German Of The Day: Überraschend

That means surprisingly.

Hiring

And you can just hear the disappointment ringing in this article’s title: Arbeitslosigkeit in den USA im Mai überraschend gesunken. That means unemployment in the USA in May sunk surprisingly.

You’ll get over it, Germany. That we’ll get over it, I mean. Now let’s see what you can do about your rising unemployment figures.

Damit haben die Experten nicht gerechnet: Die Arbeitslosenquote in den USA ist trotz der anhaltenden Folgen der Viruskrise überraschend gesunken.

Germany To Subsidize Tesla

In a bold move to help the ailing German automobile industry, the German government will be spending billions of euros on subsidies for electric cars most likely manufactured by the American electric vehicle maker Tesla Inc. (Germans don’t do electric cars).

Tesla

Germany raised the incentives to buy electric cars and cut the sales tax on more fuel-efficient internal combustion engines (ICE), but increased taxes on gas guzzling SUVs and sports cars which will hit the profits of the big auto makers.

Wumms“ für Tesla und Nel. Geldregen für Wasserstoff und E-Auto – Daimler und Co stehen im Regen.

Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.

Ha, Ha, Ha

A new slogan will make “Europe strong again?” Gemeinsam. Europa wieder stark machen.

Europe

Back off, Trump. Germany wants to Make Europe Strong Again. Berlin’s EU presidency motto has echoes of MAGA.

Slogans, as we all know, are merely slogans. The track record here is what you have to go by and it ain’t pretty. The Eurozone hasn’t even begun to deal with Brexit while Angela Merkel signals submission to France to accept a Schuldenunion (a debt union – paying the debt for Southern European countries – yes, they have a North and a South problem here too) when all of a sudden this little thing we call Corona has prompted Brussels to suggest an $826 billion economic stimulus plan (even more debt)  for a “union” of countries that can’t even protect their borders and that only appears to be unified when it comes to supporting  anything that weakens the United States (see China) and on and on we go but together they will make Europe strong. Again. Again?

Make Europe Strong Again. MESA? All I see is a MESA problems that nobody is prepared to fix.

German Of The Day: Warnhinweisen

That means warning signs. You know, like the kind Twitter now places on tweets made by the President of the United States?

Warnings

They don’t place any warning signs on anything German mainstream media puts out, unfortunately. They are still allowed to “disseminate any kind of nonsense with impunity.” Maybe that will come to an end one day too. Ha, ha, ha. Just joking. Maybe when monkeys start flying out of my butt. We all no that ain’t never gonna happen.

Up to now the US President could disseminate any kind of nonsense with impunity. For instance that postal voting and electoral fraud are the same thing. Those days might now be over.

Bislang konnte der US-Präsident auf Twitter ungestraft jeden Unsinn verbreiten. Zum Beispiel, dass Briefwahl und Wahlbetrug praktisch dasselbe seien. Diese Zeiten könnten jetzt vorbei sein.

If We’re Really Lucky, June Is Going To Suck

May was REALLY awful.

Exports

And we don’t even want to talk about June.

The mood among German exporters recovered somewhat in May after a “catastrophic” April, the first full month of coronavirus lockdown measures in Europe’s largest economy, the Ifo institute said on Tuesday.

“Virtually every sector still expects further declines, yet these will be less sharp than had been expected in the previous month,” the Munich think tank said in a monthly release.

The Ifo export indicator, based on a survey of around 2,300 manufacturing businesses, rose in May to -26.9 from -50.2. It is a net reading for respondents expecting an increase minus those who see a decline.

Germans Not Sure Who They Can Spy On Anymore

They can’t hardly spy on Germans anymore, at home and abroad. With foreigners here it’s not much better. And now…

Spies

German intelligence can’t spy on foreigners outside Germany – Germany’s Constitutional Court ruled on Tuesday that monitoring the internet traffic of foreign nationals abroad by the BND intelligence agency partly breaches the constitution.

Sheesh. A lot of German spies are going to need therapy. And worst of all, it doesn’t really matter whether Germans do any spying or not, and they know it. Whenever anything real goes down the tip-offs always come from a “befreundeten Nachrichtendienst” (allied intelligence service) anyway. They never say who this service is because everybody already knows and they’d rather not talk about it.

“A secret service that wants to protect democracy cannot trample on important democratic freedoms.”

German Of The Day: Wiederaufbaufonds

That means reconstruction bonds. Or Eurobonds/Coronabonds light. Or Germany breaking a taboo and knuckling under to France to share debt with other EU countries, if you prefer.

Merkel

It’s hard to keep up with them. Politicians just can’t burn money fast enough these days.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel broke with her country’s longstanding opposition to raising money together with other – often poorer – EU countries. But the proposal made with French President Emmanuel Macron is limited in scale and duration, which could help her sell it to skeptics back home.

It consists of 500 billion euros ($550 billion) in loans and grants to help countries through the recession, and is viewed by some as a step toward stronger EU ties as the 27-country union faces challenges not just from the virus crisis, but from populist forces in member countries Hungary and Poland who want to loosen the bloc’s ties.

Werteunion ruft zu Widerstand gegen Merkel auf.

More Bad News

For the perennial doom-and-gloom folks in charge of what we are supposed to think – at least here in Germany.

Gloom

As if the popular uprising against the Coronavirus shutdown here wasn’t enough.

Bundesbank sees early signs of recovery in German economy – Central bank expects easing of lockdown to boost activity in Europe’s largest economy

“There is currently much to suggest that overall economic developments will move up again in the course of the second quarter as a result of the easing measures and a recovery is under way.”

Lockdown Or Lockup?

Take your pick, citizens.

Rules

You either shutdown voluntarily or we shut you down permanently.

Germans are people who wait until the light turns green before crossing the street. Even if nobody else is around. They are top of the class when it comes to following rules and regulations. They are very law-abiding people, in other words. But the Coronavirus – or the arbitrary and disproportionatly restrictive government actions being taken in response to the COVID-19 pandemic here in Germany – seems to have had a negative effect upon their normal behavioral patterns and they are now taking to the streets in protest. North, south, east and west. They are, in other words, mad as hell and aren’t going to take it anymore.

Proteste in vielen deutschen Städten – Tränengas und Festnahmen bei Corona-Demo in Hamburg.