4 Out Of 128 Ain’t Bad

May 2, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Military, NATO, Readiness, Spending 2 Comments

It’s past bad. It’s hilarious.

Only 4 of the Bundeswehr’s 128 Tornadoes are operational.

Maybe that’s why Germany’s defense minister Ursula von der Leyen wants 12 billion euros “more for the German army than current budget plans foresee.” That won’t do it even if she gets it, of course. And to get anywhere near the 2 percent of GDP spending Germany has committed itself to spend you’d need more along the lines of 30 to 40 billion euros. But who’s counting?

Nur 4 von 128 Eurofightern kampfbereit: „Im Ernstfall kann man nur beten.”

Get Your Popcorn Ready

May 1, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Demonstrations, Destruction, Frank Zappa, German, Germans, Germany, Kreuzberg, May !, May Day, Riots, Senseless Violence, Trouble Every Day, Violence 1 Comment

It’s May Day in Berlin! And Berliners are big on tradition.

Tuesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

Berliner Polizei rechnet mit heftigen Krawallen – 5300 Beamte im Einsatz

Beware Of Low-Flying Objects

April 30, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Andrea Nahles, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties, Social Democracy, SPD Leave a comment

Like Germany’s SPD.

Their new boss lady, Andrea Nahles, has brought them down to an altitude of 17 percent – that’s the percentage of the German electorate that is still prepared to vote for them.

But watch it, folks. They’re tricky. I think it’s intentional. How could you sink this low if it wasn’t on purpose? And once they get under the radar like that they can turn up anywhere and start strafing you when you least expect. You know, with new money resdistribution plans or other social justice air warrior maneuvers? Or maybe just crash and burn altogether. Hard to say for sure. Either way it’s only only going to get uglier.

Nach dem RTL/n-tv-Trendbarometer verliert die SPD im Vergleich zur Vorwoche und erreicht nur noch 17 Prozent. Alle anderen Parteien blieben bei ihren Werten. Die Union liegt demnach bei 34 Prozent, die Grünen bei 13, die AfD bei zwölf, die Linken bei zehn und die FDP bei neun Prozent.

BREAKING NEWS: Germans Are More Negative Than Americans

April 29, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hostility, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Americans, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, Negativity, Pessimism, Statistics, Studies, Surveys, Trump, USA 2 Comments

When it comes to German-American relations, I mean. Like holy Scheiße! Who would have ever expected that?

And here I thought Germans were such positive, can-do people who have always been so, you know, upbeat and cheerful about German-American relations. In the past, I mean. Right? This just doesn’t make any sense. It’s just not their nature. Somebody should double-check these numbers.

6 charts on how Germans and Americans view one another

1. Americans think U.S.-German relations are in good shape, but Germans disagree.

2. German attitudes toward the U.S. have turned sharply negative in the Trump era.

3. Merkel gets positive reviews from Americans, especially Democrats.

4. Many Germans see the U.S. as a top foreign policy partner; fewer Americans feel the same way about Germany.

5. Democrats are more likely than Republicans to see Germany as an important partner for foreign policy.

6. There are transatlantic differences about defense spending.

Only 11% of Germans expressed confidence in Trump to do the right thing in world affairs in 2017, down from 86% for Obama in 2016.

German Of The Day: Standpauke

April 27, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings Tags: Angela Merkel, Bad Cops, Berlin, Donald Trump, German, Germans, Germany, Good Cops, Language, Talks, Tariffs, Trade, Washington Leave a comment

That means lecture. And according to the Spiegel, that’s what Angela Merkel is about to get from Donald Trump.

Well, folks. If it’s not in the Spiegel it didn’t happen. Or ain’t gonna happen, in this case. So “dress warmly,” Angela, as the German saying goes.

After Macron’s two-day Trump charm offensive, Merkel plays “bad cop” in Washington.

Angela Merkel won’t be showered with the pomp and praise that marked Emmanuel Macron’s state visit to Washington this week—let alone with any touch-feely back rubs. The German chancellor comes armed with spreadsheets, rather than Gallic charm, and has just a couple of hours to try and head off Trump’s looming aluminum-and-steel tariffs and protect German businesses.

“In Germany, every fourth job depends on exports. In the industrial sectors, it’s more than every second job.”

This Could Mean War Or Something

April 26, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, Steel, Tariffs, Trade, Trade Wars, Trump, War Leave a comment

Tariff war. World War T. You know, the end of the world as we know it? Then it’s all over but the crying. And the Zombie Apocalypse. It’ll be Zombie Apocalypse Now, so-to-speak.

Yawn.

Berlin holds little hope that the EU will be granted a further exemption from US metals tariffs beyond a May 1 deadline. Washington has offered the bloc a reprieve to speed up talks on a series of trade issues.

The German news agency DPA reported on Thursday that the upcoming meeting between Chancellor Angela Merkel and US President Donald Trump — scheduled for the weekend — was unlikely to win the EU a further exemption from higher steel and aluminum tariffs planned by Washington.

Citing government sources, DPA said the Trump administration’s plans to impose a 25 percent tariff on steel and 10 percent on aluminum imports to the United States would likely come into effect on May 1.

But maybe something miraculous will happen at the absolutely very last second to hold off trade war Armageddon. Maybe it won’t. Hard to say for sure so be sure to stay tuned.

Bundesregierung befürchtet Handelskrieg mit den USA

Keep Berlin Poor!

April 25, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Apartments, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Ownership, Property, Real Estate, Rent, Renters Leave a comment

And sexy, of course.

It all used to be so easy. But now property prices are rising like mad. This is not sexy, I am told. Unless, of course, you own property here, which practically nobody does. And that brings us back to poor…

About 85% of Berlin’s 3.4 million residents live in rentals and homeownership remains remarkably low — a condition fostered by the city’s turbulent history, Cold War division and five decades of communist rule in East Berlin. Almost by nature, Berliners tend to have a low regard for property owners…

Though still modest compared with other cities in Europe, rents in Berlin have risen 75% in the last five years. A recent survey by the property consultant group Knight Frank showed that property prices in Berlin rose 21% in 2017, the steepest rate in its survey of 150 cities around the world and far above the average increase of 4.5%. The biggest increases that year in the United States were Seattle, where rent rose 12.7%, and San Francisco, where they were up 9.3%.

“Once you move into an apartment in Germany, you are basically in the lease for life unless you cancel it yourself.”

German Of The Day: Sozial

April 24, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bodyguards, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Language, Osama bin Laden, Sama A., Terror, Terrorists, Welfare, Welfare State Leave a comment

That means caring. You know, like the German state? It is caring and social (“social” here, of course, just being a different word for “free of charge”).

And it turns out that one of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguards, Tunesian Salafi Sami A. (he lost the other letters of his last name in a tragic car crash or something, I guess) has been receiving over 1,100 euros a month from the social German state since 2008 to chill around the house somewhere in the Ruhr Valley and do nothing except watch his beard grow. Or maybe reminisce now and then about the good old days with the Big O. himself. And the Germans do this even though the Tunisians would like to have a word with Sami A. Germany won’t extradite him, however, being sozial and all and fearing that Tunisia might subject him to “inhuman” or “demeaning” treatment. You know, like not getting him a flat-screen TV or a sufficiently fast WiFi connection for his cell?

You laugh but just think about it. How would Germany look returning the bodyguard of a mass murderer to a country like that?

Die deutsche Justiz geht davon aus, dass A. “mit beachtlicher Wahrscheinlichkeit Folter, unmenschliche oder erniedrigende Behandlung drohen.”

Perfect For The Job

April 22, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Andrea Nahles, Coalition Government, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties, SPD, Workers 1 Comment

As head of a “worker’s” party like Germany’s SPD, I mean: Somebody who has never worked a day in her life.

Folks like that know best how to distribute/redistribute other people’s money. I guess this election means that the SPD commrades want to stretch out their party’s long and excruciating terminal illness for as long as they possibly can. Good choice, workers. She is clearly the best man for the job.

Andrea Nahles has become the first woman to lead Germany’s Social Democrats — though by a disappointing margin of votes…

After garnering a meager 66.35 percent of delegate support at a special conference in the western German city of Wiesbaden on Sunday, Andrea Nahles takes over a Social Democratic Party (SPD) in an unprecedented crisis.

Scarcely a year ago, SPD delegates had unanimously elected Martin Schulz, the longtime president of the European Parliament, as party leader and chancellor candidate. The result was a historic national electoral debacle against Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats (CDU), leaving the SPD deeply divided over policy and personnel.

After initial refusals, party leaders decided to extend the grand coalition with Merkel’s CDU and Bavaria’s Christian Social Union, which allies with the chancellor’s conservatives. Nahles’ job is to remake and re-energize the SPD while ensuring that its cabinet ministers can do their jobs with minimum of interference by fellow Social Democrats.

“Solidarity is one of the main things missing in this globalized, neoliberal turbocharged world.”

Disproportionate Reporting Of Crimes Committed By Migrants In Germany?

April 18, 2018 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Media, Migrants, Refugees, Reporting, State TV 1 Comment

I suppose that’s true, but not in the way you would think.

There are “disproportionate,” near daily state TV and news reports that point their fingers at migrant perpetrators – by going out of their way not to point their fingers at migrant perpatrators. It’s an embarassingly simple code that everybody here was able to crack in no time.

By reporting, for instance, that “a man stabbed his daughter at a local shopping center” and refusing to give any names or indicating directly that the man was a German, everyone knows who this guy is, his background.

So, yes. Disproportionate it is. The number of crimes committed by migrants reported in the news, I mean. But you can see by the way these crimes are reported that the media is not making them up (for once?). They’re just covering them up.

The somewhat dubious concept of lawless areas in Germany has been promoted in no small part by disproportionate reporting of crimes committed by migrants and foreigners in popular media, particularly outlets like Bild.

PS: The first article I read made no indication as to who the perpetrator was. A later one did indicate – at the very bottom of the article – that father and daughter were Turkish citizens.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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