Warum musste ausgerechnet eine Frau den verurteilten Triebtäter begleiten?

Hertha Berlin To Take Kneeling To The Next Level

October 15, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Footbal, German, Germans, Germany, Hertha BSC, Kneeling, National Anthem, NFL, Soccer, Sports 1 Comment

Anybody can take a stand by kneeling these days, I guess. That’s easy.

Berlin’s beloved soccer team Hertha BSC is doing this kneeling stuff now, too. Wow. Who would have thought that Germans play the American national anthem over here before game time? I had no idea.

Anyway, Hertha’s doing pretty well so far this season so one fan is suggesting that they should go whole hog and try playing in kneeling position throughout the entire game and/or season. The rules are simple: You’re allowed to switch knees only three times during a game. The Star Spangled Banner must be playing at all times, of course. Just a thought.

Der amerikanische Sportler-Protest gegen Diskriminierung erreicht nun auch Deutschland. Vor der Bundesliga-Partie in Berlin setzen die Spieler der Hertha ein bemerkenswertes Zeichen.

German Of The Day: Wegretuschiert

October 13, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Crosses, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Lidl, Political correctness, Products, Religion 2 Comments

That means to airbrush out.

And a lot of customers are cross at the big German discounter Lidl these days for doing just that: Airbrushing out crosses on their products. It’s like Lidl crossed a red line here or something. And now they’re caught in the crossfire. I guess you could say they forgot to dot their i’s and cross their t’s.

First it was a number of Greek products last month and now its Italy’s turn. And why is Lidl doing this? Apparently “to observe religious and political neutrality.” They promised to stop doing this after last month’s airbrushing incident, however. I guess they forgot to cross their heart and hope to die.

Well I, for one, certainly want my moussaka to remain religiously and politically neutral but maybe this is taking it just a wee bit too far.

Damals erklärte Lidl, dass ein derartiger Eingriff dazu diene, die religiöse und politische Neutralität einzuhalten. Nun fehlen auf Lidl-Werbefotos in Italien erneut die Kirchenkreuze.

German Of The Day: Staatsfunk

October 10, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: ARD, Der Spiegel, Journalism, Media, State TV, ZDF Leave a comment

That means state broadcasting. And that doesn’t exist here in Germany, of course.

Or at least that’s what Germany’s state broadcasters are always telling us.

It’s just that these non-state broadcasters, unlike Der Spiegel, for example, don’t have to turn a profit because they are financed by the state (taxation). Despite not being state broadcasters, I mean. It’s complicated.

Bei einem öffentlich-rechtlichen Sender zu arbeiten oder bei einem Verlag, das unterscheidet sich nicht so sehr. Jedenfalls nicht, solange es um die Inhalte geht. Das Geschäftsmodell allerdings unterscheidet sich durchaus: Während Verlage wie der SPIEGEL das Budget für ihre Angebote erst erwirtschaften müssen, nehmen es öffentlich-rechtliche Sender zu guten Teilen über Rundfunkgebühren ein.

Deutsche Post Introduces New Robotic Technology To Deliver Packages Late More Efficiently

October 4, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Deutsche Post, German, Germans, Germany, Post Office, Postmen, Robots, Technology 1 Comment

Intent on keeping up with the times, the German Post is now in the process of introducing a so-called Postbot that will help human postmen deliver their packages later than ever before, or not at all.

Based on their human counterparts, the Postbot will regularly call in sick, inexplicably lose letters and packages assigned to it once it leaves the post office and regularly pretend to have ringed at apartments located two floors or higher before leaving a notice in the mailbox claiming that nobody was home when they were there. The Postbot will do this noticably faster and more efficiently, however, failing to deliver up to seven times the number of undelivered packages normal German postmen fail to deliver.

Union officials have expressed concern that the Postbot could threaten Deutsche Post jobs and insists that the robot must be granted obligatory union memborship to help slow down this frantic pace of technological advance.

In zwei Zustellbezirken wird das vierrädrige, 1,50 Meter hohe Gefährt den Boten hinterher fahren. Es könne bis zu 150 Kilo Briefe und Pakete transportieren, stoppe vor Hindernissen und überwinde Bordsteine. Mittels Sensoren erkennt er die Beine der menschlichen Postboten und folgt ihnen in Schrittgeschwindigkeit.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hideology