Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

June 1, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humility, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, BER, BER Berlin Brandenburg, Berlin, Brandenburg, Construction Projects, Germans, Germany, Jokes, Tegel Leave a comment

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.

Ha, Ha, Ha

May 31, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, Corona, Debt, Economic Stimulus, EU, EU Presidency, Europe, Eurozone, German, Germans, Germany, Language, MAGA, Slogans Leave a comment

A new slogan will make “Europe strong again?” Gemeinsam. Europa wieder stark machen.

Back off, Trump. Germany wants to Make Europe Strong Again. Berlin’s EU presidency motto has echoes of MAGA.

Slogans, as we all know, are merely slogans. The track record here is what you have to go by and it ain’t pretty. The Eurozone hasn’t even begun to deal with Brexit while Angela Merkel signals submission to France to accept a Schuldenunion (a debt union – paying the debt for Southern European countries – yes, they have a North and a South problem here too) when all of a sudden this little thing we call Corona has prompted Brussels to suggest an $826 billion economic stimulus plan (even more debt) for a “union” of countries that can’t even protect their borders and that only appears to be unified when it comes to supporting anything that weakens the United States (see China) and on and on we go but together they will make Europe strong. Again. Again?

Make Europe Strong Again. MESA? All I see is a MESA problems that nobody is prepared to fix.

Must Be The Same Company That Built Berlin’s Airport

May 29, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Construction, Construction Projects, German, Germans, Germany, Pyramids, Time, Time Pyramids Leave a comment

That took (is taking?) absolutely forever. But sheesh. To take the next 1,000 years to build a stupid time pyramid? Talk about your long term planning.

Germans Are Building a Time Pyramid Over the Next 1,000 Years – A locally crowdfunded “time pyramid” in southern Germany will be completed brick by brick over the next 1,000 years. The project is an interesting symbol of several intersecting ideas. Can you guarantee future generations will comply with very long-term plans? How will the large concrete bricks hold up to a millennium of weather and beyond?

It’s Magic!

May 28, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Corona, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Economy, Employment, German, Germans, Germany, Growth, Industry, Jobs, Recession, Recovery Leave a comment

It’s as if none of this Corona crap ever happened at all!

Maybe that’s because none of this Corona crap ever did happen. Not like it was supposed to happen, I mean. Not that anybody ever really knew how it was supposed to happen but everybody knows now that it simply didn’t happen that way. Folks sure got riled up though, didn’t they?

Germany poised for big economic recovery – The German economy is expected to shrink by more than 6% this year. But a new study found the country could be in for a big economic recovery next year.

In a best-case scenario, the economy could recover in about five months, the institute said. This would result in a more mild economic slump of just 3.9% in 2020.

But in a worst-case scenario, the recovery could also take as long as 16 months. The economy could then shrink by 9.3% this year, with growth of 9.5% forecast for 2021.

“In that case, the recovery would stretch into 2022.”

German Of The Day: Warnhinweisen

May 27, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Hostility, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: 1st Amendment, Censorship, Donald Trump, Fake News, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Language, Media, Social Media, Twitter Leave a comment

That means warning signs. You know, like the kind Twitter now places on tweets made by the President of the United States?

They don’t place any warning signs on anything German mainstream media puts out, unfortunately. They are still allowed to “disseminate any kind of nonsense with impunity.” Maybe that will come to an end one day too. Ha, ha, ha. Just joking. Maybe when monkeys start flying out of my butt. We all no that ain’t never gonna happen.

Up to now the US President could disseminate any kind of nonsense with impunity. For instance that postal voting and electoral fraud are the same thing. Those days might now be over.

Bislang konnte der US-Präsident auf Twitter ungestraft jeden Unsinn verbreiten. Zum Beispiel, dass Briefwahl und Wahlbetrug praktisch dasselbe seien. Diese Zeiten könnten jetzt vorbei sein.

If We’re Really Lucky, June Is Going To Suck

May 26, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Corona, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Economy, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Mood, Optimism, Pessimism, Trade Leave a comment

May was REALLY awful.

And we don’t even want to talk about June.

The mood among German exporters recovered somewhat in May after a “catastrophic” April, the first full month of coronavirus lockdown measures in Europe’s largest economy, the Ifo institute said on Tuesday.

“Virtually every sector still expects further declines, yet these will be less sharp than had been expected in the previous month,” the Munich think tank said in a monthly release.

The Ifo export indicator, based on a survey of around 2,300 manufacturing businesses, rose in May to -26.9 from -50.2. It is a net reading for respondents expecting an increase minus those who see a decline.

Austria Doing Germany’s Job Again

May 24, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humility, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Austria, Budgets, Corona, Debt, EU, Eurozone, France, Germany, Kurz, Macron, Merkel, Rescue Funds, Spending, Waste Leave a comment

Frugality? Refusing to pay other countries’ debts? That was “old Germany.”

Now the Germans need a country like Austria to take care of the problem for them – just like the Austrians took care of Merkel’s migrant madness by closing their borders way back when.

‘Frugal four’ nations counter Franco-German EU initiative – Four EU countries have teamed up, rejecting Macron and Merkel’s persistent lobbying for a €500 billion rescue fund. Instead, they have their own scheme on how to save Europe from economic fallout amid the pandemic…

The four countries also indicated that they will neither agree to a mutualization of debt nor an increase in the EU budget. Their draft proposal was seen by the German Press Agency (DPA) on Saturday.

“Our objective is to provide temporary, dedicated funding through the EU budgetû and to offer favorable loans to those who have been most severely affected by the crisis.”

German Of The Day: Übersterblichkeit

May 22, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hype, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: CLO, Corona, Coronavirus, COVID-19, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Mortality Rates, Numbers, Reality, Statistics Leave a comment

That means higher mortality rate.

But you need to read in which context it is being used here to get the whole message: Nur geringe Übersterblichkeit – Todesfälle im April knapp über dem Schnitt. That is: Only a slightly higher mortality rate – The fatalities in April were just slightly above average.

My, that is odd, isn’t it? Wasn’t April the big Corona month in Germany? Just like everywhere else? And the country’s mortality rate was only slightly higher than usual? There must be a mistake here somewhere. Or were we all mislead to expect something else? Certainly not intentionally. Or was it just ineptitude? Numbers, black on white like that, can be very mysterious sometimes. Especially when they don’t fit your story line.

Im April sterben zwar mehr Menschen in Deutschland als im Durchschnitt – der Anstieg beträgt aber nur wenige Prozent.

Decisions, Decisions

May 21, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Beer, Corona, Drinking, Father's Day, German, Germans, Germany, Holidays Leave a comment

Which beer will we be drinking this year for Vatertag? Corona, of course.

Der Aufenthalt im öffentlichen Raum ist lediglich Personengruppen, die aus maximal zwei verschiedenen Haushalten kommen, gestattet.

Germans Not Sure Who They Can Spy On Anymore

May 20, 2020 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: BND, CIA, Constitution, Courts, Espianage, Freedom, German, Germans, Germany, Internet, Law, Monitoring, NSA, Rights, Rulings, Spies, Spying Leave a comment

They can’t hardly spy on Germans anymore, at home and abroad. With foreigners here it’s not much better. And now…

German intelligence can’t spy on foreigners outside Germany – Germany’s Constitutional Court ruled on Tuesday that monitoring the internet traffic of foreign nationals abroad by the BND intelligence agency partly breaches the constitution.

Sheesh. A lot of German spies are going to need therapy. And worst of all, it doesn’t really matter whether Germans do any spying or not, and they know it. Whenever anything real goes down the tip-offs always come from a “befreundeten Nachrichtendienst” (allied intelligence service) anyway. They never say who this service is because everybody already knows and they’d rather not talk about it.

“A secret service that wants to protect democracy cannot trample on important democratic freedoms.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germany